Oh Nothing.. Just here...

 Ok hey, hiii...

Im fine, I promise! I keep saying that too... so strange yet I really don't want ppl to worry about me. Ok so, I got a fucking job... yup... not that I want to... well, maybee I want to! haha,, well so it doesn't give me a right to be rude to others,,, who lets say, don't have a job... well maybe mayyyybe its as rude as flaunting your success! yes that CAN BE rude. I didn't like it, that one time in band camp ;) I am WE aren't in Band Camp either, neither have I ever even been. I wasn't that infatuated by the little strings on a guitar or my little fingers pressing on the keys of the damn piano... I just wasn't. It doesn't make me a bad person either. Your a bad person, I bet, for reading my blog. Fuck you. Oh wait, we can't be friends again? u mean after we made love all those times??? yeah prob not! Ok fine! Go fuck yourself! Stupid. I am happy, I have some amazing product in my hair, it smells like something .... hahahaha I can't say it.... You'll think Im, racist. anyway, I came here at almost 5am to say something... I forgot what it was.... oh well, I can't even remember! I remember now,,, its that, he's in the bed sleeping w me and he has his back to me.... I don't want him in my bed if he's not hugging me,,,, yes I GOT RULES... Its my "boundaries" lol,,, so yeah NO. Go sleep in your own house OR pay my damn rent so I shutup. Til then, u got me... like dis. Can you handle it? No. I will answer that for U. Like there I did! BOOM. Bada Bing Bada BOOM! Wakata! hahaha. It had to be three of those! I was on a roll today... not an ecstasy just a regular ol' roll... like one after the other... like being crazy all over the town... I took the bus... I woke up mad first of all... I wellll I woke up and had to put the pieces together... and then I remembered I was angry LOL I know its pretty funny but its true... so then I was angry... and then there I was laying naked and alone in bed ANGRY bc I slowly remembered what happened the night before... and THEN I went in the other room and there he was... sleeping... btw I'm not even gone tell you guys what time it was LOL... cuz thats a secret... (I have secrets) (dumbass) SO, he was there, confirming my anger... (((bc obvi he wasn't in bed w meeee hellloooo))))) YA... so Im like awareness seeping in... and so... I love him right,... if I didn't this wouldn't bother me as much. I LOVE THIS GUY... I don't just need to be fucked for the fifth time in the damn sun up.... I want to be held. Even if I have my period! I want say Dumbass again, I had to, so there. DUMBASS. me or him>? not sure who,,, the word needed to go there. I miss him even right this second. I miss you! hellooo can u hear me? I am only human here typing my thoughts... one day we will have the technology that will do that for us LOL. Butttt the guys who can invent it, don't have the best thoughts either ZLOLZ≥ I love U whoever you are. I love myself too... should I have another beer? Im always trying not to... Im like preventing myself from being a complete and total alcoholic bc I know whats right and whats wrong... ok I'm getting a beer... lol...I wasn't going to but then I did... I ate some sweet potato too... u know to balance it... bc I told u before... I knowwww whats good for me. I know a lot by now... Im fucking 36... well =if the number could be fucked,,, LOL how to fuck it? what does that even look like? idk its just another one of my jokes.Sometimes I say terrible shit, that came v

close! but I mostly have incredible thoughts... I like them, mostly, the majority of them. Can u hear me??? Im fucking talking!Who is Jack Custo? idk why that name came to mind right now... idk I dont even know him LOLOLOL. Ok its bc the fucking other guy who is from those Spanish like fables... UGH what the fuck is his name.... dammit Tammy. I suck. Suck it good! lol ok NOW Ive really done it! omg I'm so embarrassing seriously BUT that was my thought! so if I'm going to he true to this game then why would I leave that silly naughty stupid part out? u tell me. So no, I didn't. 

Ive been a bad bad girl....

I HEAR SIRENS... 

MY BODY CRACKS!

WHY IS THIS ON CAPS???

HAHAHAHA 

I must have pressed it.

SHIFT, RETURN.

Fuckin-A

Ok I think Im done now...

Oh no Im not... soooo He is my guy right... I really do love him and he really does love me... Ive been such a bitch tho! I told him to leave and I was kicking like push kick off the bed....; he said nicely "please don't do that babe" Im like WQOW R UUUU POLITE! Polite/Composed/ and fucking AMAZING... is what I shout to myself... I was like kicking him off the bed just for attention btw! ONLY. He wanted to go to sleep... I know u wanna go to sleep but like don't put your damn back to me... I don't NEED to be in a relationship!!!! I mean I actually do need to be in. a relationship but the guy needs to pick up the tabs. This guy has it MADE like MTV W ME. Im over it. He has all the apps... to send me the money. I need your money... not if u don't have money tho... I don't want money from a broke ass nigga... I need money bc u are a very amazing man and u love me and u wanna take care of me. Yes its 2020, I was born in 84 and I didn't burn my bras w those bitches! My mom did! (sip of beer) I love my house, this nigga wants to marry me... I can't even take care of my own damn self good enough yet... go marry someone else! Im like "taken" taken in the LALA Land that Ive been living in for the past 30 years! Im ok I really am aI promise. I am so fine its like just another episode of..... wish I could tell u... 

I IIII

I have learned so much recently... I have learned about myself and about the world and about like well I have just questioned myself... I am questioning it all... I can hear the damn AIR.... white noise... I hear it. and I also hear a high pitched ting, constant tinggggg...... do u? I wana know. So, last night, same thing! he actually went to go sleep in the other room... maybe bc I was being UP and like wanted to sing songs as I was playing them off my phone... stupid phone yes... I was and I did Yes... and so he was like peace... LOL he's very cute ... like I really do love this guy... I just didn't like that he did that... bc I dint want be left alone DUH. I drank too much today... I did bc I want to stop... and like it could be my last day,... but I don't wana promise that yet. ok maybe that right there says I have a problem LOLOL... I just dont want to promise something that I can't fulfill BC it will actually make me feel worse... then its like I have a problem and I can't keep my word! Wow, useless. NO THANKS!

Life is made of MAGICK....

thats like Vag & dick

the woman and the man... its nice to see the woman come first! Am I seeing things>?

Oye chica por favor!