Thursday, May 23, 2013



Crazy ideas (old post, posting #now

Bubble wrap walls bubble wrap floor-installation... Maybe small and wear a straight jacket as a ride and project that sound as bounce on walls.. But who has the energy wo given a reason that can only get personal. But since everything is aimed to be disposable to make "the world go round" create a need for things we don't cuz we don't need anything, some don't know that but it's fun so a bubble wrap everything... Comforter for bed.. That means u get a diff texture once they all pop so maybe u buy a new one... Ppl love to pop so they can think back at those memories... Bubble wrap collection, now it's already made in diff colors. Why? So what can we do to it? Well science can make them get air again alone but who cares... It's a good laptop cover if they did invent that, like q-tips and band-aids that got the name now from the brand. Not sure they knew that was coming. So we use it to move, wrapping every breakable thing in it, bubble wrap can be a theme cuz putting it on the floor of a club where kids really wana pop every bubble, why? It's just something to do. It could be a print, prob already is but that's not good enough... So I thought if u paint it but that's wak, so layering it so its more than one layer now.. How many layers it takes til the layer that doesn't get popped or weight equation. Or one that doesn't pop, like stronger, or to play w that texture, maybe u wana try the style that pops for something super light. This is soooo silly, like a whoopie cushion! But that's like a water jug, in the desert it's worth a lot.. Survive. Bubble wrap could be a whole pop up store, book covers now I need the stuff in metallic and in different shapes... Cuz someone is being lazy... If uggs made a new bubble ugg and they did it right whoever is daringly cool should buy them.. So make them very expensive now u have ppl that think wow about this shitty idea that won't happen but it COULD replace studs lol or be mini piƱatas. This is what I love to do... I wouldn't wana contain it cuz I also think its truly unlike anything I have ever seen or heard and that's a big reason why I actually DO now, finally, give myself some crazy credit. Award goes to... Craziest bitch award is somebody else tho. Sorry to be so annoying sometimes.. Super heavy overload heavier than a trick of hay.. So what would u say it is? 

Reminiscing is a good word for it

 Back here to apologize for anything and everything. Why the fuck am I like this? I seriously duno but who reads this anyway? I hope u won't judge it's pretty much not normal but I enjoy writing down my thoughts that's more comfy than talking and lots of this is super duper retarded. Been going out of control a tenny bit. Omg u know what I did... In NYC when I lived there I went up to Terey Richatdson the photog, it actually was a dare.l had a pretty big prob when I lived there. I thought I was being watched by stalkers, cuz I really did have stalkers but I'll never know if I was right or delusional. I told some friends and they thought I was nuts or course lol. I wish I didn't go thru that weird shit. 
I'm not feeling well. I moved and should could do Runyon (a hike super ridiculously close) everyday. Taking 3 classes.. And really actually trying so I feel overloaded meanwhile I'm looking for a steady job. It's been super hard! Just in retail dude wtf and prob bc they do a lol research on me and it appears to b whatever. I often think to delete my blog. Besides that I do these things that are only pffff it's like I don't know when things will b cooler for me bc I do really good for a whole an then I sorta blow it somehow. I hate talking about myself. 
My face does things nobody else 
It's midnight, I should be a good Cinderella.. Duh. This past few days have not been good at all I am so mad at myself! I kinda wana go away but idk where I wana go. If I still had " Rancho Chico " this house. I would go THERE! Haha I swear :) I've said this b4 but I used to dream about being a big girl and bringing my friends and being able to make dinner at home, go in the pool, show (these friends lol) the beaches. So many! The little towns u eat paella and its in a huge pan and u eat under the grape vines chiringuitos they call them. I just remember I brought a friend lol wow yea as a teen, but it wasn't prepped to enjoy like usual. Think the pool was green, and ongoing no hot water lol we took a shower outside and I have a picture of it, that's a main reason why I can remember that, thanks mom for thinking of capturing that, it's the kind of pic u put in a slideshow of ur life like when u get married.. It's all the happy times, memories r so insane.. They can after get distorted. So the plants got watered thru the type of irrigation system that was a simple little like river that the water could flow thru. It's pretty neat to learn the details. Wo that lil river thing it woulda ok prettier. More natural but this was a smart thing somebody thought of... Could it go underground ? Probably but then it's hard to see if the water is being watered correctly LOL. So the family that took care of it was another big impact on making me the humble cultured person I am... We would have an outdoor feast and talk to them and they thought America was so "far away and amazing" 
Anyway, super tired.
I have to get some sleep. Darn 

