So glad to be back! & Good.

I truly believe in divine timing and that this is orchestrated mostly by our overall higher power… which works with no force but still accomplishes incredible things. That’s my muse, that’s my inspiration for how I wana be in the world. 

The things that shoot out from my brain are quite literally merduring LOL in a good way… murder vs merde… kill vs shit… use your brain… no really tho please let’s use it better and be playful but also precise right? We are not trying to hurt anybody!!! It’s so hard when your just being outspoken and (honest) vs staying in my nest so comfy not saying a word LOL that’s not as (honest). Here is my next one to get off my chest… 

Busy? Bicycle in Spanish is Bicicleta pronounced BUSY cleta fun job maybe? ;) 

Just pulling your leg… cuz the next one is coming… 

I’d like to feel I can make more noise or be my busy self perhaps more creative at night… some places only have day for two hours a day… what then? Sleep more or be me more? Haha why am I asking you? Idk I feel like hearing what you think for a change is that something you can get into deciding where you yourself stand by now? Or am I the only ballsy ballerina of the group for now? This surely won’t be a forever thing now will it? Let’s dance? Let’s whisper and let’s do some deep healing and sharing to cross over some Amazon rainforests and get over this weird hump. He’s not as important as you… look into ourselves and see where we can improve for ourselves. Do that then complain like some high and mighty perfect example my white ass with freckles is smiling like my face… in the dark you wouldn’t know the difference. Kidding. 

I have my period and I even yelled at some family bc their two twin kids sitting behind me were just out of line completely and this is RIGHT AFTER I was asking God to give me a child of my own. Bc I don’t know what else is better for me. And I’m kinda thinking I can get artificially inseminated and just do it on my own entirely. I am now thinking desperate measures that wouldn’t normally be my preferred style. Because I don’t know. Some things I don’t wana say../ and then we are all different and most ppl wouldn’t have gone this far! But I have these classy manners and like I’m traditional too inside I must have all the dualities in a perfect unique dish that eventually if u eat it will come out of your ass just like everything else does. Not that I wana focus there but I want u to notice the actual absurdities that in the end I see fitting. I can’t tell you enough. It’s like so many things are a joke or have this obvious playful other meaning.. maybe u have to speak more than one language to understand this… but you can learn and I can teach u and it exists in English in itself in millions maybe billions of ways… bc it’s breaking down the root word to know the meaning of the word so u just basically do that for answers and you really hear it and the similarity of another … what else does it sound like? So its PLAY! And we can play with all of life, the reasons why things are named such and such and what they sound like and that same sound in a diff language… it’s a little ways of being more aware and more playful and more explorative… if we can’t easily travel we surely can with our thoughts and mind and the study of the ways in which we choose the words. Is this impeccable? No. So I’m breaking a Totalitarian Law… but its to learn something as a foolish creative and it’s like being a child and sometimes I may or we may be wrong but to get it right we have to go see and find out. We can’t just follow the directions when their are no directions and when leaders are showing their aren’t rules we must explore what rules we wish to truly keep. What resonates? How can we teach respect, love, honesty, … I was a kid too. I had a brother and we were annoying! Or rebellious and we had fun doing that. When ppl let us get away with things or when we felt like mini Gods… like we were affecting for our reasons and if we were allowed. 

These parents defended their cute kids right. 

Of course ok!

But I am an innocent person LOLOLOLOL who now was in the position of that role when the guy sitting in the plane is like what the fuck your kicking my chair…I can suck it up BUT NOT FOR 9 hours mother fuckers!!!!! 

So I had my period! (Don’t forget,,, women can be different versions of themselves depending on these things… many things)

I was up late the night before my hand is swollen w a new tattoo and I also just had some red wine Butttttt

I even also was intelligent enough to mention a solution to the problem LMAO 

I’m sorry actually I really am but OMG this is just I wish I was a better Jesus but Jesus is a woman this time and he teaches shit in diff straight up ways and you assholes are the ones to give another cheek meaning you have a blank face and don’t even support my side. I’m like OK soooo 

Most ppl are in a relationship or have kids so THIS IS THIER NORM hahaha NOT MINE! 

