I began to edit...

 I began to edit 

the profile pictures pouring into boring,

none of them grasped my whole essence.

Before that my closets.

the small hill of colorful fabrics lays waiting to be taken to the next phase

to be sifter through new hands on a rack

relived on the bosom of another, looking for comfort,

for one day of the year.

I pulled out the bags of biz cards,

thought I'd add them to a CRM 

make order of potential clients.

Sold to me as "free" now limits me to 1,000 contacts only

the catch came, fooled me again.

I had a weekend immersion course for my Broker training,

I couldn't stay focused on the boring ways of reality.

I thought I could learn something hard 

but is this those things you meant to edit from my life?

Im seeing the truth stinging me like a roar as a lullaby goes into a snore.

Will I ever be an artist again? A respectable rebel?

One who finds the passing expressions & in her net catches them?

A land of language beyond the horizon?

Can I be more poetic?

Finding ways to play in paper and pens?

If only I let it...

and edit. 

https://rainierwylde.substack.com/p/stop-living-like-a-machine?r=xruy4&utm_medium=ios&triedRedirect=true

There is a fire in me...

 There's a fire in me that love won't put out. Im learning what love is, a way of accepting not correcting. There's a fire in me that wants to improve things, change things for the better. It's hard to let it all be and love it as so. The fire in me wants to push and motivate, wants discussion and to opinionate. A fire so hot it takes and evaporates, it swallows your air to burn brighter, growing its glow. A fire that sparkles and pops with ideas and spits wit possibly leaving a scar on your skin. It comes off warm but without warning takes things too far, ends up hurting. I have to keep my fire nestled in my arms behind a rib cage, warming my cold heart. It belongs there, somewhere safe that protects me, gives me gifts of sunny rays. There's is a fire in me that I feel is my fate and it benefits me, soul nourishing. 

Creators Collective prompt for Johnny Cash "There's a fire in me that love won't put out"

Studio Sesh for Creators Collective

 Pyrite! Flamingos! into my journal they go... floating through the air... (loves me, loves me not) my minds eye catches them to feed my inspiration... I swipe... some good, some gotta scroll... The random abundance is not what Im looking for anymore, Im looking for depth, Im looking for answers, something mature and convincing. Solutions to world hunger and new designs for cities where we can live in a way that we can walk for miles on grass like the highway. Bc we need options and walking a beautiful route could be what we want do as we chat with a friend. Laying in the grass, picking fruit from trees, animals roaming free to cuddle with me. If we want to go into the ways of the land again, we have to dream of a day human beings can be the exploring travelers they once were made to be. The day the dividing lines are unnecessary and we can walk wherever we feel a tug to go. Getting lost to know we are always home and safe. One big human family useful everywhere we go, included, greeted, learning new things, so much being offered to be a part of. Inclusion all around. No sense of lack, its complete abundance especially when everyone is open to one another. We are all so supported in this place. Devine like planet... is it heaven that Im thinking of? Earth needs a revamp, she is paradise! I think we have to get our priorities straight, come together to solve our problems and share the visions we all have. By doing so we can begin to set a unified dream in motion and begin to plan, uniting with a motivating plan one we all cam be a part of dreaming together as one human race with all the other living creatures. sharing all the gifts offered. Working for our joint cause, our mission LIFE, CREATIVITY & FREEDOM for all. Making our ancestors proud that we have finally all come together to make something that we can all enjoy and celebrate in community. We are the natives now, planetarians, we don't need to rush, just be present with one another, helpful, generous, open, kind, healthy, inspired, sharing the load of lifestyle duties like a tribe with no enemy. Herbal teas, lagoons, plenty for all, spas, sharing thoughts and theatre, across yoga, playing instruments, making art, body workers, tree climbing, bond fires with stories that delight. Yes Festival is life! We dance our beautiful bodies and sleep sound at night. <3

To put this into words...

 So important to follow natural medicine before we go to extremes with Western ways, don't you think? We can disagree but I feel it's instinctive! Based off the last post I want to explain something... I feel like Im losing my fire to express myself not only that... I am inspired to be even healthier and watch out for these signs that are taught through polarities of yin and yang for example... and applied to all areas of life! Well I did this course about Feng Shui for my home and I didn't know that Eastern medicine basically applies the same thing to the body. I thought Baguas were just a thing of the home for Feng Shui now it's also a thing to know the body. So we use the 5 Principles... the ELEMENTS...

And so here goes WOOD is the element that I need more of... the one that helps beginning, projects into action... I can do that very well... sometimes 5 at a time even LOL So no its not Wood (I thought it was) I have cut off lots of friendships and don't seem to connect well to make things happen w friendships that I have so still working on that but maybe its just society? 

It's METAL which governs the external world. Making choices... No no its not this either... I am pretty good at this it's quick and sharp and I don't care if what I need stings another bc I have to be honest. 

One of these elements seemed off and it may have been two but now Im lost w it. So I have to learn this better... I have to read it again and see. 

(more to add)

To Enlighten we must first Listen! 

