In the eye of the storm...

For years I have blogged w no content. Literally, just exemplifying myself and those around me as these misconstrutions (not a word) Just feeling empty and feeling to escape and then lead astray and to a place where I was then angry and everyone or life itself not being better to me. Like, knowing I DID a bunch of good work for a long time and then when Im at this Big tipping point or even before that I was just gona rather throw myself on purpose to fall and roll down the cliff but you know what? I always knew I was gona be ok. Sometimes I put myself in places that are totally in every which way unbelievable... for a girl like me. I am brave. I am showing my own foot as I point my toe and watch it drag across the line or that when u cross, its really alright... Maybe TOM FORD said it best... its just kinda like plain and simple "bad manners to dress ... bla bla bla whatever it was... YES its completely rude in society to have roots growing out and chipped nail polish etc and then THAT was what was interesting, was it not? like Punks spitting or somebody kicking a trash down or graffitti, or whatever else its a lot of RUDEass shit going on. Pants dropped, just MUSIC is a JOKE!!!! get it? cuz I dont care if you do or not bc I already know it is what it is... I am a member of this society. This thing that we all throw into and it echoes out back at us lets say... its the FOCUS that we got lost in... you hear what you wana hear, you go where u wanan go, u like what YOU like, you can be who ever u wana beeee.... YOU are part of this whole thing w me and everyone who we are driving along side w on the roads and crossing paths w on the streets, the bathrooms are all being used by as all, the food coming from the same or similar farms, and the small circle has a bigger circle around it and a bigger circle around it and so forth. Im not better than you. Im not as good as I wana be yet either... Im actually in nowhere land compared to what I expect of myself and others... yes including u. So, its life! we share a rhythm, we all piss and drink water and are effected by bigger things than us like the shared knowledge. I am gona try to relax like its my obligation... im gona enjoy what I have said and good or bad just let it go as YES proof we are all idiots LOLOLOL jk omg... and Im gone hate going to sleep right now bc i dont feel like it. I was trying to HELP ppl all night ... thats what I really do when Im feeling good and my true self. I just want to be in that place to do what I do... I have a lot to do before then and life is going by too fast for me I must be having a good time ;) I want u to Help me out here lol