I also thought of if I would have a kid my kid would not be allowed to do that WHY bc I myself have consideration and would make sure to teach them! That’s important for me! Whatever way you do with your kid u can’t ever even tell what they will come out to be bc it’s not a one way road! So do it your way OK but I’m like …

I turn around in my seat and ask WHO IS THE MOTHER OF THESE KIDS? Right over their head LOLOL

(That’s where I first went wrong bc I could have just asked them like an adult to adult kind of before tattle telling… BUT I just was trying to respect the whole topic of children and I’m not their parent bc these days u can’t even like take a pic or appreciate the beauty of kids wo the parents worrying about sickos or some shit. We are tarnished into fear there just like the racism thing… so like they re-run that vibe and it’s like awkward to see a colored person at a CVS like we are white and against them! Omg Please take me off your list this is a clepto crank call from THE DIVIDERS who run this game for profit… while we work for them… slay slaving our life away a waving can’t buy me love, plant more grass ass or gas nobody rides for free except them bc they aren’t doing that great at their job… this whole thing is already runnin on low battery and a broken record Dream made from repetition and to give us a lil structure and stuff… I mean it’s obvious we needed something w this incredible energy we have. But so do u see it? Now the government is an imp thing here that helps us GLOW AND FLOW GO TO THE BRIGHT DIRECTION AND BALL OF LOVE TAKE A GLANCE AND NOTICE THE BALANCE FALL AND ACE FROM LEARNING MORE THAN EARNING. Hi, low, hello won’t u tell me your way? We are the dream of the past… what is the new one?

It’s like Mars since it feels kinda far away from here. But heart of here tap in… glow within, expand the love you have and lead with this primal intuitive understanding. 

Where was I? 

Flossing my teeth that’s all Folks! 

Love you and not over set Goal! 

Xoxoxoxo

TTAM

Scared of a Lady Bug?

 Once I saw a lady bug in my salad and I freaked out, I mean I FREAKED OUT! I threw my fork & ran out of the restaurant, sat on the curb in the middle of the Meatpacking District in New York City in hyperventillation like in almost a sweat my heart racing in just shock that a Lady Bug was in MY salad! It was that I wasnt expecting it! It scared the hell out of me. I cant even explain the franticness I was in like I may have cried I cant even remember exactly but it was just terrible and then I thought about all the bugs that we literally live with and how you know, they are everywhere and should be our friends and how they deserve to be here too and just it was so overwhlming that the wave of FEAR I guess took over. 

Looking back, I find this to be kinda funny bc after all it was a lady bug! They are good luck aren't they? They are cute! I mean imagine the bug could have been a mini monster type bug! you know like all the other ugly ones omg they are so scary! Roaches or a worm, a silverfish, something with antennas that sniffs or a dead fly idk. Just the possibilities are endless LOL. So, I got lucky LOL. 

Beings.

"I have a new poem Id like to share...

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a Bee!

Bumming through the trees

Looking for color in a world he only saw green

Bummer for him,

Ready to pollenate something

Fuzzy Wuzzy um bee leaves

Hiding from his Queen."

By: Tamara Aida Diaz

Feels like I wana build

Invent, create, 

Snake plant on the wooden bench by the window and black out blinds down but I still feel something wants to peek from the cracks, who is this? How can someone look inside without my consent? And you better believe it! Have you seen those Amazon drones coming? Even ppl that drive for uber and lift have so many cameras on and around their vehicle,,, when one gets behind me on the road it feels like a police officer. Maybe I’m mischief? I’m just in hiding not yet gona be out there. I like being presented or talk show host… can a heart breaker also be a healer? I’m hurting from the pain I have inflicted by being honest! By explaining. Can we be friends? I am not sure I can do relationship yet and choose to stay open. I’m needing the dough and flipping pizzas now LOL Jimmy pass the Paperoni baby! Packed and Deliver .. UPS trucks! 

The Phoenix is Free! The burn marks left a unique print, burnt feather edges, goes to show you the fire I was in, was true. Calling, Connection! Strange Rover lol. 

First of all...

 Grateful beyond words, beyond description. 

My heart is stretched wide like a country wide. Wealth is OUR birthright, I don't quite fit in to this banal system but Im good for lots of things that go beyond anything that can be explained in labels and this outdated direction thats been manufactured to follow. Fighting to boycott the diminishing of my light, my Lord the devastation ppl are facing! Stop these devils from their unending greed! Interrupt it with healing, inspiration for the new generations to pay attention to the Good. This inescapable feeling of entrapment, cornering us w ultimatums and bribery.

Im going my way, still unclear, it's got blind spontaneous turns at any moment bc I follow my pulls of curiosity, and listen to myself beyond what Im told. The woman I am now is on a path of her own, none already taken, not afraid to stand in front of bullets and bombs for what's right, to save the innocent people and children! I am ok even if I never return. This world needs me. Needs me barbaric and humble and low maintenance to show my real needs are not of their making. I pray we can save the direction, outsmart them. We must find each other in the maze and blind folded... Reach out and hold hands and build our own better network. Too many working for them, they deny and turn a blind eye to their own truths compass. 

