Know Our Power

Ive put a great deal of effort into improving my life and feel like I still havent managed to find a true way to be here and manage it the way its technically supposed to be. Im tired of not getting reciprocated for my efforts as Id like to be in a different place than I am in right now. I can be so grateful for this here and now but its the aftermath of efforts than i here now lie in. And everything has passed and is unalive and gone. Im left with my own left overs of a life once fought for and turned aimless. I now lay in a mountain of my choices expired now uninspired and i hate to say it. I changed bc I freed myself and gave myself some time and forgiveness and time went by, lots of precious time. Im not going back, im spending it, watching it make changes in me and those around me and cant decide what to think anymore of it. I didnt let anyone down I must have chosen this rebellious path thinking I was doing the right thing. I like to write. I dont like it when i do something wrong. Im in bed writing, its my Birthday. Im 40 and had a nice day Valentines Day but this time of year is always a bit stressful and unique to me and my story. I cant imagine it any different that this particular strangeness, its like im a vampire to my own personal quirks, i dont see the difference between my soul and my life story like they are so glued together. The things i do in all ways over lap and connect so im evolving from everything that i do even tho “its not me”, it becomes me and i live wo seperating them or knowing the difference. Its to not compartmentalize and have diff versions of me for here and for there so it might be a mood change, definitely a mood change actually. A mood to create my Mundo, my world. The mood is the frequency your on that affects your understanding! Mood though is your way to give yourself a check in, check up, its the sure signs of some sort of depletion or time to talk to others to hear them for a change, i talk too much, i guess i will listen more, who do I wana listen to? If we are all children here learning and noone can tell me what better than me for me. Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom w me ahead of time. So 40 is here, what can I say? Its like a collection of things, memories, stories and we dont have enough time to enjoy it together, the calendar could be a Call In There to come back around to the ppl u meet, not all friends are on the same level, its more specific and what fucking matters? This is our Power, our Network! Our World Wide Web and we can deal w 8 things at a time. But we gota share the attention span to keep the web slots organized and filed away. One by one multiple ways through groupings, key words, informational database that allows u access to see ppl by job, location, whatever it may be, music taste, diet, hobbies, knowledge… if there is anything this future shit can help us with is that our ppl are our market and not all of us yours only. And we should let them know what we say and frienda can know more if we choose so. We arent for sale unless we are making the world a better place, machine in place for our benefit. We choose. Too bad for u. Thats that. Know our Power.