Keep Smiling Under The Mask

It’s such a strange peek-a-boo time for the kids today. My eyebrows go up. I wonder what kind of magical powers they will get from this experience, so many non expressions. Enhanced eye reading? More attuned to energy, body, truth! Watch out! This is so next level ~Strange~. At least we have ways to see this with and yet we looks like blanks… who was complaining about having to smile when you see somebody? That wish came true. & The one I made about not wanting to go to work everyday came true LOL… I mean, just saying… be careful what u wish for! This is a strange manifesting reality game and we r in it TOGETHER even tho we r socially distanced make sure to talk powerfully about our future, cautiously watch BS mainstream media news and really hug and smile with the ones you can. Think of what you DO want more than complain about what actually is, find the energy in your body change reaction through different ideas… then communicate your dreams through writing and with others with the best description words to whom will appreciate (me). Lets share dreams and forget the fears, they are so passé anyway 😉. 

Lions Gate…

Portal… it’s today and so makes a lot of sense all that sleeping I needed etc. 

Check my temp

With so much to say but better not to say it. I’m not a young thing anymore I guess, I thought I could still get in but I mean they r just doin their job lol. I didn’t take care of myself enough today… I do more often than not. I wish u were here, it’s kinda late, I should get some sleep. Being of service… humankind, even as a ghost, like just being of service as close to full potential as possible, it’s what we should aim for bc it’s being useful, being unlesfish, doing what is needed from us and somehow if we knew what we were doing the better, what’s now offered is maybe not even financial but if it is it’s better. When things are needed of u it’s prob just not the …. Your business. For me it’s like an angel off the charts good deed. I guess I have to care to organize my value better. I know, I realize that.  I was talking a lot lot lot like I might as well own a parking lot. Just saying… I wanted to come back here and say that… I sorta wish I would shut the f up already and realize how I should always be shining and healthy and as great as I can be… so what happened was I lost my phone in my house and for sooo long I could not find it! It screamed Loca. I was so upset tho! I was like losing hope. Then I found it on the washing machine! Ugh. Can u believe it? So that’s my excuse… for getting extra weird bc I’m like that… I try so hard and then I fail maybe but it’s bc sometimes I outsmart myself. I think I might have the world record for losing my passport for example and then guess what… it’s exactly in the best place ever I just forgot to look there.. what do u call that? It’s just “not there yet” kinda stuff and she is good, organized, but she’s not that great at normal things but bc she’s sooo good she’s actually too good for her own damn self which is the same as how she lives in the moment… whatever it is… dude… she’s not selfish enough. Comes down to that. Comes down to responsibility… but in the end she just ends up suffering more bc she doesn’t want to be firm enough w her self, her life, she’s in the moment giving of herself and she’s too nice. It’s just a flawed person but maybe not, idk. It’s important that I get more serious w myself and my time. I have a headache. I’m not doing so good but then I am and then I’m not… I’m seriously sick of it. I don’t want to admit it but I have to. I just really think we can do better. I do, I fall, I am not feeling well guys, nobody’s fault but mine. I wish I was more normal I think but here is the struggle.. if I pass out now I won’t even realize I miss a person, a body, an actual warmth and imagine … it’s cuz I’m cold or something I don’t want what I don’t want lol I want … I want it all or nothing, I think. Super miss u love u and 

Nothing never mind.

In a Tetris Maze

Absorbent, reflective, autonomous, promiscuous, concerned, cul-de-sac, judge mental, heavy, frou-frou!, feather. Boa constrictor, Burlesque, bow tie, tuxedo, irritable, mustache, chartreuse, pungent, lift off, pigment, milk the goats, whales, wheels, why not. 

Symmetrical, anonymous, loving, caring, the train, signature, just words, mesh, veils, turnips, trumpets, 

Exhausted and miss u! Bumper cars for the streets. Twirl Angel hair w a fork in a spoon. That’s how it’s done. 

Momentum

Why is my breathing deeper than most? Lmao wait, stop, I can’t even do this.  my big deep breathe and even hold it while somebody barely even breathes… what is wrong w ppl? even when I ask them to breathe w me… they do but they didn’t go there… DOES IT MATTER?

 I heard somewhere that when I truly LOVE I will stop asking why… maybe bc I won’t care to know why anymore. So fucking pissed.

Syllables. Sounds, what if they mean different things? Bc they do so much. Energy, meaning, not only energy but the manifestations are tied to visualizations. Dude, I’m sorry,,, did I not already say that? What is fucking wrong w ppl tho? Ugh it’s so hard to express… I want to be a walking prayer, a better understanding of the past, I am to outgrow the old and do the new but by having my own opinion. 

My dog Roxy is so sweet and amazing. Since she was little I have been preparing myself for the reality that nothing lasts forever, hate to say it. Why do some things seem so real and far fetched? Like a baby out of my vagina is just unreal now. Cuz it’s not a clear thing. I feel like a little bit of a waste of a person if I don’t get to be a mom… 

Whatever it is, it’s my love… w no place to go! 

So funny right? I can’t breathe