Yummy

Feeling delicious in my bed all snuggly, just turned the fan off bc its actually chilly in South Florida, its so nice I LOVE this weather! February in Florida is my favorite, its actually cold but bareable. I went to a free yoga class in downtown FTL and the breeze blew the most beautiful breeze right at my face at the end of the class. She was good, Carrina, I liked her flow a lot. Ive been going to Bombay Yoga w Michelle shes really excellent but tomorrow I will be at Zen Vida hot yoga class at 8am. Its another full day! And so much more to do that I cant even get to, its always like that tho! Ah! The move is still affecting me. I have to take out everything from my closet and do a whole new review to donate/spring clean soon! Im in my new lil apt, its perfect size, the downsize served me well. im much happier w less space to clean and worry about and no roommates… just was crazy w the whole warehouse bc so much stuff, there making my art but how can I make art and sell art? No seriously, explain that to me? So I just pivoted and said Fuck It! Ive done enough of this! Im an expert at this and if its not making money like it was Im gona learn some new skills and take better care of my own damn self … AND WHA? Lol. Im so glad I did. Ughhhh! What a relief! What a weight to come off me! My whole worry to servive just suddenly dessipated I was like wait, u mean im still gona survive without working my ass off like a slave? And Boom! There I was suddenly in peace like learning new ways to live life all over again. Learning how to care for me FIRST, learning how to love myself and my things and who the hell I am. Just learning about my desires for Gods sake! What do I really want to do? How does that look like…. And then having an interest in others of course…. Thats part of my healing too! Community Service at Salvation Army and Voices for Children and pulling weeds w an elderly woman for no hours, many things for no hours!!! But I did them anyway bc I knew helping others was filling to my soul. Me asking for help and nobody serious enough showing up in Miami, so unreliable I tell ya… just so over it! I started helping others bc i knewww what it felt like to be in need of help and how it feels when someone good actually helps and I did it for friggin free… and thats not how it went when ANYBODY helped me, I compensated. But it feels good to have changed the course direction and switch it up a bit. I love myself for it. Ive really bounced back. I even bought a bird! Never thought Id get a bird but I did, shes my new pet and I love her. Her name is Paloma. When I was young like 4th/5th grade I had a friend named Paloma and we got along like w side pony tails and big Ts riding bike in Cocoplum LOL, its like I forgot about her but thats how u say dove in Spanish so the white peace dove I got is a symbol of where Im at… i originally wanted to set her free now Im just still deciding… bc I think she might need me. Shes in captivity… wings arent clipped. I let her fly around my apt the other day and maybe not a good idea lol. I was warned. I want her to fly tho! Then I learned that they grow back if u clip them. So not sure. Paloma is by the window w a great view, a mirror too, a couple perches and I added some card board bc I learned some about Pigeons online and i even leave her birds on TV for her to watch while Im gone. Still so much to learn! They are used to release at weddings and celebrations and that I thought would be cool til someone said she will not survive if I let her go. I dont want her to suffer so they might be right… i picture her getting eaten by an aligator lol, not funny but its just what I picture. Poor Paloma! Shes a Queen! Mi Palomita. Wish me luck w her! We are really happy, just the two of us. Xoxox

A Woman’s Way…

Through the 12 steps. 

Btw this is an actual person not Ai speaking and Ai is abound! So please 🙏🏼 My word, my oath… I will say and credit Ai if I were to ever use Ai. Im not opposed to it or ChatGPT but I am thinking and using my brain and thats what I like to do… even if u havent seen anythin Yet! Im here writing in hard times here bc those are the times I need to try to express myself. It is an excersise. I dont like it myself… I do what I do bc I channel and I am literally looking for my own ways to help myself… remember this started before I found AA LOL AA Ai … hahaha Tamara …. Is AAAAAA LOL not bc im a riot or a narcissist bc u insist LOL no!!!!! NO! Bc I AM TAMARA AIDA DIAZ and it has that many A’s in it… 6 yes 6 the amount that says I care… bc I do… like a pregnant woman about to have a baby does… thats me even wo the baby! (I still do want a baby i think but thats just extra… im looking for the right baby Daddy!) anyway, 

Writing this on my phone bc its been a while I havent said something decent here LOL Im doing “A Womans Way”, “The Artists Way” and Reading the NA book Living Clean, 8 steps to Happiness, next up The Prophet. 

Do Good…

This exact time of year is always stressful for me. Stressfree is what I want it to be… the pressure comes to squeeze me in and also be forgotten on the most important day I have… i never get the proper attention… but its just stressful for so many so even if I had it good Id feel it for those that dont I think, how weird is that? Why am I like that? Like, Do i do it to myself? Do I enjoy that? I dont want to. I just think its weird to enjoy inconsiderately… which I do at some point, i authentically do a real good time but for a moment like now I just wana mention how so much of it is actually not that pleasant…. Like its really about who u r with in the end not so much what you are doing. So who do I want to be with? Looking…. And doing the best we can is great… i like traveling but it can be uncomfortable at times and shit fuck, i know it very well… its not all ig postable perfect. 

Hola

Yo te quieromucho!

My phone is about to die

I’ve learned … what???

Ive let everyone GO!

Its not a question…

I did

I love u. ALL. I just had to….

Idid…

My phone is about todie…

Im ok tho…

Surprising

Headphones on Bonobo

Good to be rising with a smile on. Years of time went by and Im doing me well thanks for asking. Its amazing how much is out there for self help and healing. Its a lot of similarities, rarities, reframed a new way. Im the same boat w wanting to share my findings w all that. I do have a pretty unique story though and all my set backs have taken the form of devine amswers, gifts for me to really realize me and learn from. I do need to apologize for things, I wasnt myself and Im a work in progress. Im really happy to be taking this journey tho, i have to say. My gratitude is immense it cant be easily expressed w words, it shows on my face now, my true nature is back within me. I forgive everybody. Im not done w this whole work im doing. I have been so rude to be so self consumed w my bullshit. It was what it was, im glad I got through that. It needed to be fully healed to attract better things to my life and its still doing its thing. The thing is, i want to help ppl and those that need it, if they are attracted to me I want to let them be able to get some attention from me. The thing is they are not there for that, they think they might have a chance. Im not available like that easily, its like a chastity belt. I do always kinda say the same thing here, my lil life dilemmas. Life is great, im doing all the things demanded of me. I am so in awe w everything. The palm tree in front of me swaying its perfect V stripes, my name means palm tree Tamar, and love in action passionately does come out. I pray for all of us, esp those that I love come to mind but I need it actually, Its near the end of all that but thats why its so imp I am meditating and praying and not missing anything. Ive grown up a lot this year, tight schedule, being accountable, i consider myself reliable, i did what I had to didnt let my mistakes well, I take that back, remembering some things that I could have done better on. Slow down thats all. With lots to do its hard to do that.