A Fallen Drunk…

II think I want to be a dancing writer and all at the same time. Rich Right Spirit, native, world traveler, the curious kind, free, Joking, A network room for growth, the reach above, i love you so much, 10-A-plus! Flying white dove highlight. Starting bright beginnings, swaying visions like vice. (I do that) devide why? Multiply. Stop what cement wells when dry. A greener grass across this path. We stayed in the lodge wake up and prepare to die! Colors are lieying lazy melted together murky waters loitering together…. Entering a fire dance, a range of blues. The wisest why? Blessed yes, knowing otherwise. Looping language repelling regions of thought. Lost for words we dial in numbered secured. Cured. Suddenly, sun burned. Staring at the start we imagined the entire route. Inspired we live out more ways than the one we go about. Flights of feelings, wired w words, wind down in spiralling stairs elevating my perfect soul somehwere. I guess I can kick it, take the cerebral way into my heart. Following God sparks, inspiring my internal spark for more parks wolf clubs dont need Grooming or fruitful tree routes. Re-route! Almost F-Out! Lol or stay and help me to bring in a new lasting Happiness when lost, we have easily been able & found. Finally facing my enemy and even a seeping peace of sound. Owe. It hurts. My little peace I hold. Please can we talk? Who are you? One of my own. Free to fink, free to find, that only an open mind, is the one worth my skills, skull a prize- on. Awarding #888 for all! Breathe the union wise and slow, lightning speed available. 000 un twisted faith festered. See w 3s ups and downwards 🌀 spirals of 8’s in exponents. Bathe in mathematical bubble baths. 

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Dont cry

Time for love Habibi

Happy-p

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Or u have been robbed.

Alchemize...

 This journaling exercise helped me realize some things and I wanted to re-write it here. 

I was asked to recall an incident that got me mad and that morning just before then I was quite frustrated by an incident I had to wait over an hour to be seen and was going to be late to my next appmt. I had to put my foot down and stand up for myself bc this was not right for me and I said I would have to come back. Well, I was given ultimatums and fear mongering and still left bc I knew I was doing the best for me not to mess up my next meeting. I was somehow able to get the meeting on zoom and go back to wait for the appt. I chose this incident bc it just happened to do the exercise. I am leaving some details out bc it is private and unnecessary to share. 

When thinking back at this once it was in the past I was first proud to have dealt with it by standing up to myself and my boundaries and my sense of self respect. I made a huge effort to be on time for my zoom meeting and I did the best I could given the time was overlapping. I was originally there at 9:22am and my zoom call was at 11am! I thought I had plenty of time so next Monday I have to be there earlier, Id say 9am. 

I felt good that I was able to go back to my house and having done all that could eat lunch at home w my Costco purchases from the day before. I felt confident, strong and grateful. I knew those fear tactics were wrong.  I was happy to be free, past that difficulty, that I was 100% sober and clean and doing everything to my best capacity. What more could I or anybody else want from me?!

Then I thought deeper into it and realized that the reason why I was 100% sober then was bc I had to be for Probation That was a BIG awareness,,, I might have not been if it wasn't being demanded of me. and then from there it turned into gratitude. I was grateful for my situation and the gift of making me a more aware and clean sober person for my dog, my parents, my community, my zoom meeting, for my path to a better version of me. I realized that was a huge thing to be grateful for. So from being "bothered" I alchemized it and realized how Grateful I am for all of what is happening right now and dunked it in sweet LOVE. 

Find an Agreement.

