A Fallen Drunk…

II think I want to be a dancing writer and all at the same time. Rich Right Spirit, native, world traveler, the curious kind, free, Joking, A network room for growth, the reach above, i love you so much, 10-A-plus! Flying white dove highlight. Starting bright beginnings, swaying visions like vice. (I do that) devide why? Multiply. Stop what cement wells when dry. A greener grass across this path. We stayed in the lodge wake up and prepare to die! Colors are lieying lazy melted together murky waters loitering together…. Entering a fire dance, a range of blues. The wisest why? Blessed yes, knowing otherwise. Looping language repelling regions of thought. Lost for words we dial in numbered secured. Cured. Suddenly, sun burned. Staring at the start we imagined the entire route. Inspired we live out more ways than the one we go about. Flights of feelings, wired w words, wind down in spiralling stairs elevating my perfect soul somehwere. I guess I can kick it, take the cerebral way into my heart. Following God sparks, inspiring my internal spark for more parks wolf clubs dont need Grooming or fruitful tree routes. Re-route! Almost F-Out! Lol or stay and help me to bring in a new lasting Happiness when lost, we have easily been able & found. Finally facing my enemy and even a seeping peace of sound. Owe. It hurts. My little peace I hold. Please can we talk? Who are you? One of my own. Free to fink, free to find, that only an open mind, is the one worth my skills, skull a prize- on. Awarding #888 for all! Breathe the union wise and slow, lightning speed available. 000 un twisted faith festered. See w 3s ups and downwards 🌀 spirals of 8’s in exponents. Bathe in mathematical bubble baths. 

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Dont cry

Time for love Habibi

Happy-p

;)

Or u have been robbed.

Alchemize...

 This journaling exercise helped me realize some things and I wanted to re-write it here. 

I was asked to recall an incident that got me mad and that morning just before then I was quite frustrated by an incident I had to wait over an hour to be seen and was going to be late to my next appmt. I had to put my foot down and stand up for myself bc this was not right for me and I said I would have to come back. Well, I was given ultimatums and fear mongering and still left bc I knew I was doing the best for me not to mess up my next meeting. I was somehow able to get the meeting on zoom and go back to wait for the appt. I chose this incident bc it just happened to do the exercise. I am leaving some details out bc it is private and unnecessary to share. 

When thinking back at this once it was in the past I was first proud to have dealt with it by standing up to myself and my boundaries and my sense of self respect. I made a huge effort to be on time for my zoom meeting and I did the best I could given the time was overlapping. I was originally there at 9:22am and my zoom call was at 11am! I thought I had plenty of time so next Monday I have to be there earlier, Id say 9am. 

I felt good that I was able to go back to my house and having done all that could eat lunch at home w my Costco purchases from the day before. I felt confident, strong and grateful. I knew those fear tactics were wrong.  I was happy to be free, past that difficulty, that I was 100% sober and clean and doing everything to my best capacity. What more could I or anybody else want from me?!

Then I thought deeper into it and realized that the reason why I was 100% sober then was bc I had to be for Probation That was a BIG awareness,,, I might have not been if it wasn't being demanded of me. and then from there it turned into gratitude. I was grateful for my situation and the gift of making me a more aware and clean sober person for my dog, my parents, my community, my zoom meeting, for my path to a better version of me. I realized that was a huge thing to be grateful for. So from being "bothered" I alchemized it and realized how Grateful I am for all of what is happening right now and dunked it in sweet LOVE. 

Find an Agreement.

The only way to win the game is to win ppl over! How? With kindness! You dont force ppl to agree with you, you have to care enough about them to be curious to learn and grow and find a way that is not only beneficial to u but to them as well! Its called an agreement and its like a lost art these days since some person of power says the word and ppl just have to follow it, this is more like a trade deal, a negotiation! Its like wanting to be popular and keeping your followers engaged… you win w them following and liking and commenting on your pics… how do they do that? W your engaging w them… making sure they are getting something out of the relationship, being concerned about their end of the deal not only what YOU GET. This is a huge piece of why things work and why they dont. This is the secret sauce to success! Their goal should be of interest to u! Things are non sensical and worthless wo growth! Keep ppl happy! Its a mixture of what they want to hear and what keeps things interesting… can we do this wo a catch? Can we help each other find our own ways and accept the differences? This is freedom! Letting ppl be w a structure of manners in place. Life is to be ENJOYED! Its better we make JOY than anything else! We all can love each other if we can see each other for who we are, less competition and more family. A restaurant w one table that everyone sits together at, have conversations w your fellow community instead of so seperated and detached isolated yet longing for connection we are. When u meet a friend of a friend you feel u can accept them even if they are not ideally your type of person. All these beings are here for us to get to know and learn something from. Hearing from your same bubble isnt going to bring in any new points. PROGRESS Congress. We are all just lovely human beings trying to survive, programmed to act and think the way we do. Forgive us for we are here to wake up and realize that we can choose a better way and find a peaceful way where we can all live in abundance. We can have more this way. We can be wo fear. We can feel supported in the unity. This is powerful. Everything is sacred and everything is family here on Earth. Whoever doesnt see it is blinded by trauma, by pain, is lacking love, is manipulated by money, will need some time and needs Love to Heal. Forgive. Hold each other. Say nice things to each other. Help each other. W this new mentality we wouldnt need this system, its up to us to stop being too busy to help each other out and hear one another out. With Love all the rest is over. Be well, love all! Live in Joy, Enjoy! I see Bliss ahead! 