We have to feel that we are with the others, not isolated and separated... as much as we want protect our energy and that's fine we are all hurting each other. Feel that you are with the others, feel love for the others! Holy ones and Non Holy ones, all whole together explore this texture mood concience & journey with, interact to grow, forgive, experience and even change someone's whole world! Make a Glory out of your variable. Earn your lesson. Figure out who you want to Be and Be A Great one at it.  <3

We are the Creators...

 Im pretty realistic and logical. I don't do the fantasy and invisible stuff for everything all the time. I respect that things are there which we cannot see. I believe in that, in spirituality and angels and the Archangels and speak with my ancestors... I even think of your ancestors. I believe in energy and the Universal Laws. I believe in order and in the power of LOVE mostly. I believe in people although I have been let down numerous times, I still am on team humanity lol. I also think that being in dire reality isn't what we necessarily need right now. the monotonous, mundane, of suffering and consciousness same lessons being taught, same mistakes you can say, but in so many ways to so many people. Like facing death let's say. Some more than others. Certain jobs have people dealing with death to make a living. What I am aiming for with this talk is that we must bring in a deep moment to go within ourselves to DREAM. It can have fantasy! It should excite us! like really get our faces smiling and a pull to accomplish it. Enough about "reality" and needing to "grow up" and "get real" it's actually a species dead of a DREAM. have you thought about where your mind goes and what it chooses to believe? Subconsciously we are targeted or even distracted to forget the reason we are here. Work hard for what? for your family yes and to be a Good Samaritan but we gotta have a mission here, a target with a bulls eye and a confidence in our decision and a Team to belong to and share our vision with. So that we can expand the vision and hear other visions to grow our perception, our goal is malleable. As soon as we choose to get somewhere I feel that the next generation will want something else. That is out of our control but the children we bring are ours to teach. They are ours to learn good principles and behaviors and what's ok and what's not ok and that maybe we need more time for one another as being proactive for us and our ultimate plan not just our boss and the company we work for. All of that would morph in and be inspired by that as well. We would have a bigger Birds Eye view, don't you think? So what doesn't align to THAT would fall off and be time and energy saved hopefully and I do believe so. It's like TED talks on the Goal for winning the game of life. Politics would be trying to help steer it there all of it would just happen bc we would know where we are trying to go and what our unified mission is. It's a beautiful thing and should be out in the open for discussion and many times you can do things or get there by doing things in many diff ways. we should have diff examples of ways in the works to challenge. Im here for it. Its an idea to stimulate the knowledge and ideas for all genres of our world to be questioned and explored and for a faster motion into the better place not the lost, hopeless, dead of ideas, obedient, can't see past this year really... its our love mission to plan something great for our planet Earth. It's all for her and for all living creatures to live sustainably as one! A wonderful ball of peace. 

Love Always…

 Nature is Love not War… and Love Heals! So what are we allowing to fly? I don’t think so. I feel better from nature than church or watching news or looking at my phone lol. I think dancing and being together with friends in nature is more important than anything the government will tell you you have to do. We should know what works for us by now and we should probably choose that. I can only choose for myself and I will. We are playing with life. It’s serious but also supposed to be a lot of good fun. I hope we can teach the next generations to choose wisely. They used to say “if someone is gona jump off a bridge, r u?” It seems like we are waiting for someone to do something while we sit in our divided boxes confused what to think. Distracted! Busy for our families and the hamster wheel of life. I stepped off and I didn’t die, I decided to take a better look from a different angle. I’m still here seeing and feeling the same things just not rushing in the illusion of the delivering of deadlines and like I’m not gona eat or something. Maybe all my usual ends aren’t being met like before or maybe I’m deciding if I even need what I thought I needed. The hair color, the nails, the shopping, the memberships, the expensive dinners & drinks. I steered toward free ways to entertain myself instead and went all natural to let my nail beds breathe and see my beautiful silver moonlights grow from my the roots of my hair. Some said they thought I looked great others said I look older… well, I am older. I’m also wiser and this is who I am without the masking. I like who I am underneath it all, I know I like beauty treatments and to change things up too. But it’s been nice to choose to do what feels right to me not just follow the norms of what society imposes. I am the opposite of a lot of what is going on… for my journey into wellness from fashion I chose to just narrow things down and see my truth at least. I finished 4 years of Probation, I did the rehabs and the guidance from multiple channels. In the end one of the best things I did was to not only choose what I chose for myself that helped me but also to SIMPLIFY my life to its absolute core. Still I had a hard time accepting the state of the world but as long as I’m ok inside of me for me I think the world will reflect that and it is changing. Sometimes it changes back and brings another challenge but I am less affected by it all bc I’m making sure to care for me and my piece of the puzzle🧩. Together we can all make it a better world bc that’s what we are here to do not whatever other BS might be preoccupied doing. Just reminding us of that. Thanks for all that you do to make this a better place for each other, You are appreciated. Be Aware! To be more useful and helpful! Healthy Happy Grateful! Make Life Great Fun! Always Teaching, Always Learning! ❤️✨

My middle finger

Burns’s but it’s my thumb instead. I’m worried it will be a whole blister… but idk! Ugh! I hurt it so bad! The hot water I poured it wrong all over my thumb. My sour sop … so emphasized! Hurting so SO much! Gosh it’s such a pain I have to absorb but burns don’t get absorbed they kinda feel worse.