Beam aware, take your life back! The way of war we work for is not worth our entire lifetime. This death sentence you accept is the craziest thing of all, if we would all stop, create. a pact of peace and love, hard forgiveness, no hard love. Soft and sweet like powdered sugar. 

Hold our horses, Hold your loved ones, be the dream team, we already are that! Let go the hoarding, out of balance for more carats Good bye dream stealer of the potential future. We see you looking for a new planet, you don't fit in here, over ruled, out numbered. Tease us with money but we have value that you can't afford to even have near, No dear. 

No matter what it was all be ok I say, if only I could stand by the ones having trouble to support them, Id love to. The Earth provides, better to need less. 

Your son may have a different view from you, standing bare naked, he may begin again. 

I am happy and hard working, not perfect, I care for humanity and the better for our planet if that's not what our government is for then what is this dammit? The joke to vote! A woman of the WORLD! Make sure dear GOD there are more here for good. I send a wave of blessing over the whole Earth. My love to your heart, may it be just the amount to hit just right, profoundly melting those knots, letting you breathe again, free your worries, set you free, Free to Be! 

Step out into the unknown, trusting the Universe no matter what. Help where you can at no charge it will come back around. You are here with the rest of us angels blessed one. Love is all around. 

I began to edit...

 I began to edit 

the profile pictures pouring into boring,

none of them grasped my whole essence.

Before that my closets.

the small hill of colorful fabrics lays waiting to be taken to the next phase

to be sifter through new hands on a rack

relived on the bosom of another, looking for comfort,

for one day of the year.

I pulled out the bags of biz cards,

thought I'd add them to a CRM 

make order of potential clients.

Sold to me as "free" now limits me to 1,000 contacts only

the catch came, fooled me again.

I had a weekend immersion course for my Broker training,

I couldn't stay focused on the boring ways of reality.

I thought I could learn something hard 

but is this those things you meant to edit from my life?

Im seeing the truth stinging me like a roar as a lullaby goes into a snore.

Will I ever be an artist again? A respectable rebel?

One who finds the passing expressions & in her net catches them?

A land of language beyond the horizon?

Can I be more poetic?

Finding ways to play in paper and pens?

If only I let it...

and edit. 

https://rainierwylde.substack.com/p/stop-living-like-a-machine?r=xruy4&utm_medium=ios&triedRedirect=true

There is a fire in me...

 There's a fire in me that love won't put out. Im learning what love is, a way of accepting not correcting. There's a fire in me that wants to improve things, change things for the better. It's hard to let it all be and love it as so. The fire in me wants to push and motivate, wants discussion and to opinionate. A fire so hot it takes and evaporates, it swallows your air to burn brighter, growing its glow. A fire that sparkles and pops with ideas and spits wit possibly leaving a scar on your skin. It comes off warm but without warning takes things too far, ends up hurting. I have to keep my fire nestled in my arms behind a rib cage, warming my cold heart. It belongs there, somewhere safe that protects me, gives me gifts of sunny rays. There's is a fire in me that I feel is my fate and it benefits me, soul nourishing. 

Creators Collective prompt for Johnny Cash "There's a fire in me that love won't put out"

Studio Sesh for Creators Collective

 Pyrite! Flamingos! into my journal they go... floating through the air... (loves me, loves me not) my minds eye catches them to feed my inspiration... I swipe... some good, some gotta scroll... The random abundance is not what Im looking for anymore, Im looking for depth, Im looking for answers, something mature and convincing. Solutions to world hunger and new designs for cities where we can live in a way that we can walk for miles on grass like the highway. Bc we need options and walking a beautiful route could be what we want do as we chat with a friend. Laying in the grass, picking fruit from trees, animals roaming free to cuddle with me. If we want to go into the ways of the land again, we have to dream of a day human beings can be the exploring travelers they once were made to be. The day the dividing lines are unnecessary and we can walk wherever we feel a tug to go. Getting lost to know we are always home and safe. One big human family useful everywhere we go, included, greeted, learning new things, so much being offered to be a part of. Inclusion all around. No sense of lack, its complete abundance especially when everyone is open to one another. We are all so supported in this place. Devine like planet... is it heaven that Im thinking of? Earth needs a revamp, she is paradise! I think we have to get our priorities straight, come together to solve our problems and share the visions we all have. By doing so we can begin to set a unified dream in motion and begin to plan, uniting with a motivating plan one we all cam be a part of dreaming together as one human race with all the other living creatures. sharing all the gifts offered. Working for our joint cause, our mission LIFE, CREATIVITY & FREEDOM for all. Making our ancestors proud that we have finally all come together to make something that we can all enjoy and celebrate in community. We are the natives now, planetarians, we don't need to rush, just be present with one another, helpful, generous, open, kind, healthy, inspired, sharing the load of lifestyle duties like a tribe with no enemy. Herbal teas, lagoons, plenty for all, spas, sharing thoughts and theatre, across yoga, playing instruments, making art, body workers, tree climbing, bond fires with stories that delight. Yes Festival is life! We dance our beautiful bodies and sleep sound at night. <3

To put this into words...

