A piece of a puzzle...

As I make a list to get myself out of the funk of everyday life I notice that my list isnt really that long and that it just needs some time to focus. I beat myself up about the little things and they amount to something big and I'm not sure what happened these past couple days but I blame it on my broken pinkie toe haha. Well, nothing really bothers me... like sharing posts and getting no "likes" ;) I havent been posting on this blog bc its turned into a personal matter. I have so many things to keep track of and I dont wana have any rules here. People are buying interest is what Im getting at, paying for followers or for likes... Its all over Twitter, Instagram, even Facebook has a way to advertise... I'm not clear about what I'm selling LOL. I used to think this was fun, that it was easy... now its just a pain in the ass trying to keep up. I mean, jk bc its fun for me to find something and post it or take a picture of where I am and find ppl w the same interests through hashtags... I understand it... Im a part of this society... I heard our history is being erased btw. I didnt sign the waiver! People are in a band, Ive been looking deeper into that from seeing some shows with Paul and how a not so pretty girl looks on stage when she played a shaker and the little round lights skimming the dress as the circle the room and her sequins throw a shine... It takes a lot of practice, a lot of passion... I never had that but when I look at it now I guess I saw it with these eyes. It always looked like a lot of work and if you think about all these musicians in town and how they go from band to band or maybe even play in 3 at the same time... its like Wow! Do they just wana play? or are they waiting for something to HIT? Its like everything in life but being on stage and playing in unison songs that you have practiced over and over and to feel that power, ppl listening, and then its done, it makes one proud, no? Its more interesting than painting bc its a team. Admit it, painting you can get lucky, nobody has to know the truth. I would like to find the team, a team of more than friends... I dont have that. I know more about myself than ever before, I know what I'm good at and also my weaknesses... I think we all should fit nicely like a puzzle, we all belong somewhere and with that feeling of belonging is where we excel. I hope you understand.

Huntington Beach day...

So much to say yet no words right to say it, like catching the train of the thought, i forget what Im talking about all the time. Went to Huntington Beach today for the first time, super chill beachy town reminded me of Florida. Its an hour drive from where I live 3 highways and I didnt get lost this time. I met some ppl it was the day afte a birthday celebration so the group was really hungover from the night before and we had lunch at some Mexican spot over looking the ocean. They headed back to "the house" and I decided to stay and go to the beach there. Walked slowly down Main st. bought a beach towel, I say slow bc I hurt my foot and cant be as active as I like to be. I tried to play some volleyball on the beach and realized that volleyball is comepletely about the feet! sliding to get to where a bal will land so I didnt do so good, now imagine that like 10xs worse... that bad. LOL. After that we went to "the house" its a beautiful home on the golf course in a private gated community. The gate house at the front was a beautiful little box with really really high ceilings and the man there wore a uniform w a hat that looked like a round safari like shape but in white. Plenty of photoshoots took place at sunset under and on the pier and I saw the surfers catching waves and the birds gliding basically in one spot hovering by a fisherman like a puppy wanting a treat. I was able to see its duck feet tucked under and his funny beak and stare. They had milkshakes and french fries at the end and I caught the last of the sunset and promise myself to stare and comletely watch is go down next time I have the opportunity to. And with silence say thank you for the day and the new ones to come, how thats one thing that never lets us down. The house is pretty clean right now, I took some action after it got a bit out of hand from being busy or blame it on the foot or the time of the month. I really want to fix my home and get rid of things I dont need to make my more to another apartment in a few months a bit easier. Not moving extra junk around. I have been having this feeling of not needing or wanting "stuff" but I admit I love stuff, I just love it. Id like to grow my rock collection and have a sacred spot of peace and pretty nature things. I missed a "rock party" where we would pass around some incredible rocks and drink wine... those ppl are all so interesting and the conciuousness of the stones, its really beautiful. Its something that takes time, its not like by 10 rocks one day and BAM there u have it... its finding which rocks and if they come from different places I think its better that way they have a story. They make great gifts now that I think about it. Its funny we buy rocks lol. I was going to go to Gypsy Camp tonight 6-10pm but didnt make it to that. Huntington Beach was a bit of a trek. Tom afternoon Im going on a hike w Caroline my cousin and bring Roxy.I gave Roxy a bath this morning before I left... I didnt bring her and thank god I didnt bc everywhere had no dogs allowed! you cant do anything in Cali... the rules are ridiculously strict and then marijuana is legal... alcohol too and to me it doesnt make any sense... I guess I think everything should be legal. I heard in Amsterdam they dont sell mushrooms anymore and they sell something thats from TRUFFLES now thats the same or similar. I had no idea... Truffles??? Crazy! Stopped at McDonalds on way home though, stupid McDonalds, I had it in my head and then there they were, those golden arches... I bought Roxy some chicken tenders... I cant tell u what I ate. It would defy everything I stand for LOL. I dont eat that anymore but fries are my weakness, not ice cream. Going to bed now, give Roxy some love and these eyes some rest. I miss Paul.

Jane Birkin...

Met Gregg Fleishman artist who built THE MAN @BurningMan!

I found his store front studio walking in Culver City, California. I met David Best who built the temple at Burning Man 2012 when choosing to help out and today met the man who built the man 2012 too... I'd say I'm pretty lucky.