Reminiscing is a good word for it

 Back here to apologize for anything and everything. Why the fuck am I like this? I seriously duno but who reads this anyway? I hope u won't judge it's pretty much not normal but I enjoy writing down my thoughts that's more comfy than talking and lots of this is super duper retarded. Been going out of control a tenny bit. Omg u know what I did... In NYC when I lived there I went up to Terey Richatdson the photog, it actually was a dare.l had a pretty big prob when I lived there. I thought I was being watched by stalkers, cuz I really did have stalkers but I'll never know if I was right or delusional. I told some friends and they thought I was nuts or course lol. I wish I didn't go thru that weird shit. 

I'm not feeling well. I moved and should could do Runyon (a hike super ridiculously close) everyday. Taking 3 classes.. And really actually trying so I feel overloaded meanwhile I'm looking for a steady job. It's been super hard! Just in retail dude wtf and prob bc they do a lol research on me and it appears to b whatever. I often think to delete my blog. Besides that I do these things that are only pffff it's like I don't know when things will b cooler for me bc I do really good for a whole an then I sorta blow it somehow. I hate talking about myself. 

My face does things nobody else 

It's midnight, I should be a good Cinderella.. Duh. This past few days have not been good at all I am so mad at myself! I kinda wana go away but idk where I wana go. If I still had " Rancho Chico " this house. I would go THERE! Haha I swear :) I've said this b4 but I used to dream about being a big girl and bringing my friends and being able to make dinner at home, go in the pool, show (these friends lol) the beaches. So many! The little towns u eat paella and its in a huge pan and u eat under the grape vines chiringuitos they call them. I just remember I brought a friend lol wow yea as a teen, but it wasn't prepped to enjoy like usual. Think the pool was green, and ongoing no hot water lol we took a shower outside and I have a picture of it, that's a main reason why I can remember that, thanks mom for thinking of capturing that, it's the kind of pic u put in a slideshow of ur life like when u get married.. It's all the happy times, memories r so insane.. They can after get distorted. So the plants got watered thru the type of irrigation system that was a simple little like river that the water could flow thru. It's pretty neat to learn the details. Wo that lil river thing it woulda ok prettier. More natural but this was a smart thing somebody thought of... Could it go underground ? Probably but then it's hard to see if the water is being watered correctly LOL. So the family that took care of it was another big impact on making me the humble cultured person I am... We would have an outdoor feast and talk to them and they thought America was so "far away and amazing" 

Anyway, super tired.

I have to get some sleep. Darn