Their's been another set back... oh you know nothing this hardhead cant take. I have break downs and melt downs but I forget everything once I sleep it off and feel brand new again. Thats why I think God must be on my side... I'm stronger than most feminine girls bc I'm always starting over... I'm always forgiving and even though I dont really forget what happened the exact pain is never carried with me. Its hard to let things go but somethings sometimes are more than easy. I dont feel like I'm getting at what I want to actually say this time. Some people have better luck than me and some have it worse but once things happen to us we all have the fact that tomorrow is a new day in common. I think I have writters block right now. but I have to fight it... I have to reach at what it is I want to say... I have to solve this mystery bc the truth is its been a few days where Im now a little bottled up. Its been an interesting mix of good and bad to happen lately... Im feeling good about where I am though bc I understand and know now more than ever. I feel like even though Ive dissapointed too tooo many people all for different reasons but whatever maybe thats all the same.... that I'm more at peace inside knowing that I have something special to offer. I'm not pretending like I could to be something I'm not. If I feel like crying I will because its just how i feel and if nobody is going to understand, i dont care... but I can give u anything u need, i'm not perfect but I give miraculous advice and I will listen. Not everything in life is beautiful u know, not everything is, thats why I like ying yang bc whatever is ugly has beauty to it... like polution is sad and ugly but its making us all work together more to clean up our Earth otherwise we would all just make a pig stie! Some people have deseases and that not fair... its to make sure we all treat our bodies like a temple and take care of them more. I dont have the answer to everything but I know that not everything is beautiful. Heck, today I looked yellow! ha! yes i swear i looked fuckin yellow today! i need a manicure, my nails are all chewed off from stress with this project for Basel... my nails look like the shapes of black little countries ive never seen before... my index nailpolish looks like Australia my right thumb looks like a tiny United States LOL my left pinkie is sorf of like the boot of Italy with an extra long heel. I'm only 26 but I feel like I am almost in need of a facelift! LOL I got in trouble the other day... I got in huge trouble... so they suspended my drivers liscence. I'm thinking thats a good thing so that ppl can now drive me around since I've always been the designated driver for as long as I can remember!!! So this will make me more of a lady... and I wont have the control Ive always felt I needed, I'm gona have to let someone else hold the wheel a bit, i would have never allowed it if i could still drive. I still dont want to drink, i still do. I want my hair to grow so i can make long thick braid. I have a lot in mind to get the project done and Thanksgiving is around the corner to get in my way ;) but it IS the perfect time to say THANKS! not the perfect time to get fat and lazy with all that food around though!! LOL Can u believe not having a Thanksgiving? well, think about all those countries that dont have that beautiful custom we've got! I think we should think of 365 awesome words and each day be about doing, thinking of one of them,,,, Like Thurs is about giving Thanks, Fri should be about giving someone a massage! sat should be about going on a diet sun should be about going for a long walk! LOL or something like that... maybe we can all pick our own words and in what order and do it every year, like a simple goal a day to make your year more pleasant.
I just got off the phone with a few people... I feel like my moods go up and down in a matter of seconds! wtf! like depressed, then im fine then im laughing then im sad... too weird.
flowers are coming along...
