Feels like I wana build

Invent, create, 

Snake plant on the wooden bench by the window and black out blinds down but I still feel something wants to peek from the cracks, who is this? How can someone look inside without my consent? And you better believe it! Have you seen those Amazon drones coming? Even ppl that drive for uber and lift have so many cameras on and around their vehicle,,, when one gets behind me on the road it feels like a police officer. Maybe I’m mischief? I’m just in hiding not yet gona be out there. I like being presented or talk show host… can a heart breaker also be a healer? I’m hurting from the pain I have inflicted by being honest! By explaining. Can we be friends? I am not sure I can do relationship yet and choose to stay open. I’m needing the dough and flipping pizzas now LOL Jimmy pass the Paperoni baby! Packed and Deliver .. UPS trucks! 

The Phoenix is Free! The burn marks left a unique print, burnt feather edges, goes to show you the fire I was in, was true. Calling, Connection! Strange Rover lol. 

First of all...

 Grateful beyond words, beyond description. 

My heart is stretched wide like a country wide. Wealth is OUR birthright, I don't quite fit in to this banal system but Im good for lots of things that go beyond anything that can be explained in labels and this outdated direction thats been manufactured to follow. Fighting to boycott the diminishing of my light, my Lord the devastation ppl are facing! Stop these devils from their unending greed! Interrupt it with healing, inspiration for the new generations to pay attention to the Good. This inescapable feeling of entrapment, cornering us w ultimatums and bribery.

Im going my way, still unclear, it's got blind spontaneous turns at any moment bc I follow my pulls of curiosity, and listen to myself beyond what Im told. The woman I am now is on a path of her own, none already taken, not afraid to stand in front of bullets and bombs for what's right, to save the innocent people and children! I am ok even if I never return. This world needs me. Needs me barbaric and humble and low maintenance to show my real needs are not of their making. I pray we can save the direction, outsmart them. We must find each other in the maze and blind folded... Reach out and hold hands and build our own better network. Too many working for them, they deny and turn a blind eye to their own truths compass. 

Beam aware, take your life back! The way of war we work for is not worth our entire lifetime. This death sentence you accept is the craziest thing of all, if we would all stop, create. a pact of peace and love, hard forgiveness, no hard love. Soft and sweet like powdered sugar. 

Hold our horses, Hold your loved ones, be the dream team, we already are that! Let go the hoarding, out of balance for more carats Good bye dream stealer of the potential future. We see you looking for a new planet, you don't fit in here, over ruled, out numbered. Tease us with money but we have value that you can't afford to even have near, No dear. 

No matter what it was all be ok I say, if only I could stand by the ones having trouble to support them, Id love to. The Earth provides, better to need less. 

Your son may have a different view from you, standing bare naked, he may begin again. 

I am happy and hard working, not perfect, I care for humanity and the better for our planet if that's not what our government is for then what is this dammit? The joke to vote! A woman of the WORLD! Make sure dear GOD there are more here for good. I send a wave of blessing over the whole Earth. My love to your heart, may it be just the amount to hit just right, profoundly melting those knots, letting you breathe again, free your worries, set you free, Free to Be! 

Step out into the unknown, trusting the Universe no matter what. Help where you can at no charge it will come back around. You are here with the rest of us angels blessed one. Love is all around. 

I began to edit...

 I began to edit 

the profile pictures pouring into boring,

none of them grasped my whole essence.

Before that my closets.

the small hill of colorful fabrics lays waiting to be taken to the next phase

to be sifter through new hands on a rack

relived on the bosom of another, looking for comfort,

for one day of the year.

I pulled out the bags of biz cards,

thought I'd add them to a CRM 

make order of potential clients.

Sold to me as "free" now limits me to 1,000 contacts only

the catch came, fooled me again.

I had a weekend immersion course for my Broker training,

I couldn't stay focused on the boring ways of reality.

I thought I could learn something hard 

but is this those things you meant to edit from my life?

Im seeing the truth stinging me like a roar as a lullaby goes into a snore.

Will I ever be an artist again? A respectable rebel?

One who finds the passing expressions & in her net catches them?

A land of language beyond the horizon?

Can I be more poetic?

Finding ways to play in paper and pens?

If only I let it...

and edit. 

https://rainierwylde.substack.com/p/stop-living-like-a-machine?r=xruy4&utm_medium=ios&triedRedirect=true

There is a fire in me...