 So important to follow natural medicine before we go to extremes with Western ways, don't you think? We can disagree but I feel it's instinctive! Based off the last post I want to explain something... I feel like Im losing my fire to express myself not only that... I am inspired to be even healthier and watch out for these signs that are taught through polarities of yin and yang for example... and applied to all areas of life! Well I did this course about Feng Shui for my home and I didn't know that Eastern medicine basically applies the same thing to the body. I thought Baguas were just a thing of the home for Feng Shui now it's also a thing to know the body. So we use the 5 Principles... the ELEMENTS...

And so here goes WOOD is the element that I need more of... the one that helps beginning, projects into action... I can do that very well... sometimes 5 at a time even LOL So no its not Wood (I thought it was) I have cut off lots of friendships and don't seem to connect well to make things happen w friendships that I have so still working on that but maybe its just society? 

It's METAL which governs the external world. Making choices... No no its not this either... I am pretty good at this it's quick and sharp and I don't care if what I need stings another bc I have to be honest. 

One of these elements seemed off and it may have been two but now Im lost w it. So I have to learn this better... I have to read it again and see. 

(more to add)

To Enlighten we must first Listen! 

We have to feel that we are with the others, not isolated and separated... as much as we want protect our energy and that's fine we are all hurting each other. Feel that you are with the others, feel love for the others! Holy ones and Non Holy ones, all whole together explore this texture mood concience & journey with, interact to grow, forgive, experience and even change someone's whole world! Make a Glory out of your variable. Earn your lesson. Figure out who you want to Be and Be A Great one at it.  <3

We are the Creators...

 Im pretty realistic and logical. I don't do the fantasy and invisible stuff for everything all the time. I respect that things are there which we cannot see. I believe in that, in spirituality and angels and the Archangels and speak with my ancestors... I even think of your ancestors. I believe in energy and the Universal Laws. I believe in order and in the power of LOVE mostly. I believe in people although I have been let down numerous times, I still am on team humanity lol. I also think that being in dire reality isn't what we necessarily need right now. the monotonous, mundane, of suffering and consciousness same lessons being taught, same mistakes you can say, but in so many ways to so many people. Like facing death let's say. Some more than others. Certain jobs have people dealing with death to make a living. What I am aiming for with this talk is that we must bring in a deep moment to go within ourselves to DREAM. It can have fantasy! It should excite us! like really get our faces smiling and a pull to accomplish it. Enough about "reality" and needing to "grow up" and "get real" it's actually a species dead of a DREAM. have you thought about where your mind goes and what it chooses to believe? Subconsciously we are targeted or even distracted to forget the reason we are here. Work hard for what? for your family yes and to be a Good Samaritan but we gotta have a mission here, a target with a bulls eye and a confidence in our decision and a Team to belong to and share our vision with. So that we can expand the vision and hear other visions to grow our perception, our goal is malleable. As soon as we choose to get somewhere I feel that the next generation will want something else. That is out of our control but the children we bring are ours to teach. They are ours to learn good principles and behaviors and what's ok and what's not ok and that maybe we need more time for one another as being proactive for us and our ultimate plan not just our boss and the company we work for. All of that would morph in and be inspired by that as well. We would have a bigger Birds Eye view, don't you think? So what doesn't align to THAT would fall off and be time and energy saved hopefully and I do believe so. It's like TED talks on the Goal for winning the game of life. Politics would be trying to help steer it there all of it would just happen bc we would know where we are trying to go and what our unified mission is. It's a beautiful thing and should be out in the open for discussion and many times you can do things or get there by doing things in many diff ways. we should have diff examples of ways in the works to challenge. Im here for it. Its an idea to stimulate the knowledge and ideas for all genres of our world to be questioned and explored and for a faster motion into the better place not the lost, hopeless, dead of ideas, obedient, can't see past this year really... its our love mission to plan something great for our planet Earth. It's all for her and for all living creatures to live sustainably as one! A wonderful ball of peace. 

