Flowers and more Flowers

I worked on my project a lot today. Proud to say. I feel like the days go by so fast though! I was really depressed in the morning... like it feels so much better to stay in bed and SLEEP than to face the world and all the stupidity and my dreams are so nice, my bed is so comfy and soft and I feel so happy when I dont have to face the problems that life brings. I know its ridiculous and inevitable but I'm just being sincere. I know that waking up early and getting a lot done in one day feels great too, I know I should wake up and throw on some running shoes and RUN FOR MILES and then start my day... It would make me happy... but nothing beats my bed when the dreams are so beautiful, or interesting or even full of suspense! They are so colorful and creative! They are so fucking beautiful and the problems that happen in my dreams are solved in really hysterical ways, I'm like a magician! I'm the leader of my own road and I get to basically choose where I want to be and for how long, most of the time. With life I dont feel like I have that same control. I received another two letters from Sean in jail... he writes them to "Honorable Tamara Diaz... Democratic..." idk bc they only let u send a few at a time so he cheats the system and acts like I'm his lawyer or somebody in power that hes able to send out more letters. THIS TIME this smart lil boy sent me a letter that had an envelope w his address and a stamp on it so that I have no choice but to send him a letter. I think that was really cute, bc hes right! I should just send him a fuckin letter already!! So, I pulled open my stationary drawer full of the cutest stationary from when I used to send millions of letters to friends when I was in boarding school in Connecticut... its all Hello Kitty and Little Twin Stars and Pochaco and Keropi LOL and I still have two sticker books! so I began to write him a letter... not knowing what to say AT ALL. It goes something like this...

Dear Sean,
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah blah...
Love, Tammy

seriously.

He deserves a hug.
He deserves me to buy him dinner when he gets out
He deserves a clean shower
He deserves a CHANCE.

poor fuckin kid!
UUGGHHH.

Went to my atist frnds place Sean Richwood... I spoke to him about my project and he showed me stuff hes working on while I cut flowers, hes a cool guy, super motivated... I think his head is in the right place for what he does and he def has defined a style for himself. He's a thinker, he has a lot of passion and takes pride in what he does... and hes a hard worker. He's also pretty cute! ;) he's not for me but I think hes a good looking guy. We have worked together on some things and hes also working on a piece now which will be from a shoot we did with his neighbors... cant wait to see that one done. The one he has done I will post up here soon.

Its already 3am, I duno how time flies by me so fast but it is and its a min closer to being DEAD lol. As if I dont mention the topic of death enough... Tomorrow is a new day and I told Sean I would take him to the spot where I shot the water refections so we can video tape it... we want to work on something with that as a video.

Flowers, flowers, flowers, flowers.... pls send me flowers.