 There's a fire in me that love won't put out. Im learning what love is, a way of accepting not correcting. There's a fire in me that wants to improve things, change things for the better. It's hard to let it all be and love it as so. The fire in me wants to push and motivate, wants discussion and to opinionate. A fire so hot it takes and evaporates, it swallows your air to burn brighter, growing its glow. A fire that sparkles and pops with ideas and spits wit possibly leaving a scar on your skin. It comes off warm but without warning takes things too far, ends up hurting. I have to keep my fire nestled in my arms behind a rib cage, warming my cold heart. It belongs there, somewhere safe that protects me, gives me gifts of sunny rays. There's is a fire in me that I feel is my fate and it benefits me, soul nourishing. 

Creators Collective prompt for Johnny Cash "There's a fire in me that love won't put out"

Studio Sesh for Creators Collective

 Pyrite! Flamingos! into my journal they go... floating through the air... (loves me, loves me not) my minds eye catches them to feed my inspiration... I swipe... some good, some gotta scroll... The random abundance is not what Im looking for anymore, Im looking for depth, Im looking for answers, something mature and convincing. Solutions to world hunger and new designs for cities where we can live in a way that we can walk for miles on grass like the highway. Bc we need options and walking a beautiful route could be what we want do as we chat with a friend. Laying in the grass, picking fruit from trees, animals roaming free to cuddle with me. If we want to go into the ways of the land again, we have to dream of a day human beings can be the exploring travelers they once were made to be. The day the dividing lines are unnecessary and we can walk wherever we feel a tug to go. Getting lost to know we are always home and safe. One big human family useful everywhere we go, included, greeted, learning new things, so much being offered to be a part of. Inclusion all around. No sense of lack, its complete abundance especially when everyone is open to one another. We are all so supported in this place. Devine like planet... is it heaven that Im thinking of? Earth needs a revamp, she is paradise! I think we have to get our priorities straight, come together to solve our problems and share the visions we all have. By doing so we can begin to set a unified dream in motion and begin to plan, uniting with a motivating plan one we all cam be a part of dreaming together as one human race with all the other living creatures. sharing all the gifts offered. Working for our joint cause, our mission LIFE, CREATIVITY & FREEDOM for all. Making our ancestors proud that we have finally all come together to make something that we can all enjoy and celebrate in community. We are the natives now, planetarians, we don't need to rush, just be present with one another, helpful, generous, open, kind, healthy, inspired, sharing the load of lifestyle duties like a tribe with no enemy. Herbal teas, lagoons, plenty for all, spas, sharing thoughts and theatre, across yoga, playing instruments, making art, body workers, tree climbing, bond fires with stories that delight. Yes Festival is life! We dance our beautiful bodies and sleep sound at night. <3

To put this into words...

 So important to follow natural medicine before we go to extremes with Western ways, don't you think? We can disagree but I feel it's instinctive! Based off the last post I want to explain something... I feel like Im losing my fire to express myself not only that... I am inspired to be even healthier and watch out for these signs that are taught through polarities of yin and yang for example... and applied to all areas of life! Well I did this course about Feng Shui for my home and I didn't know that Eastern medicine basically applies the same thing to the body. I thought Baguas were just a thing of the home for Feng Shui now it's also a thing to know the body. So we use the 5 Principles... the ELEMENTS...

And so here goes WOOD is the element that I need more of... the one that helps beginning, projects into action... I can do that very well... sometimes 5 at a time even LOL So no its not Wood (I thought it was) I have cut off lots of friendships and don't seem to connect well to make things happen w friendships that I have so still working on that but maybe its just society? 

It's METAL which governs the external world. Making choices... No no its not this either... I am pretty good at this it's quick and sharp and I don't care if what I need stings another bc I have to be honest. 

One of these elements seemed off and it may have been two but now Im lost w it. So I have to learn this better... I have to read it again and see. 

(more to add)

To Enlighten we must first Listen! 

We have to feel that we are with the others, not isolated and separated... as much as we want protect our energy and that's fine we are all hurting each other. Feel that you are with the others, feel love for the others! Holy ones and Non Holy ones, all whole together explore this texture mood concience & journey with, interact to grow, forgive, experience and even change someone's whole world! Make a Glory out of your variable. Earn your lesson. Figure out who you want to Be and Be A Great one at it.  <3