Lavender Lullabye

So supposedly I have to be honest w myself... I wish I knew the question I needed to answer.... I would seriously try to answer it head on and honestly! Im not even scared... I think I can do anything I put my mind to... if u think so too then the next step is taking the next step toward whatever that is. I guess I have never felt I wanted to find that still point inside me... I like the run through thoughts and when I dont like thoughts I have been raining myself to think of what I wnt but I still gota find the still momemnt inside more often and get lost in that a bit, it deserves to be explored :) I am gona be honest about how I feel about myself... so I procrastinate, I do it pretty much everyday about something... what I want gets shoved over to the next day and then a week goes by and its still wanted. Im super independant, love to be alone and then love people also very much but when im alone i dont have to do anything but what i want, how i want it when i want.,,, and ppl always let me down... i hope i dont let ppl down I just wana be aware of what I do wrong more than what others do wrong to me. I have to focus on improving. resolve issues :) not playing the mind games. like feel it and see and let it go... notice the energy when its around u or inside of u that ur feeling... if u stay there w bad thoughts for a while u can feel the enrgy it starts cooking inside u lol and it affcts u, affecting others as well. the waves of energy are like all we are and a whole world of invisible treasures exist there. So when u feel good, grateful, happy, u feel that energy and notice the difference between the opposite the unhappy bad feelings and allow urself to realize u have control over this as soon as u can see it and change it eliminating the thoughts that dont serve u any longer... releasing them from the cage of ur insides... and free of it! its never ending and I can get ticked off over the littlest thing but I laugh at myself soon after... but sometimes mistakes are HUGE and cant be released that easily they keep working their way back in ur head and u keep feeling that vibration and it really doesnt serve u any good,,, u become HEADY and not HEARTy... so ur there for as long as u need to be. I love u :) learn to love yourself like lavendar... lavender is a shade of purple... purple is one part red and one part blue... lets say hot and cold, instead of good and evil... and together we are this Purple color that changes shades as we project our thoughts and feelings as a combined Universe... the lavendar bc it has more light than darkness... thats what we want to look like, at least.