Thoughts...

I dont want a mansion, i dont want the biggest boat!!!!... all I want is to find the beauty in each of you and FEEL appreciated.

As I rode my bike back from Art Walk Miami I released whatever I could from inside myself. I have crazy anxiety, never been prescribed anything and almost scared to have that possibility bc as soon as I open the door to that access I don't exactly know how numbing myself would really solve things. I believe we are here and its normal to suffer and when I suffer I have almost reached a level where I find enjoyment, I mean I have literally found out that you have the power to dig yourself as deep as you want to go. I think that things should be tampered with, but the anxiety inside me is what makes me me and what I feel is in some way beautiful. I am scared, sometimes. Never scared to do the things most people wouldn't have the balls to do, exactly for that reason... to brake against myself, bc I know exactly what your thinking.

I thought of things and enjoy taking the time to verbalize... to play with the words, to try to express, to put my energy into something that will hopefully define who I am and what I want. I do it for myself, but I do things for u really... I only do things so I can solve my own mystery... (to speak to whomever cares!)... something evolving, and each second in time that I have the inspiration to try to analyze myself I do it so that I can communicate it in general... to share. I want to share what I feel inside bc just maybe you want to know... maybe you don't and thats fine too so why are you even reading this I may ask??? We are all looking for something and I am looking and seeing how sad I really am inside... (saddened by "this n that" which in turn affects me). happy to do the absurdities I do for our entertainment bc I find you all very boring actually. I wont apologize for what I just said bc thats what I just felt in that moment! Always changing remember... I have hope and I hope you realize how much this has nothing of value to you but simply a fact that has tremendous feeling behind it and the feelings are now out there bc I took the time to express them. All I am trying to do really, is be me and share it with you.