Into Positive Self Talk... Switch ON the Neuropathways

 I just want to express how proud I am of all the people who are doing well, living life happily. I am doing the same but it's time to look out into the horizon and move into a new level! My grandmothers are here and I am so happy to hear that bc I need their love. This year I need to give myself some special attention, I will exercise more self kindness! I need a good nights rest tonight before I leave to the Moon Dance, I may do a beach stop on the way up. I haven't been wanting to eat, Ive been juicing a lot. 

Tamara, You have been doing incredible things, you give everything that you do your determination and focus and don't cheat yourself bc you spend your time reading, planning, doing, such impressive choices, I am very proud of you for who you are and how much you give to others and try to help others. You deserve love, forgiveness, amazing friendships that accept you and are excited to be around u. You deserve  your dreams of a peaceful healing sanctuary, a life of adventure, exercise, community, fun, and creativity. ppl will follow you and your bliss. Let's begin by writing about your wins, meditating daily wo forgetting. This time you have for yourself is everything you can ask for! I am here to gently help guide you back to a path where U can be your best you yet. You are adored by many and so necessary here on the quest. You are more powerful than you even realize and yet you are humble and kind to all types of people and strangers you meet with ease. keep doing the best you can. Love yourself more, as present as u can. Please get serious about this year and program and all that life offers you, the opportunities will come and you must take them with a beautiful attitude and a ready/responsive/responsible vibe. You are truly the best, I enjoy having the chance to try to help you reach your next potential. Don't worry but do rest and say your prayers n be in nature. I love you the mostest. 

Let's work on Relationships and Conversations this year. Punctuality, precision, business talk, Shopify, No harsh criticisms, Its like you're our VIP client, we attend to u, maximum service, You are the most imp Project now. Your NEEDS are #1Your emotions must be felt with so you can be at peace. You are so appreciated, loved, safe, you have felt uneasy dissatisfied and sad bc it was leading up to this, learning how to give it to yourself. You just got a special 1-1 coaching where nobody was there to accolade you (you are enough!) There will be daily progress and so much love and laughter and sweetness in your new life. You will have time to read your new books, have your team at Bizcraft and Coachery cheering you on and sharing the magic. 

More Lessons...

 Some of what I learn from is merely in the spelling of the words and diff languages is more knowledge and from more knowledge we can aim at wisdom. We can make some assumptions, some explorations and w that misjudgments. You will never know until you try. Such as this... Freedom is Libertad in Spanish and my initials art TAD lol Liber is like Libro a book, Liber is like Liver the organ, which has the word Life and when your ready for Liberty you can read between the lines, you are now responsible enough to choose well at Free will, wo Fear interference, know the difference, having knowledge with it Wise. You know many Why's bc you asked and cared to know. With FREED-Om we are all able to now stop and be in silence, no lawn to cut or flight to catch, The planet can be in Peace wo the hum of something always on, a Silence, a Sigh now Slower. No rush. No now what? Will a baby still cry? why? if its with its mother. 

I have been asked to meditate on FREEDOM for a few mins daily and I thought I should say how FREE I have been. I chose to chain myself to structure, to find a pattern for survival, I wanted this person to know that I am freeing myself but that I crave also the need to satisfy the opposite. I see that sacrifice we make for love, for motherhood and family as being what humanity does and without that I would get an incredible amount of time that I would need to figure out how best to spend it. I am still young and willing to keep learning and contributing and joining for best results to BEST possibility. 