Love Always…

 Nature is Love not War… and Love Heals! So what are we allowing to fly? I don’t think so. I feel better from nature than church or watching news or looking at my phone lol. I think dancing and being together with friends in nature is more important than anything the government will tell you you have to do. We should know what works for us by now and we should probably choose that. I can only choose for myself and I will. We are playing with life. It’s serious but also supposed to be a lot of good fun. I hope we can teach the next generations to choose wisely. They used to say “if someone is gona jump off a bridge, r u?” It seems like we are waiting for someone to do something while we sit in our divided boxes confused what to think. Distracted! Busy for our families and the hamster wheel of life. I stepped off and I didn’t die, I decided to take a better look from a different angle. I’m still here seeing and feeling the same things just not rushing in the illusion of the delivering of deadlines and like I’m not gona eat or something. Maybe all my usual ends aren’t being met like before or maybe I’m deciding if I even need what I thought I needed. The hair color, the nails, the shopping, the memberships, the expensive dinners & drinks. I steered toward free ways to entertain myself instead and went all natural to let my nail beds breathe and see my beautiful silver moonlights grow from my the roots of my hair. Some said they thought I looked great others said I look older… well, I am older. I’m also wiser and this is who I am without the masking. I like who I am underneath it all, I know I like beauty treatments and to change things up too. But it’s been nice to choose to do what feels right to me not just follow the norms of what society imposes. I am the opposite of a lot of what is going on… for my journey into wellness from fashion I chose to just narrow things down and see my truth at least. I finished 4 years of Probation, I did the rehabs and the guidance from multiple channels. In the end one of the best things I did was to not only choose what I chose for myself that helped me but also to SIMPLIFY my life to its absolute core. Still I had a hard time accepting the state of the world but as long as I’m ok inside of me for me I think the world will reflect that and it is changing. Sometimes it changes back and brings another challenge but I am less affected by it all bc I’m making sure to care for me and my piece of the puzzle🧩. Together we can all make it a better world bc that’s what we are here to do not whatever other BS might be preoccupied doing. Just reminding us of that. Thanks for all that you do to make this a better place for each other, You are appreciated. Be Aware! To be more useful and helpful! Healthy Happy Grateful! Make Life Great Fun! Always Teaching, Always Learning! ❤️✨

My middle finger

Burns’s but it’s my thumb instead. I’m worried it will be a whole blister… but idk! Ugh! I hurt it so bad! The hot water I poured it wrong all over my thumb. My sour sop … so emphasized! Hurting so SO much! Gosh it’s such a pain I have to absorb but burns don’t get absorbed they kinda feel worse. 

Way Up!

 I have to come and write. I can't sleep tonight. I really tried. I had a wonderful beach day hours in the sun and swimming and g=doing yoga and  even got a sunburn. I needed it. sometimes I want go and the day gets by me and I spend way too much time on my phone. like listening to Tarot cards like its really weird how much I do that now. I realize I do it a lot and then go back to playing music. It's like a weird addiction I have to say. Not feeling the best today. Like ppl are weird again. I have some new things happening but I guess it's been tough w Holidays, driving from FTL is annoying! Im all alone like in a car for a while and Im a lady, you know? Im not a lil 20 something like whatever.... if Im going to go somewhere it's gotta be worth it, gotta be like up to my standards. I have a lil taste and standards Honestly... So, Im a lil annoyed LOL ppl with their Bullshit, dirty ass places and crap I mean... Im just over dealing with a lot of it by now. LOL. I have this feeling in my soul like why aren't better ppl here yet who care? but so I offered myself... to help... the things needed sometimes happen to be what Im exactly good at. I think Im a writer. I don't care if you think this or that... it's important what U think of yourself and what you are ok with for U. Im definitely not ok w a lot of it LOL so I find I have a smaller group of friends but Im really ok with it. having too many "friends" at least for me was strange bc they weren't all my friends anyway so your trying to figure out who really is and I was just a very trusting person and wanted the most best for everyone... and if I was EVER snarky or whatever I was so just a hurt person w a pure soul underneath that. I am doing way better now. I am still trying to make the boo coup bucks without selling my soul like everyone else lol. I'm keeping my standards high and hoping u can just settle your lil ass in check mother fucker... I mean it. I can be cool but don't cross me hmmm Im holding it down. Im here to stir things up a bit. I don't have any problem with that. :)

I am happy to know you care. I am happy u got a chance to meet me hopefully and that I made a positive impact on your life. I am here to make real friends and be real with ppl and get creative I guess... I don't know I am deep, I have learned a lot and I value you and your opinion, believe it or not. Wana know what Im also a Dancer, a Healer, a very Intuitive Friend, Community Member, Visionary, Athlete, Independent Woman, and Writer,,, Im a Writer.... bc I like to write.... and never really thought I was that good enough to say "I'm a writer" but I am bc I am someone who feels... as an artist and I love words,,, I love learning, expressing myself and understanding this weird ass journey of life bc let me tell u... I wish I could just be soaring free somehow like a bird like Jenny wanted to do in Forest Gump... I said I felt like her... I don't want to end up like her. I want more for myself than that. I am going to be careful and I don't want to partake in everything. I have to follow my hearts call. I have to say OK you wana be like that... go ahead.... but I am like this and I will do what I feel is right for me. IS IT NOT>? Thank you for letting me say this. It is really important. I already feel SOOO much better. I need nature and that's about it. LOL I am nature! :;

