Thursday, August 23, 2012

I dont wana loose... :)

I get everything from nothing... I dont have to try harder but if I did imagine... Its all everything. Gona re-type a journal writing, from just now... It said.. "I just really want & know I can travel to see, & find things... (Do...? lol) the things that will work with what mindset is now OR NO, but will soon... penetrate... Im just excited! & yess worried bc everything will become ONE in this aspect too so TREND WHAT? IDK. HAS TO. HAS TO. INTERESTING. I shared my deepest thoughts, again. Who cares, again. :) Im happy if u r.

I think GOD is trying to give me a PEN N PAPER,,

The next song... telling me to stop typing? I wana type... YOUR UP... You'll Get DOwn.... your gona run in ircles, everyone knows ur trouble cuz u read it in a BIG BOOK... JUST REMEMBER ALL THE THINGS>>> WE TOOK TOOK.... "The look" Metronomy GET UP, n we get dwn, always running aound this town... n everyone THINX were trouble.. we didnt eald it in a BIG BOOK... shake shook shake shake shook shook... blooom blammmmm blooooommmmmbliiiieeeemm blum bluuuooonneeeaaaaaammmmnnnnn.... this this this.... dadadadadada dadadadad dadadadadadada dadattttattatatadaddayadydayayyayaddada 'GET UP NO U CANT GET DOWN GET UP GET INLOVE CUZ GET UP n then GET DWBN...IHT? I havent been practicing my typing skills bc My job entails of turning the page... remember... or lugging around really heavy things on my back... yea, mainly,,, but whatverrr... i barely work for all the ups and downs and beauty and confusion and apparently what does not get written in this bloggggg... DID U REALLY WAAAAAAANT? whaaaaant? beautiful

Monday, August 20, 2012

A def boy suddenly hears MUSIC...

"Absolutely. It's a sound I'm long familiar with and nothing else clears my mind better than absolute silence. The normal brain processes five senses at once so when you take one away you give yourself more processing power for the other senses. If I have my hearing aids off for more than a couple hours my vision gets sharper and I start to feel even further away. Most times I can feel someone walking up to me but if I've been in silence long enough I can feel them approaching from even further away. When I'm enjoying truly great food, I turn my hearing aids off and close my eyes so the only sensory information I get is the taste of the food. I turn my hearing aids off when I write, golf, wakeboard, rock climb and almost everything else. I only have them on for music or talking to people. I actually feel bad for hearing people; I wish more people could experience the power and peace of utter silence."

Saturday, August 18, 2012

I want to move fwd...

Lots of lost ppl around
Lots of things I don't care to know

I wana move fwd

I dnt wana live in the past

I wana be free and happy again

I'm happy when I'm not reminded,
Or some things get me off track.

I don't wana know some things so I had to delete some ppl again.

I can't handle the lies

I rather go on my own than be miserable sitting still...
I wana move fwd.

I know that he's out there

I know that theirs lots of things waiting to happen

I dnt do things the same way u do

Gona move fwd now, gona stop looking your way, gona move fwd,
Going away...

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Rainbow Tambo...

The repeating patterns

I can't control.
I don't want to fall in
To a boogie trap

I see them and I don't see them
My eyes play tricks on me

My instinct foggy

I know what's right
I know what's wrong
I still step in
To test the waters

I don't understand

Nothing makes sense when its there
And then it's gone

I wish upon a star
11:11 always on time
333 prevent me
Knowingly I make the wrong

Business minded need the knowledge
Have the inspiration
Creative I spit
Just want to make sense
Of the days that pass by
The seconds don't wait
I sit wanting wishing
But things don't come easy.

The wrong idea
The whole time.
Who's fault is it?
No no not mine.

So naive n so pure
So puzzled with wit
Begging for answers
Telling my story
Cuz so reassuring

Then comes regret
And then I see lies
Cuz the truth I once told
Is told in disguise

No one to lean on
Too strong to agree upon
I knowingly make those mistakes
Ok agreed on

Facing the fear
Fears that grow worse
Each mistake a stone thrown
A bigger pile
To live with

Taught myself to never let go
So here is the trouble I'm in idk

When feeling pain
I said remember this again

Cuz I saw how I forgot
And it's only important to remember
What's pretty
But pretty I love
Pretty is ok so I let it go
What sticks is what's not
Cuz I think about it more
When repeating a thought
Makes an imprint
Did u know?

Distorted in fact
Holding on to sorrow
Bc at that time I held so tight
I wanted the same feeling tomorrow

When words are a story
And hold each other together
Complicate your life
What stupid ideas
To remember what's wrong
Now look at the punishment
It's imaginary walls
U belong

Let it go
Let me live
Pardon me & forgive
Speaking my thoughts
Don't hold them hostage
Let them pass
Like clouds in a storm
The rain, then the sun,
Rays of light
New life after

An Installation piece ..

Classroom desks in a big circle
Rows of them beyond if so..

In the circle center gold coins
Sacks of money

A grocery cart that goes around it full of recycled bottle and what not.

On each desk is written a message

An interpretation

You can write what u want too

U can push the carts around in a circle
Or change anything about it u rather see
Like stacking desk eventually
Or using what's there to create our utopia from what we were given

Just no rules but what I first envisioned bc the goals r all screwed up and the fear is on the streets in the foreground of a chic store

Don't wana sound negative,
Just an idea waiting to flourish

Maybe just turning the desks around makes enough of a concept

I want to make something beautiful

That's not it.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Been on vacation...

Did NYC for about 10 days, now in Florida and Tom I'm headed back to LA.
I have so much to say but tonight I just want to post about some advice I took of things I should write down about myself...
I went over my "good qualities" and made a list. I recommend u do this too!
Then a list about "what makes me a good partner" and supposedly you should repeat this list daily so that's why I want it on my blog so I can come back and add to it as I feel and repeat it...
I wrote that...

I'm fun to be with
I'm easy going
I get along with all types of people
I'm adventurous
I like challenge
I'm interesting
I give good massages
I'm beautiful, smart & talented.

Then I had to make a list about what I want to change about myself...
I wrote that I am...

Short tempered :(
Want to be more kind bc I can say hurtful things :(
I want a consistent rhythm of life
I want to do more thoughtful things
I want to love more deeply
I want to be more of a woman.

So I'm supposed to tackle all that!

Do this for yourself to find where you need to improve and set some goals to change or know your worth.


Wednesday, August 1, 2012