Getting your life together is just a series of choices, collectively they turn the steering wheel of the ships direction and like a needle on a compass you want to have your stuff aligned. They said that you would have to make a change, that making the same mistakes in the same pattern of life over and over would give you the same results so the day finally came when everything was spent. All your resources went dry and you had to create a route out of the nothing... as if flying were the only thing to save you... you gave up so deeply on your previous beliefs that dwelling on the issue wasn't going to give you results so you CHANGED... You reached the end and you were finally desperate and ready to take the leap of faith and maybe it was that you felt you had nothing to lose...
This brought you to a creative climax :) or the rising action to such an uphill that you went spiraling down in circles... you weren't getting over that hill with the same little red wagon lol you needed to think of a better idea, meet a group of friends to help you, or maybe just chill on the angle and instead help another..?
You did this for years.
You stayed at the same inclination on this uphill uncomfortable path and at times would have rather dug a hole through to the other side but that only had you even more lost in the darkness not knowing which way was is up or down... so you waited patiently for years attempting this and attempting that... getting used to the fact that nothing really did the magic you hoped for.
Until one day, you turned 31, you looked around and people you wanted to be with you on your birthday weren't there, the life you wished for wasn't yet yours, the whole world seemed disappointing! You had the bed snatched from under you! The reality of everything wasn't going to get the best of you bc you were used to the feeling, you now knew not to expect so much... You realized you needed to focus on the things that were right like the new friend that did show up, the feeling that INSIDE of you... you Just Knew that their was something GRAND... that all your frustration was honest and pure and righteous but that you had to make a CHOICE and that choice was to let all the desires and dreams go and that you were just going to love yourself and make yourself happy by making the right choices for yourself and that you were going to begin to be the leader you needed and expected in another..
The next day you were motivated to do things YOUR WAY and in an awesome cool way,,, your way, your rhythm, nothing bugs you at all, your like a walking Angelina Jolie without all the bullshit ;)
You just move fwd, you still talk to yourself, tell yourself to be chill, remind yourself to stay humble, u look in the mirror, you try to look your best, you realize you look better than Angie, WOW, (jk) You know all those little human things... u try to do your best... :)
Then MAGICALLY you arrive somewhere different bc you held on for so long that you were given this chance of a lifetime... This right then and there is, Ladies and Gentlemen... THE BEGINNING OF YOUR LIFE....
stay posted...
-TAM