The spy stuff is also kinda getting to me. Im really grateful though. I am. I have to go to India!!!!! or Japan!!!! or Istanbul!!! or soooo many placessss I can't wait to... please go wherever you want to go. I am the light.... please let me shine light on your path. I am not jelouse of you, I am happy for you, I am here to help you get to where you want to go. Be honest with yourself. I went to places and had to tell deep dark secrets and I went to 3 rehabs. Did you know that>? not my choice! 

Let me explain, First time I was taking pics of some "illegal immigrants" making pizza!!!!! I just thought I was taking a picture at a pizza place next door to a club was it called Rock Club>? I swear I can't even remember where I used to go bc I don't care. So upstate NY and when they tried to take my drink and phone away og=hhhhh it was a David Lynch movie. scary.

Then it was Jupiter Beach a place called Beach House that was for an incident in Key West... ugh what a nightmare. I can deal with a nightmare, I can. I just don't want to. I don't chose to watch those Investigator Drama mystery shows they all like. I do not like that!!!! I like spiritual stuff and creative stuff. 

Then again, outpatient for the same judge Judge Wilson, ughhh he's really extreme and cookoo doesn't get me... only understands who he himself is I guess. bc it was not the me me me he needed to see. So I moved to FTL, PS never wanted to but gave in to it bc of my father.... bc I don't care for the material world anymore... it's liberating to not be as into it as they want ... I did it,,, trust me I know. 

Some people will never understand... are there Billionaires new rich? study that. not trying to hate on anybody in a good place... but are they??? with that power... are they? since the system can be corrupted like IT IS... anything can then I guess. So it's really up to us to know better by now... not by ONE POINT but by a good amount of fuckingLIVING LIFE THE WAY that is closer to freedom ok? (I love this song) ((TEMPLE by Love Pass Filter))

Anyway, I want to say it isn't something to be proud of! I am like embarrassed that I had to do the stupid shit I had to do for a lot of shit actually. I wish not. don't. So I wanted to say I was only up for ONE NIGHT not a bunch of nights like everyone else.... I wasn't like other crazy friends who are AMAZING pppl by the way!!! I think that says a lot right there. & if not for u, it does for me and I don't care what your beliefs are. they shouldn't impact me like this. I am a very good lil soul who can finally say WOW OK YOU SUCK LOL to a lot of what she has seen. Not a problem... I have also seen So much that has molded me and shaped me and that I can feel inside of me... like that neighbor I had in London and the twins in Madrid and the project I won at Central St Martins, and so many special ppl I have met along the way. Real ppl. or that time when Im at a table dancing and Leonardo DiCaprio comes to the table... I pretended as if nothing LOL... and he was dating Gisele! its just like stuff like that... if I was a bad bitch I would but I don't have the need for that type of stuff. Or like Ralph Laurens son David picking me up at a Sony party! I mean... talk about dreamy stuff... I'm not kidding. I love stories. I love true stories lots. I don't have much time for fake ones at this moment in my life. I am here for the ride, with you my Ppls. WAKE UP!

Lost Beings of Hearing

To be

Los seres humanos

Losers no body to be thee!

To be wonderful humans its the plan aint it? Plant yourself pretty flowers…

Seed sprout above it

Be above it all

Graceful w bright pigmant 

Be, ser, se, eres, here it is.

Through whiskers in the sky or not

You are full of being you in your element 

All u need to do is do that you you do.

Tantalizing aromas pollen powderful

So many hues of yous yet each one of a kind.

Blues and Greens need your warmth 

Arousing demure. Surprising pop like spark 

Candy to the eye

Books written about u, bouquets of your relatives for centuries gave life to the dull graphite. Gaining wonder from Gaia mother organic organizings energy lightning. Loves you even if it falls on not. where art thou? The flowers? May Allows us & Maybe even all of us. Eden-tually oddly not to take after the mothers loom of blooms and give a hand to her at that. Wild Love to! See hue soon! Another place to look besides a book, the look of life, nature our neighbors, learning to love Earth and knowing her worth is pleasing Earth. A Moving Peace with her dances through time la vie devine, ohm mama mia. Telling all truth through ooze. Her fate greatfully appreciated finds a way to keep our faith like exclamation in a relaxation. Dont say more.