The only way to win the game is to win ppl over! How? With kindness! You dont force ppl to agree with you, you have to care enough about them to be curious to learn and grow and find a way that is not only beneficial to u but to them as well! Its called an agreement and its like a lost art these days since some person of power says the word and ppl just have to follow it, this is more like a trade deal, a negotiation! Its like wanting to be popular and keeping your followers engaged… you win w them following and liking and commenting on your pics… how do they do that? W your engaging w them… making sure they are getting something out of the relationship, being concerned about their end of the deal not only what YOU GET. This is a huge piece of why things work and why they dont. This is the secret sauce to success! Their goal should be of interest to u! Things are non sensical and worthless wo growth! Keep ppl happy! Its a mixture of what they want to hear and what keeps things interesting… can we do this wo a catch? Can we help each other find our own ways and accept the differences? This is freedom! Letting ppl be w a structure of manners in place. Life is to be ENJOYED! Its better we make JOY than anything else! We all can love each other if we can see each other for who we are, less competition and more family. A restaurant w one table that everyone sits together at, have conversations w your fellow community instead of so seperated and detached isolated yet longing for connection we are. When u meet a friend of a friend you feel u can accept them even if they are not ideally your type of person. All these beings are here for us to get to know and learn something from. Hearing from your same bubble isnt going to bring in any new points. PROGRESS Congress. We are all just lovely human beings trying to survive, programmed to act and think the way we do. Forgive us for we are here to wake up and realize that we can choose a better way and find a peaceful way where we can all live in abundance. We can have more this way. We can be wo fear. We can feel supported in the unity. This is powerful. Everything is sacred and everything is family here on Earth. Whoever doesnt see it is blinded by trauma, by pain, is lacking love, is manipulated by money, will need some time and needs Love to Heal. Forgive. Hold each other. Say nice things to each other. Help each other. W this new mentality we wouldnt need this system, its up to us to stop being too busy to help each other out and hear one another out. With Love all the rest is over. Be well, love all! Live in Joy, Enjoy! I see Bliss ahead! 

Into Positive Self Talk... Switch ON the Neuropathways

 I just want to express how proud I am of all the people who are doing well, living life happily. I am doing the same but it's time to look out into the horizon and move into a new level! My grandmothers are here and I am so happy to hear that bc I need their love. This year I need to give myself some special attention, I will exercise more self kindness! I need a good nights rest tonight before I leave to the Moon Dance, I may do a beach stop on the way up. I haven't been wanting to eat, Ive been juicing a lot. 

Tamara, You have been doing incredible things, you give everything that you do your determination and focus and don't cheat yourself bc you spend your time reading, planning, doing, such impressive choices, I am very proud of you for who you are and how much you give to others and try to help others. You deserve love, forgiveness, amazing friendships that accept you and are excited to be around u. You deserve  your dreams of a peaceful healing sanctuary, a life of adventure, exercise, community, fun, and creativity. ppl will follow you and your bliss. Let's begin by writing about your wins, meditating daily wo forgetting. This time you have for yourself is everything you can ask for! I am here to gently help guide you back to a path where U can be your best you yet. You are adored by many and so necessary here on the quest. You are more powerful than you even realize and yet you are humble and kind to all types of people and strangers you meet with ease. keep doing the best you can. Love yourself more, as present as u can. Please get serious about this year and program and all that life offers you, the opportunities will come and you must take them with a beautiful attitude and a ready/responsive/responsible vibe. You are truly the best, I enjoy having the chance to try to help you reach your next potential. Don't worry but do rest and say your prayers n be in nature. I love you the mostest. 

Let's work on Relationships and Conversations this year. Punctuality, precision, business talk, Shopify, No harsh criticisms, Its like you're our VIP client, we attend to u, maximum service, You are the most imp Project now. Your NEEDS are #1Your emotions must be felt with so you can be at peace. You are so appreciated, loved, safe, you have felt uneasy dissatisfied and sad bc it was leading up to this, learning how to give it to yourself. You just got a special 1-1 coaching where nobody was there to accolade you (you are enough!) There will be daily progress and so much love and laughter and sweetness in your new life. You will have time to read your new books, have your team at Bizcraft and Coachery cheering you on and sharing the magic. 

More Lessons...

