http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bUwPdt_ebU what do u guys think? I think id be ready to depart into the next level after contributing such :) honored to have ever even heard this song.

Lavender Lullabye

So supposedly I have to be honest w myself... I wish I knew the question I needed to answer.... I would seriously try to answer it head on and honestly! Im not even scared... I think I can do anything I put my mind to... if u think so too then the next step is taking the next step toward whatever that is. I guess I have never felt I wanted to find that still point inside me... I like the run through thoughts and when I dont like thoughts I have been raining myself to think of what I wnt but I still gota find the still momemnt inside more often and get lost in that a bit, it deserves to be explored :) I am gona be honest about how I feel about myself... so I procrastinate, I do it pretty much everyday about something... what I want gets shoved over to the next day and then a week goes by and its still wanted. Im super independant, love to be alone and then love people also very much but when im alone i dont have to do anything but what i want, how i want it when i want.,,, and ppl always let me down... i hope i dont let ppl down I just wana be aware of what I do wrong more than what others do wrong to me. I have to focus on improving. resolve issues :) not playing the mind games. like feel it and see and let it go... notice the energy when its around u or inside of u that ur feeling... if u stay there w bad thoughts for a while u can feel the enrgy it starts cooking inside u lol and it affcts u, affecting others as well. the waves of energy are like all we are and a whole world of invisible treasures exist there. So when u feel good, grateful, happy, u feel that energy and notice the difference between the opposite the unhappy bad feelings and allow urself to realize u have control over this as soon as u can see it and change it eliminating the thoughts that dont serve u any longer... releasing them from the cage of ur insides... and free of it! its never ending and I can get ticked off over the littlest thing but I laugh at myself soon after... but sometimes mistakes are HUGE and cant be released that easily they keep working their way back in ur head and u keep feeling that vibration and it really doesnt serve u any good,,, u become HEADY and not HEARTy... so ur there for as long as u need to be. I love u :) learn to love yourself like lavendar... lavender is a shade of purple... purple is one part red and one part blue... lets say hot and cold, instead of good and evil... and together we are this Purple color that changes shades as we project our thoughts and feelings as a combined Universe... the lavendar bc it has more light than darkness... thats what we want to look like, at least.

Light a candle in my name...

Im not a fashion blogger obviously, not on this platform anyway, I think Im just too interesting for that. Fashion and art to me are my passion but thats not all I am. I wanted to share that I went to a Psychic while I was in Miami and I was really happy this time with what I heard :) She read my Tarot cards and had some insight on the side about how next year would be a better year for me! I know we have all been waiting for this blog to turn more positive LOL. I am super positive lol I just analyze and share the difficult moments for they atre where I find interest in learning and happy times are happy so why would it be a problem? I dont have time to write about all the happy things that happen... I have way too many ;) So, the lady told me things that she knew like that I had gone to have some issue be resolved and that I never followed through with the procedure. She was totally right! I had gone to a woman when I was completely distraught and asked her to cure me and she gave me some steps to take and do where I would get some water from the ocean and some seaweed and some rose petals and blah blah blah take a bath and then bring her back the seaweed but it sad in my car door for days in a paper bag dry and then I said forget it, I just felt weird doing all this. I paid a lot of money too! So this time its been like over 5 years now and this woman had all good news but she said I have a gray shadow over me and to pay her of course $250 to remove it. Why of course! Well, of course they want $ first of all and second of course I have some gray fucking shadow over me but I am doing now better than ever! Maybe I am used to the grayness LOL. gave me her card, i never went back. Then TODAY I literally get stopped by a lady who says she can feel such a strong energy from me, she was in a silver mercedes w a man and she literally asked if she could talk to me and asked if I had ever been to a Psychic which now looking back I wish I asked her what she felt from my energy FIRST instead of tell her that the other lady saw a grayness! Bc that was like biting the hook for yes your grayness... bla bla bla lol I honestly laugh at these things but I kinda like them lol... I like spiritual stuff and all that bla bla bla w crystals and bla bla bla... im bla bla bla, we are all living in the bla bla bla LOL. so anyway, the lady pulls out huge crystals from her trunk that I noticed werent very CLEAR and clean so I got a bad first feeling about her... dont show me ur dirty crystals woman! She also showed me a Chakra candel with all the colors it was really big but she said for me it would be a bigger one and not one but three! past, future and present, OK. What I first noticed is that when she first looked at me putting a grocery cart back in its place she was looking at my shoes and they look like designer but they are actually from Target! Im aslo wearing a pretty blinged out crystal necklace! CHA-CHINGG $$$$ dollar sign eyes another words! lmao. the guy in the front seat was fat, very fat, she had terrible skin, and I really think this one might be fulla shit and she said her price to remove this would be $375 and I told her that the lady in Miami said $250 and that she COULD do it by phone! Now I wana get this done by a professional and none of these ladies. The lady then also said that if I dont do it in the next 3 days that my Chakra will CLOSE!!!! ummm why didnt anybody come to me in the past 10 years??? This is not the right timing and I thought I was doing great lol??? I do know I have a gray thing on me,,, my heart in my chest feels tight and squeezed at times... she said Im not loving like I can and that I dont even know what it is to be happy yet, um Im not. but Im not sad anymore so I felt like I could carry on... turns out she told me this is coming from a MAN... my eyes got big. The other lady said I have somebody near me who is very jelous and a woman... obviously these ppl could all be a bunch of balony phonies and probably are but now I want to go to somebody GOOD and have this process done for real... so tomorrow is my last day of finals... I need to be focusing on that but just wanted to get this BS off my chest ;) >GRAY GET OFF ME.< light a candle for me. love, Tammy