What to sei I spell it like that bc

I think its what I wana say. Oh what a night! I wanted to go so I went but cant deep end w light weights which is my free style selection! Great times are good and good times are easy… im looking for a good for me good time that is Great and masterful, no TAM wasted… its a pro grace… progressing w no sins whatsoever bc those are judgements, beliefs and I dont have the same ones as you do. My ones are a number that you dont need to know, neither does the government. They are clearly wireing us to show us that it may happen and the good ole days will be officially over. Freedom is dumb to count on like that. They are accountants and we are being insected on, is it not? What on Earth? We dont even all agree this is a ball anymore? Its a frisbee? Ok… so then? Why not? Free Be it so be it? Please ure Earths wings… fly the frequentcy with your vibration… adding in beware! We are being A way and make it your blest blessed boastful authentic way. I do as much as I can. I still get pressured, feel doubt/fear (rarely), simply want more from the world bc I dont see it all in a fair totality, I see what is given to live with and THAT is what Im talking about queens, not the real mellow drama. Vibe with me. Wherever u are I want u to be where u are bc you chose it, and to sit there w it til u realize a better way, and that nobody helps u just like me bc it sucks and it strengthens u, u eventually have to do u not bc anybody said so but bc ur nothing without knowing who you really are and who is your friend for real and your sence of ur own worth and more is for u to get closer to get clearer on… bc we love you and this journey we get to take with each other. Its ok to use tools to numb here but your not the same sane you. Your the other one and its not that Im trying to take that away from you… Im trying to simply be here loving my life living fully, incorporated with hobbies and my health and less war king 5-9 better CAUSE, si! No? Ha. Ok whatever I say must be done and so let it be so. Bada bing bada 💥 link ping damn pink pony Bruised… what a tale. Made it here no edit… fungi. 

Trust Harder...

 This whole way about me is not exactly how I expect life to go. I think it's hard to find someone to truly connect and be with for the long haul. I say to myself how I love ppl, I send my sincere love out to everyone involved, from my angels and ancestors to even yours. To be playful and honest is not my next version of me anymore so much. Im really more intro than extrovert I think. I rather learn something than be misunderstood by you and trying to prove anything. I don't feel the need to. Im not valued by everyone and Im yet aware of my value. Im really more ok w me than the rest of you. how would I know you really care for. me, believe in me, want the best in me? I don't know the truth. ppl are really holding back instead of being honest. Do you feel the same? do u like u? lets just start there. things need time. Im not a bird, I don't speak bird, but I try. do u even see the birds at all? I am proud of all of you for everything we have done. what r u planning for next? I think we are all family. I know we are. we're all somehow connected. I want to just show my respect for it all. how should I do that>? I have an opinion. maybe it's ok to keep being myself... be a light so I can find you. love all trust harder. 

I haven't written on here in a while Crocodile...

 I drove in a crazy rain storm. It wasn't normal. I will tell you that. I am super happy by the way, I kinda look at my phone too much, yes I don't want to but I used to be SO busy I never had time for that... so now I do... I think Im actually really lucky LOL like to be able to learn so many things... I rather read but its so hard to w the phone... Im addicted to Tarot card readings... I don't care about much else ... except Gaza. I do care about that but then U KNOW WHAT? I care about CUBA. We forgot about CUBA.... So YES Im pissed off at allllll of Yalll for disturbing the peace.... Good Luck To ALL The Cubans. Dont forget It’s the Cuban Link!

Religious

They said “deny yourself and pick up your cross” and I disagree. Whats worked for me is to actually pay more attention to my own intuition. To treat myself better likeTreat myself in this world! Instead of work so hard that I ignore myself. I cant believe I did that. Always for whatever had to be done before me. Before myself. I wasnt in “need” of a massage. Guess what? I so was. It changed me. Things like that changed me. I just want ppl to invest in themselves more. I was so busy, too busy to think of my own needs. It always was a catching up kinda feel. I felt smart like a surfviving rat but never prioritizing my own life, needs, desires. I have a deep hurt inside me. Its there. Bc i know something most ppl cant even imagine. I love that about my persona now. Im not you. You cant be me. You are something I wnaa know more about… I wana be your friend. I wonder, will u. I am always wondering. I want us all to be friends. That means not do wonother wrong. But mistakes are welcome. Can we just be friends like human family first. Idk if u can. I want that. Do u? Does anybody hear me? Im so lost if not. I love this whole thing but I dont, if not. I just cant even do it… if we cant have that baseline. We are human. We have done so much. We are incredible beings. I am so proud of everything u have done wow. I am one of u. I am just one person. I want u to know how special you are in my life if u are here still now… im speaking to you. I am speaking from my heart and solar plexus… I am you. Do you know how much … you are Human… you are Priceless. I am your motivational manager LOL kidding idk but im always here just for u to know that I truly love u … all. I am. God is. You are. We will… forever… and always… what? Be. I think its be. But we can do more than that. We can be here for each other. I dont wana be here if we dont. I cant understand the seperation. Segragation. Thelost. Iam here now. That should be enough. Hi hello. Yes I am reaching out. I want to say I love you, even tho I might not even know u. But I do. I trust that u will do whatever is best… not just for u… but for all of us. Thank you. I cant thank u enough.

