dont read this pls...

Tired of myself even though that sounds negative but its who I live with and she has a tendancy to follow her heart in search and so she searches and really never finds anything bc its within. not one thing goes wrong but it varies and functions like a burst of letting free and nothing shows she found happiness bc that only fades and shes back to the hunt. I dont want to be negative, i dont want to annoy you, i dont want to sound repetitive or maybe I do cuz I am trying to find a way to live in harmony like all the rest. I appreciate and have manners and some how I show others the other Tammy that isnt even me but she is the interesting one for me to figure out. the battle of who to be is basically to just be who u are effortlessly and thats exactly what i do but it gets me in trouble when I later regret since their are endless possiblities of how to live your life, but even tho id feel proud to be a morning jogger I guess I need to live in the right area and blame it on a pal to go with. its like a great thought without sharing it. I just like to write and i havent in a while,,, it really hasnt helped me much other than proof of the train of thoughts i have, though they mean well, too honest and full of fear perhaps, they are senseless bc they are lost in the evaporation those clouds got thirsty or doing their job.

Making life happen is full of chores, i realize that... i dont know, I see my family and they are so good to me, I love them all so much but what must they truly think? I hate to upset them with who Ive became... so many in fact cuz i act so righteous and bitchy sometimes I drive myself mad too. the good days, so many of them and then when mistakes come its a drawback and i feel so overwhelmed, so strong yet so weak. I see what could be better and it does have to start with me, im way too wild to respect and dont ask me how its not done. I meet ppl and not sure who they are, all so private and difficult to really see. Yoga would be good soon, staying busy... Oops this is me.