Creative Short Story... "Finding Rainbows" by TAMBO

I wish u the best...

I've missed u all. I've been the new T but the new me is always at the end me tho.. I don't want to let anyone down I just Wana hold u all up if I could and I can try so why not try harder? I don't want to mention the ways ur unsure of believing in me I want to bring u to this cool place I know that is warm and full of love but believing in life is too generic. Where r my friends when I need them? I'm not interested in my questions answer... I want to hold ur hand and not kiss u but kiss whomever I feel like... The current of the sea is the heart to everything we know. I am concerned with  the current I am giving off.. The rhythm might be mine but I look into the eyes of my best friends and they look dark and I blame myself cuz I know I'm not the equivalent of what I project. I am in part to blame for the worlds disregard for whatever and I'm blowing kisses when nobody is looking. I am more sensitive than u know and I'm an example for what u shouldn't try to be. I just am. I am loving u at the same damn time. I am happy and then some since I didn't want to be home this late.. I'm not paid enough. I'm living in the ego maybe bc I just see myself saying me me me and yet I'm not me in the end enough. I still feel like I let ppl down when I try so hard not to. I try harder than most ppl bc what it truly takes is caring more about urself.. Yea so that my excuse. But I told myself I would try to not have excuses anymore, I said that tonight, I can say things but Yes I Do mean them but they don't come out the exact way since I maybe want a lot! A lot all at once, I'm entertaining but not quite deep enough.. I mean I want u to be happy and for urself and then for me but the happy wish is always true cuz I'm happy so much I just also suffer and want to hold the world up on one shoulder. I don't have a good shoulder. I feel like my grandmother is this woman who is perfect bc I knowwwww how perfect we all are bc of her and she deserves me to show her the love I keep inside for her but also I think about my grandfather, continuously! I am in a place in life where stuff is more real than it ever was! Like I'm to blame for the mistakes in the whole entire world bc I don't and never could justify this segregation. The way we are all kept so separate and today was Thanksgiving so coming together was sooooo needed and I witnessed all of our efforts. I want to be a woman who makes a big effort. I want to be able to raise a family like strong woman do generation after generation. Bc I have my doubts about the way some of us have thus far and I have doubts in generL and I have belief also in what amazing things can be done. I want to be like that bc I believe I can. U are the world and I am just in it. I am OK. I don't want to let ppl down! I want to be able to hold it all together like my grandmother does and did and my aunt Linda tries so perfectly hard and my godmother Deedee might feel like she could blame me for acting out the way I HAv and that's giving off the wrong msg to our youth and the entire time I didn't mean to be a bad example at all! I always mean well. I care. I suffer. I love. I wish. I pray, I love tho and want better things and have a dream! A dream that we would all not cheat each other, be happy and good to one another, that life would be a platform and that our future births of children would outsmart us and teach us the new and better ways of life that exist and that w that movement we could be powerful enough to all come together strong and powerful enough as one to lead us away from the temptations and into the puzzle future we create for ourselves in not only our dreams but our deep hearts and soul. I ask the power Gods to reach out for us and give us a push in the right direction when so lost we beg for. The ocean won't drag u the right direction always and the boat won't last forever but u right now are the most beautiful and well deserved thing that's unknown. Alone is for a reason I guess. I wish u the best.

The 5Rhythms...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mb3e5VpKyA&feature=youtu.be Flowing The fluid, continuous, grounded glide of our own movements. Staccato The percussive, pulsing beat that shapes us a thousand different ways. Chaos The rhythm of letting go, releasing into the catalytic wildness of our dance that can never be planned or repeated. Lyrical The rhythm of trance, we lighten up and relax into the patterns and repetitions of our lives. Stillness The rhythm of emptiness, where gentle movements rise and fall, start and end, in a field of silence.

Long days ahead