A Fallen Drunk…

II think I want to be a dancing writer and all at the same time. Rich Right Spirit, native, world traveler, the curious kind, free, Joking, A network room for growth, the reach above, i love you so much, 10-A-plus! Flying white dove highlight. Starting bright beginnings, swaying visions like vice. (I do that) devide why? Multiply. Stop what cement wells when dry. A greener grass across this path. We stayed in the lodge wake up and prepare to die! Colors are lieying lazy melted together murky waters loitering together…. Entering a fire dance, a range of blues. The wisest why? Blessed yes, knowing otherwise. Looping language repelling regions of thought. Lost for words we dial in numbered secured. Cured. Suddenly, sun burned. Staring at the start we imagined the entire route. Inspired we live out more ways than the one we go about. Flights of feelings, wired w words, wind down in spiralling stairs elevating my perfect soul somehwere. I guess I can kick it, take the cerebral way into my heart. Following God sparks, inspiring my internal spark for more parks wolf clubs dont need Grooming or fruitful tree routes. Re-route! Almost F-Out! Lol or stay and help me to bring in a new lasting Happiness when lost, we have easily been able & found. Finally facing my enemy and even a seeping peace of sound. Owe. It hurts. My little peace I hold. Please can we talk? Who are you? One of my own. Free to fink, free to find, that only an open mind, is the one worth my skills, skull a prize- on. Awarding #888 for all! Breathe the union wise and slow, lightning speed available. 000 un twisted faith festered. See w 3s ups and downwards 🌀 spirals of 8’s in exponents. Bathe in mathematical bubble baths. 

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Dont cry

Time for love Habibi

Happy-p

;)

Or u have been robbed.

Alchemize...

 This journaling exercise helped me realize some things and I wanted to re-write it here. 

I was asked to recall an incident that got me mad and that morning just before then I was quite frustrated by an incident I had to wait over an hour to be seen and was going to be late to my next appmt. I had to put my foot down and stand up for myself bc this was not right for me and I said I would have to come back. Well, I was given ultimatums and fear mongering and still left bc I knew I was doing the best for me not to mess up my next meeting. I was somehow able to get the meeting on zoom and go back to wait for the appt. I chose this incident bc it just happened to do the exercise. I am leaving some details out bc it is private and unnecessary to share. 

When thinking back at this once it was in the past I was first proud to have dealt with it by standing up to myself and my boundaries and my sense of self respect. I made a huge effort to be on time for my zoom meeting and I did the best I could given the time was overlapping. I was originally there at 9:22am and my zoom call was at 11am! I thought I had plenty of time so next Monday I have to be there earlier, Id say 9am. 

I felt good that I was able to go back to my house and having done all that could eat lunch at home w my Costco purchases from the day before. I felt confident, strong and grateful. I knew those fear tactics were wrong.  I was happy to be free, past that difficulty, that I was 100% sober and clean and doing everything to my best capacity. What more could I or anybody else want from me?!

Then I thought deeper into it and realized that the reason why I was 100% sober then was bc I had to be for Probation That was a BIG awareness,,, I might have not been if it wasn't being demanded of me. and then from there it turned into gratitude. I was grateful for my situation and the gift of making me a more aware and clean sober person for my dog, my parents, my community, my zoom meeting, for my path to a better version of me. I realized that was a huge thing to be grateful for. So from being "bothered" I alchemized it and realized how Grateful I am for all of what is happening right now and dunked it in sweet LOVE.