Pry

Vacy. Meaning not vacant. Very unavail. Private. Keeping 

My dog Roxy sat on my wire that was charging my phone while I was texting. I take it as a sign because I see their faces their eyes. I see that the dogs know something that we don’t know you’re trying to tell us to get off of our phones. They want us to be more present. They’re upset that we are looking on our stupid phone so much they are sad by it. They are so sad by it that it’s actually a situation to be acknowledged. Our dogs are our best friends and we love them so much yet we are so infatuated these stupid technology dopamine machine. and they are suffering from it. They want us to know that this is not the way and yet I do admit I still love my phone and researching and looking at things because there’s so much to do on it, but our talks are present time. They are the gifts of now. They are here too give love unconditionally and they’re all we have really. there are best teachers. I am so sad that I am one of those humans who is addicted to the phone. I am addicted to the phone addicted to learning addicted to feeling good addicted to whatever is the next thing that I can do I have such a hard time stopping to just feel even though I have exercise that thank God thank you to the programs that I have signed up to be a but I am definitely not perfect. I struggle with that. It is something that I have to make extra effort intentionally to do just to just even do correctly incorrectly. It doesn’t matter as long as you do it. I believe the dogs are right I can feel that they know something we don’t know. so hard to not at the end of the day going down the rabbit hole. I so much appreciate all the things. All the signs. Leo and Roxy are here with me now and they can’t speak. They can’t say this, but I know what they’re feeling. I know that they are wanting more from us in a way as doggy parents perhaps it’s just so many things might be. Their food I want attention we give them their outdoor activities. I don’t know, but they also do appreciate us for grooming them and loving them the way we do thank you for listening.

Kismet

Hello Beautiful Souls. How was your day? I might get more water now and read some. Meditating has been hard to do but I danced a lot. Listening for clues to all the things Im doing. Tamara la Shamana I know that might be a lil triggering for some of ya but Im feeling the call to be involved with this side of things. Just helping how I can and the direction of how to live life with ease and plant kingdom as a helpful ally. I pray to God and all the higher powers, to help the people on this planet that we share this land with, no matter the country or religion or race, that we all deserve peace and love and food to nourish and respect and care and all their needs met. Basic needs and a life worth living  full of support from all the people of all nationalities. All better friends. Enjoying life. All, each and everyone… a happy life, a hobby, a sport with a team, traveling, learning, a free feeling supported and loved, guided by God and giving yiur own two cents in. Everyone kind like our name says, loving our neughbors, we know now how much that is going to be a better way to play your cards. Its all worth it, each a peace of Peace on Earth. Know how u affect it. I had to look at myself, my ill ways, parasitic like a clown. Its time to clean up our act and face the truth. Sfop whatever needs to be sfopped. Just let it go. Start again w one step and smile in a positive way, pause it… see the mission and world wide hopes. Youre free to feed the rest of us. Love your planet, worth! Earth pause for paz. Frequency check. Heaven inside your body first. I love u unconditionally but please do your best. Kisses… 

Intuition TAMBONATION…

Rivers of tears from my heart to all the people of this planet. Blue Oceans blooming my heart open, the explosion. Preying on you, while Im praying for u. Hope like the Pope, words out my throat. Devine growing our stories way, breathing gratitude and peace, I have to. 

I see a 3 pane fan that needs to be turned on, its Peace. It needs to be activated. We all deserve this piece of it, easier breezy light movememt freedom, we should be able to roam and travel wo any borders and permissions from people who want to control us. Picture us, finger print and stamp on us. Like the air, free, like the movement in water that activated oxygenates and makes LIFE. R u deaf? Old paradigm sucking and leaching from one of us. Or the nature itself. It belongs to all of us. Abundant ants piling together, organizing themselves, systems like solar systems in all of us, energies that energize us! Moving in motivation, money the moon and stuff. Connected to elevate us. Love us, giving, freedom, the real things, in time. 

Stay Great Full my Friends.

I think so.