 Some of what I learn from is merely in the spelling of the words and diff languages is more knowledge and from more knowledge we can aim at wisdom. We can make some assumptions, some explorations and w that misjudgments. You will never know until you try. Such as this... Freedom is Libertad in Spanish and my initials art TAD lol Liber is like Libro a book, Liber is like Liver the organ, which has the word Life and when your ready for Liberty you can read between the lines, you are now responsible enough to choose well at Free will, wo Fear interference, know the difference, having knowledge with it Wise. You know many Why's bc you asked and cared to know. With FREED-Om we are all able to now stop and be in silence, no lawn to cut or flight to catch, The planet can be in Peace wo the hum of something always on, a Silence, a Sigh now Slower. No rush. No now what? Will a baby still cry? why? if its with its mother. 

I have been asked to meditate on FREEDOM for a few mins daily and I thought I should say how FREE I have been. I chose to chain myself to structure, to find a pattern for survival, I wanted this person to know that I am freeing myself but that I crave also the need to satisfy the opposite. I see that sacrifice we make for love, for motherhood and family as being what humanity does and without that I would get an incredible amount of time that I would need to figure out how best to spend it. I am still young and willing to keep learning and contributing and joining for best results to BEST possibility. 

I felt a lot of LOVE inside of myself today. I spoke it out while driving in the car. I feel free when I drive for example or on a bike or any kind of scooter or motorcycle, also dancing, writing too. Yet I have mostly chosen to complain. I look for what I can fix instead of appreciating the IS. I see that but can alchemize and learn a new groove in the brain, needing a new route as engrained, like skis marked course in the snow through a trail, Its time we groom the garden, we are all skiing in the conciousness mountain. Can we live in Prayer? Everything we do w A-peace-ciation, a appreciation, Great-Full, grateful, Aware, Graceful, that our sounds and rhythm affects, not to bother, to accept our differences, not see each other as interference, and allow Fear in, having Faith instead, Believing in others, that its safe, more than dangerous, that we are good more than bad, that your trust in me allows me to want to Be better, that your mistrust in others is doubtful and unloving and the kind of thing that needs to fall off and fall away and a new leaf will grow from the tree, its a Be Leaf in magic! The invisible indivisible from what's here materially so spiritually we can focus to bring in a new order woman manifested this time, All of you inspired it, its free spirit and ecstasy of love how else do u think we all got here>? Full of Gifts waiting to be noticed! We need to take off the masks of this Masculine Man-unkind More Om-ing no Bombing Wombing, we've been cooking, we need time to rest and nest instead of protest, we have the choice if we are educated and not MAN-ipulated, where is True North when we are always slightly tilting? Join the channel, Wave-length, Ray of light-Radio both heard and seen, indivisible w liberty and justice for all. Take the hit, other cheek, a diff reaction. speak a tear, check your compass w reading glasses. toss the tools aside and feel the ground, find non cement, don't let them pull out wisdom teeth genius'. I prefer mine in. What even for? Not the Fairy or Fair for us. It can't get worse once you know the amount of lies in this business. Humans are many, we come in many colors, Hue-mana, colors of life, like birds of a feather, mystery-us, Love missing, taken from us, to MAN-ufacture more individuals to work for some hiding  King, who are these Leaders such failure. Forgive me if I am wrong. I ask for more love and for good men to stop drop and assume the role of LOVE. & To Heal Thyself.

Be growth Anew…

The most famous chant in the world is the Compassionate Buddha "Om Mani Padme Hum" which translates to "Hail to the jewel in the lotus." It is the mantra of the Buddha of Compassion, known by the Chinese as Goddess Kuan Yin.

💗 💎 🪷 ✨💡

Oh how beautiful the diamonds, pearls and Lotus flowers! All life’s seeds that sprout anew unknown, eggs that have to hatch and birth from  mothers brake of her water. All growing pains, all uncomfortable eruptions that form us into who we are molding us, affected. How from these storms that do pass and settle we are blessed with new strengths we can be proud we have surpassed, landed on another side! 🍳 

