The repeating patterns

I can't control.
I don't want to fall in
To a boogie trap

I see them and I don't see them
My eyes play tricks on me

My instinct foggy

I know what's right
I know what's wrong
I still step in
To test the waters

I don't understand

Nothing makes sense when its there
And then it's gone

I wish upon a star
11:11 always on time
333 prevent me
Knowingly I make the wrong

Business minded need the knowledge
Have the inspiration
Creative I spit
Just want to make sense
Of the days that pass by
The seconds don't wait
I sit wanting wishing
But things don't come easy.

The wrong idea
The whole time.
Who's fault is it?
No no not mine.

So naive n so pure
So puzzled with wit
Begging for answers
Telling my story
Cuz so reassuring

Then comes regret
And then I see lies
Cuz the truth I once told
Is told in disguise

No one to lean on
Too strong to agree upon
I knowingly make those mistakes
Ok agreed on

Facing the fear
Fears that grow worse
Each mistake a stone thrown
A bigger pile
To live with

Taught myself to never let go
So here is the trouble I'm in idk

When feeling pain
I said remember this again

Cuz I saw how I forgot
And it's only important to remember
What's pretty
But pretty I love
Pretty is ok so I let it go
What sticks is what's not
Cuz I think about it more
When repeating a thought
Makes an imprint
Did u know?

Distorted in fact
Holding on to sorrow
Bc at that time I held so tight
I wanted the same feeling tomorrow

When words are a story
And hold each other together
Complicate your life
What stupid ideas
To remember what's wrong
Now look at the punishment
It's imaginary walls
U belong

Let it go
Let me live
Pardon me & forgive
Speaking my thoughts
Don't hold them hostage
Let them pass
Like clouds in a storm
The rain, then the sun,
Rays of light
New life after