I felt a lot of LOVE inside of myself today. I spoke it out while driving in the car. I feel free when I drive for example or on a bike or any kind of scooter or motorcycle, also dancing, writing too. Yet I have mostly chosen to complain. I look for what I can fix instead of appreciating the IS. I see that but can alchemize and learn a new groove in the brain, needing a new route as engrained, like skis marked course in the snow through a trail, Its time we groom the garden, we are all skiing in the conciousness mountain. Can we live in Prayer? Everything we do w A-peace-ciation, a appreciation, Great-Full, grateful, Aware, Graceful, that our sounds and rhythm affects, not to bother, to accept our differences, not see each other as interference, and allow Fear in, having Faith instead, Believing in others, that its safe, more than dangerous, that we are good more than bad, that your trust in me allows me to want to Be better, that your mistrust in others is doubtful and unloving and the kind of thing that needs to fall off and fall away and a new leaf will grow from the tree, its a Be Leaf in magic! The invisible indivisible from what's here materially so spiritually we can focus to bring in a new order woman manifested this time, All of you inspired it, its free spirit and ecstasy of love how else do u think we all got here>? Full of Gifts waiting to be noticed! We need to take off the masks of this Masculine Man-unkind More Om-ing no Bombing Wombing, we've been cooking, we need time to rest and nest instead of protest, we have the choice if we are educated and not MAN-ipulated, where is True North when we are always slightly tilting? Join the channel, Wave-length, Ray of light-Radio both heard and seen, indivisible w liberty and justice for all. Take the hit, other cheek, a diff reaction. speak a tear, check your compass w reading glasses. toss the tools aside and feel the ground, find non cement, don't let them pull out wisdom teeth genius'. I prefer mine in. What even for? Not the Fairy or Fair for us. It can't get worse once you know the amount of lies in this business. Humans are many, we come in many colors, Hue-mana, colors of life, like birds of a feather, mystery-us, Love missing, taken from us, to MAN-ufacture more individuals to work for some hiding  King, who are these Leaders such failure. Forgive me if I am wrong. I ask for more love and for good men to stop drop and assume the role of LOVE. & To Heal Thyself.

Be growth Anew…

The most famous chant in the world is the Compassionate Buddha "Om Mani Padme Hum" which translates to "Hail to the jewel in the lotus." It is the mantra of the Buddha of Compassion, known by the Chinese as Goddess Kuan Yin.

💗 💎 🪷 ✨💡

Oh how beautiful the diamonds, pearls and Lotus flowers! All life’s seeds that sprout anew unknown, eggs that have to hatch and birth from  mothers brake of her water. All growing pains, all uncomfortable eruptions that form us into who we are molding us, affected. How from these storms that do pass and settle we are blessed with new strengths we can be proud we have surpassed, landed on another side! 🍳 

Growing pains, painting 🖼️ our lifes picture and growing past what doesnt serve us any longer, even growing into us, we see we are holding the paintbrush! …at last we can feel OMs from others besides just us! Same way we wanted to be helped up or lifted from the murky dark we are now here together holding space on these beautiful green Lily Pads floating on the pond, with Devine Light’s time of on. The Blooms and Pad we Hums. Lotus’ 🪷 & slowly more and more of us! Individually blooming, Ooos and Aaahs Riveting 🐸 while the still of the water (for now) we are in and conciously connecting, affecting... Posting, thoughts splashing boosting our growth in this life. 💦💗💦 Ripples of hearts each time… devine order so sacred the wild in flow the Flowers 🕉️ 💜mmm

Reflecting… REEF-flecting

mmmagic 

MMMAGIC

Expecting Greater Changes

Feeling like Ive been caught up in a trap. Like keeps showing me who I am, certain behaviors that arent me thinking straight, my better self. The shift isnt something im allowed to blame but when we have gone so far and we do want to raise the bar. Starting new doesnt have a picture yet and who am I fooling right? Ran a 5k today but didnt make any new connections or friends w anyone so i soon after left, crowd was young or in family. Not sure what to think of that. Feeling really detached, confused, lonely tonight. I want to be doing better and sure of my flow. Even my parents need me now and wonder if there is any better way for me to go about it. I keep going on but lifes material world is no longer satisfying. Im learning about a joy that outlasts it. But holding on to the past bc its all I have and how do I even let it all just go like that? Id miss it being something i can keep creating with but feels like i should prob brake free of it. Ask how i can be of service to our world, w a record they keep you distanced to be of help. Degrading me and making a waste of me. I deserve to learn more and be of greater service. Almost like I could be a full time care taker for my Father. Then it seems like I know everything feel jaded on my perspective bc its not a new one. 

Im spending time on things that may not bring me a financial boost any time soon. Feel like id love to get guidance but from who and how will anyone know for me its my life i must figure out. Recently ive made peace w the idea I may not be a parent bc its feeling like a lot for me to even get the hang of so its prob better i choose to free myself and travel and persue a cause to help. Alleviate. Find peace. Go deeper into spirituality and be able to have more time for it all, i think im ok w it-?!?! Love is all we need.