Growing pains, painting 🖼️ our lifes picture and growing past what doesnt serve us any longer, even growing into us, we see we are holding the paintbrush! …at last we can feel OMs from others besides just us! Same way we wanted to be helped up or lifted from the murky dark we are now here together holding space on these beautiful green Lily Pads floating on the pond, with Devine Light’s time of on. The Blooms and Pad we Hums. Lotus’ 🪷 & slowly more and more of us! Individually blooming, Ooos and Aaahs Riveting 🐸 while the still of the water (for now) we are in and conciously connecting, affecting... Posting, thoughts splashing boosting our growth in this life. 💦💗💦 Ripples of hearts each time… devine order so sacred the wild in flow the Flowers 🕉️ 💜mmm

Reflecting… REEF-flecting

mmmagic 

MMMAGIC

Expecting Greater Changes

Feeling like Ive been caught up in a trap. Like keeps showing me who I am, certain behaviors that arent me thinking straight, my better self. The shift isnt something im allowed to blame but when we have gone so far and we do want to raise the bar. Starting new doesnt have a picture yet and who am I fooling right? Ran a 5k today but didnt make any new connections or friends w anyone so i soon after left, crowd was young or in family. Not sure what to think of that. Feeling really detached, confused, lonely tonight. I want to be doing better and sure of my flow. Even my parents need me now and wonder if there is any better way for me to go about it. I keep going on but lifes material world is no longer satisfying. Im learning about a joy that outlasts it. But holding on to the past bc its all I have and how do I even let it all just go like that? Id miss it being something i can keep creating with but feels like i should prob brake free of it. Ask how i can be of service to our world, w a record they keep you distanced to be of help. Degrading me and making a waste of me. I deserve to learn more and be of greater service. Almost like I could be a full time care taker for my Father. Then it seems like I know everything feel jaded on my perspective bc its not a new one. 

Im spending time on things that may not bring me a financial boost any time soon. Feel like id love to get guidance but from who and how will anyone know for me its my life i must figure out. Recently ive made peace w the idea I may not be a parent bc its feeling like a lot for me to even get the hang of so its prob better i choose to free myself and travel and persue a cause to help. Alleviate. Find peace. Go deeper into spirituality and be able to have more time for it all, i think im ok w it-?!?! Love is all we need. 

The Time of my Life...

 Hi all my kind, I just came back from dancing and watching the fire performers at Skate Bird, I took Roxy out and she doesn't want walk to I let her do her slow thing which is not wanting to walk and then I had to drop her back off at home. She needs to walk, she's overweight and I can't get her to move she puts on the breaks and it hurts my back when she does that. Anyway I left her and went on an excursion in the night... It was beautiful brisk Miami weather w a breeze and I am so glad I went bc the fire performers were there and my friends were the band and I didn't even have a drink. If it was up to me I would have BTW but its the government doesn't allow me, Im on Probation and can't drink for 3 years now. The government is seriously sick and the WORST example in my opinion, it's funny I have to obey them when Im 40 years old meanwhile they are bombing and making wars w my hard earned taxes. Seriously not a fan, I think I should leave this country and give up my American Citizenship, this is how I feel. I need a full body massage by a particular strong male who is really fucking good at what they do and it's not anybody I know LOL. Sorry Y'all,,, Im still avail and looking and Im straight in case Rainbow bags have offended you or something. I am so ME right now that Im reading books, writing, doing so much ME TIME that it's like regular society is curious and thinks Im a weirdo for it lol. I am doin just fine my dears, I am working on myself DEEPLY and Its SOOOO imp to just have fun!!! Everything is such a serious ordeal and hassle,,, umm guys, we created this and it SUCKS sorry! Im not into it at all and Im like dancing in the street instead and I really believe that my way is better lol for me and prob for everyone. Working on a new tag line for the brand w a new marketing guy, Making new stuff at the warehouse,,, yes and the fire dancers,,, this one girl does the show at Faena and wants me to make her something so excited. How come I didn't know there was a fire dance show there? I need a real adventure like to the ALPS of the best shit already. so fed up w these losers that make me pay for them n shit wtf seriously. I am a lady! I am an artist! Im not a Realtor assholes. Im supposed to be taken out and everything you pay for. YEA I said it. Its Time. I need that kind of man and if not Im Good, get it? Im Great just me here doing life, my dog, my art, my books, my interests and curiosities and online schools of all damn sorts. I don't want hear stupid shit anymore. I am into the wisdom. I am so there w what's happening w my life, how I am cared for my my angels and I like to care for others too... so I do to my parents whom I owe my whole life to and Im willing to heal them and nurture them and organize them and make sure they laugh for Gods Sake. 