Wednesday, May 22, 2013


Lovely little ants crawling over a baby pink hill, the sun shining bright, the smell of salt lingers. Then here comes hot pink, theirs a piece of chewing gum that fell from the sky. the sky baby blue w moving white poofs. what about writing from left to right, what about it? spray some collagen on your face, its dropping down. spray a tv image, over these screens. im not always fucked up, i am a flower, it wilts and u water it, its alive again. the eternal one that one day will die like all things that live. I love u like pound, # without italisized It should be an asterix * maybe. All the things we do, all the things we say, all the money in the world. all the grains of cotton, all the grains of wheat, all they all, get eaten and digested how do i accept, how do i prove myself to u.. i dont know how i became this way,,, maybe its that I exercised being strange that im stranger cuz everything needs exersise so whatever u work on gets more light/credit, but these thoughts of light equal lots of dark,,, the dark is history, tho some of both is night and day and how it goes. i dont mean everything i say, u know.. I dont mean to hurt u if i did. I dont need to hold ur hand to know ur there. i dont think i need anybody but then i get lonely, how strange. I wana hug the colors, i wana be in balance, i wana be a good example, but ppl who r good examples dont say these things bc its just showing my weakness so being a pretender is what we look up to? holding it all in is better than letting it all hang out? who says? and why? if everybody did this then i BET U i wouldnt. I bet u a million flowers... a million eternal ones.

Ppl r ppl...

So it is so crazy..
It could happen
Ur not really that happy
U Actuually


SEE U never again. U can't stand it. 
Ur the worst. Prove us wrong lol


Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Scaredy Cat

I woke up from being tired, overwhelmed,  I don't think I belong in places that aren't good for me, I would love to contribute but also love to just enjoy my time... I love to sleep more than anything cuz it's a pretty cool ride I take. I don't want to say me me me but that's all I know. I hope u understand. I don't really know what I'm talking about but love is that answer I'm searching for. We work really hard, for all these things and then when u have it all u don't want any of it. Realize that we .
I take back some things these days.
Would prefer to be somebody else a lot of times
Not easier just seems it
Not worth explaining just frustrating 
Really really 
I beg for understanding and cleansing the  
Order the person I am is too good so it sufferes. What would u do what really matters?
I know theirs a good part but I gota Persue that, the work that it is to solely just be... I'm ok but I can be better 
I want to so bad but probably scared of it.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Beautiful days :)

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Too many children...

Hello place I come to,
Just boredom will depict so much from someone!
Not bored tho!
I am super happy w myself
I am hugs & kisses to all the wrong and right men lol
I'm just a happy girl
I just see color.
I've been looking for a steady job tho..
No luck
I've been applying at all sorts of places, cuz being turned down means try something else!
I actually want my own store
More than anyone
I want to control something
the creatives
& where the creatives
What? Do u Expect?
I want to be my own world...
It's a world within this world...right!?
One that I see
One that's seen, n here..
An avenue
I know everything is becominggg

I take a lot of this back...
I know that,
breathing is Necessary..
Just worry about yourself
They are worried,
We are
They said.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Hey Jude

Better better better better better hooooo!
Hey Jude! ;)

I'm home safe.

A lot of energy being thrown out, the youngsters they have so much energy,

I think we should sneak some chill pills in all the food, chill everyone out! """Lol """
U really think they would do that?
That couldn't be...
Cuz I never thought

Must be some sorta mistake
Must be
Move on...
I can't try to improve alone, their has to me a jolt for momentum...
Cuz I'm counting on u guys, looking for the bees to help, where r my friends!?!! ;)

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Mi bebe,

It's so late or so early! Sometimes the only thing I Wana do is write on my blog, in my blog it's mine and never lost. I guess that's the reason. I am just now falling asleep as I write this... I am trying to cuddle up to Roxy and she's snoring and she feels me loving her. I see all the people and wonder where they come from! I see all the people and see the different forms of beauty in every single one. I feel my eyes roll to the back of my head when my children ask me something. My children that are coming I guess. I feel a tension right below my cheeks, like pushing me to exercise a smile. I send u love. I am happy to be who I am. I am happy to finally feel like I fit in this wetsuit. I feel who Roxy is and why she is so damn special! It's cuz of how she was raised, by Paul a lot... He's a lover, I made her tough and he made her the love I love her for. She is what we brought her up to be... She's a cutie pie baby boo boo. I wish she could understand! I'm obsessed w Rox so much so much, I'll do pretty much anything for her. Mi bebe!

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Coachella 2013 inspiration style pics...

Coachella 2013, too bad I didnt make it this year... I was going to work a booth for a friend selling art but they sold out and never contacted me when it was time to plan that week! I was gona get a free ticket to work a booth on Saturday and I thought that was a good exchange but anyway... More than the music I wanted to take pictures of the fashion. I love what festival goers wear to these types of things and I find street style very inspirational. I was excited about this!!!! I wanted to snap up some pics of my own but here are some I found online from different sites that I want to share with you...

Me Gif ;)