I am so proud of me and so I think Im prob proud of u too right now. Im sure you are doing great things for the whole world and that your way of being is good for whoever is receiving it. 

All the Best,

Tam

Know Our Power

Ive put a great deal of effort into improving my life and feel like I still havent managed to find a true way to be here and manage it the way its technically supposed to be. Im tired of not getting reciprocated for my efforts as Id like to be in a different place than I am in right now. I can be so grateful for this here and now but its the aftermath of efforts than i here now lie in. And everything has passed and is unalive and gone. Im left with my own left overs of a life once fought for and turned aimless. I now lay in a mountain of my choices expired now uninspired and i hate to say it. I changed bc I freed myself and gave myself some time and forgiveness and time went by, lots of precious time. Im not going back, im spending it, watching it make changes in me and those around me and cant decide what to think anymore of it. I didnt let anyone down I must have chosen this rebellious path thinking I was doing the right thing. I like to write. I dont like it when i do something wrong. Im in bed writing, its my Birthday. Im 40 and had a nice day Valentines Day but this time of year is always a bit stressful and unique to me and my story. I cant imagine it any different that this particular strangeness, its like im a vampire to my own personal quirks, i dont see the difference between my soul and my life story like they are so glued together. The things i do in all ways over lap and connect so im evolving from everything that i do even tho “its not me”, it becomes me and i live wo seperating them or knowing the difference. Its to not compartmentalize and have diff versions of me for here and for there so it might be a mood change, definitely a mood change actually. A mood to create my Mundo, my world. The mood is the frequency your on that affects your understanding! Mood though is your way to give yourself a check in, check up, its the sure signs of some sort of depletion or time to talk to others to hear them for a change, i talk too much, i guess i will listen more, who do I wana listen to? If we are all children here learning and noone can tell me what better than me for me. Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom w me ahead of time. So 40 is here, what can I say? Its like a collection of things, memories, stories and we dont have enough time to enjoy it together, the calendar could be a Call In There to come back around to the ppl u meet, not all friends are on the same level, its more specific and what fucking matters? This is our Power, our Network! Our World Wide Web and we can deal w 8 things at a time. But we gota share the attention span to keep the web slots organized and filed away. One by one multiple ways through groupings, key words, informational database that allows u access to see ppl by job, location, whatever it may be, music taste, diet, hobbies, knowledge… if there is anything this future shit can help us with is that our ppl are our market and not all of us yours only. And we should let them know what we say and frienda can know more if we choose so. We arent for sale unless we are making the world a better place, machine in place for our benefit. We choose. Too bad for u. Thats that. Know our Power. 

Blessings to All...

 Loyal to each one we become Upy'all, it's a thought and it is beautiful in my opinion. It's not meant to be funny even though it has a silliness to it perhaps but it is an underlining treasure. I can see potential in ideas that come from playing with words. The spell we are under or I should say I have been under caused by myself unknowingly with no blame but instead a recognizing of our choices and our power sometimes I gave it away I guess and I am sorry if I bothered you or hurt you or if anybody ever did but we are here to heal these past wounds and try a different tune that sees our traumas as gifts for knowledge and growth and lovingly walk each other home like he said... my mind is blanking. what an interesting problem to solve this big giant one we are all a part of, isn't it>?<it is! everything is both now, Nothing is right or wrong and its truly a time to let that go gently forgiving our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. How lessons are MORE beneficial than Correct Answers in a sense bc its a form of exploring experience to become better experts at Sexy Life Making and Sharing and Love is the only way but friendship makes the world go round, doesn't it? To not only love one another but also to have compassion and acceptance for the flaws for they will happen. Even me here trying to think of the best thing to say not only for you to love and accept me like I'm some desperate person Actually not at all, For myself, for the future of humanity, bc I thought well about this and Im learning as Im going, aren't we all? You aren't like me and I don't want you to be, I am very happy to have you the way you are, I could learn from you and Id love the chance to share great moments with you all to be IN JOY Enjoying the present moment and getting somewhere w this ship my dear friend. won't you Say you will sail with me, closer to the here than away farther away, that might just take too much time and We all don't have so long you see..? I hope you see, and feel and know how much Life is also Truth and its Simple, we have created this to survive to hopefully better this place... Im very proud of us! So many incredible humans Id love to hear from. From Thought to Forming Things, Systems, Rules, all kinds of shit and how can we take a second to look at where we are headed and allow time for goodness. Monday comes back around like a loop on repeat and so does money if we can let it flow and see the energetic exchange we are trading and exchanging with... the bottom line is it comes back to us, creating value with a TRUTH to care about one another together>? not one up and compete like cheat and take,,, its like manners, education, a united understanding of clear mission, Motto-Ship. Light and Dark, it's about a lighter load, sharing for a mentality of abundance. You can have whatever you want right? u have it already... so but caring that WE ALL HAVE IT TOGETHER that's how we have more... not as divisive its planetary, its mathematical, scientific, historic, anything but Horrific, bc its impossible for it to be Horrific if we are all together on it, I think. It's so difficult for me to get along w some people, and just at least if we can send love to the ones that need it, sometimes those are the ones that need it most. I am one of those people, So everyone is, at some point. So flawed myself w awareness and then expecting a better planet is not how these far out things get solved, I believe our children and next generations need to be protected and guided better and pollution doesn't need a poll to ask who wants it to stop. we need more rules against THAT than against humans, Taxes are to be used for the things that Government is allowed to be on control of not to go outside certain lines other wise this self interest CONFIT is Counterfeit and Fuck your dollar its that against LOVE and we have the power! why are we so comfortable and dead to see that? Im not trying to take away your money and things Im trying to let the ones who are doing things that are wrong for their benefit that we are on the same team-ship, why don't we be friends? We fried instead of tried! we haven't tried yet. we have tried to make a life in a system that is just as unpredictable as a bear coming to eat me! w car accidents, and whatever video game like massive weaponry being used is just not a way to solutions. sunlight and Us and sharing that in peace is a better plan for final result why are we creating deeper caves and bigger walls and more hate than where we were headed before? Your before and my before is infinite and we keep on brother and sisters, like spirals in shells, don't make this a living hell. Lets walk out of this every new day feeling better than before, its up to us to fill our hearts enough to give out, our minds could use some space and declutter a bit, go in, find that box of crap your hiding and go through it lovingly and give things away. more than things we need each others smiles, warmth, invitations, likes, comments, time, understanding, forgiveness, its the most valuable thing we can give right now. Things aside, our needs are connection, next best maybe food? but ALL should have basic needs met and almost a PHucking Fone!  bc we need a head count on phones... if some aren't being used release them or fixx them for those who want one or in need of one bc its like food now almost and Im about to say I don't want one but how will you ever find me if not? better hold on to it then. Im not worried, I don't want you to worry now either, how can I take your worries away? please Tell us, so we can correct this battle field called distorted Heaven on Earth. Know and believe in this process of evolution that connects us, binds us and how we can always choose. Choose Wellness. Mother Daughter, Spirit, Sacred and when you bless yourself this way it's upside down and ends at the heart. from Mother we came and Daughter as the sun in solar plexus, spirit instead of Holy bc it was sex that got us here nobody is so Holy to continue our species... and Sacred,,, at Heart... It's just because I like it. And all that is said to come from the heart... spelled instead of expelled ... connected not by the neck on the phone but from the Heart... Be More, Be All....