Today I have made an oath to myself. I cant say what it is but I know it will be for the best for everyone. I am moving to LA soon, boxes shipped out, boyfriend is already out there and its going to be a fresh start and its a little scary but I am really excited to start over together with him and we support each other and help one another I cant imagine doing it without him though I would have probably somehow. I would have gotten a roommate chick probably and figured something out like i have tons of times in the past but this time I am officially moving in with a guy for the first time. It took me a while to find him and when I found him I wasnt even looking and one thing led to another and now here we are a year later, still together and getting more serious about ourselves and our direction. Things happen and time really does fly... I am now vegetarian bc of him, i mean if i go to a bbq and they have really good argentinian churrasco or a german amazing sausage i might have a little piece or if i go to a Cuban place I will still order my sopa de pollo but wont really eat all the chicken, i still eat fish... i'm obviously not a strict one but i am vegetarian inclined if you would. I have learned a lot about the beauty of Kabbalah and have Shabbatt dinner every Friday at his moms which we wont be going to anymore so supposedly I have to somehow do it over there for us... light some candles etc. We will unpack all of our things and organize them and try to keep it nice so that we can find what we need and treat our new home like its sacred. Ive been a mess, i didnt feel the need to make my bed in the morning and ive rushed to work with no breakfast but I want to change all that and be more routine like. most ppl in the world wake up before 9am everyday to go to work, commute, excersise, have bfast... I have slept til noon any day i could have! Do you realize that the days you wake up earlier you get so much more done? your tired earlier to get to sleep by midnight. I am getting ready for that type of change. The weekends can be days to sleep in a bit, sure but in general i want to be up early even if i dont have to work that day... bc their is plenty to do anyway... follow up with your tasks, run errands, have things done early instead of last min, the dress is drycleaned and ready to be worn in the closet, not in a pile in the corner.
I read this article http://www.miamiherald.com/2011/10/24/2470865/university-of-miami-student-charged.html
and this is so so sad. The girl is 19years old and is faced w manslaughter! She was Driving while intoxicated and killed a grandmother on her way back home from LIV nightclub. Her father is in the Latin Grammy board like my father and she happens to live in Cocoplum where I used to live... their r way too many similarities between us two except her situation is and should be an example to us all to finally say HELLO THATS NOT HOW I WANT TO END UP! Another friend of mine hit a biker on the way home to his house and his life was ruined bc of it. I have a friend who just passed due to a drug overdose that I went to the funeral for on Sunday, yesterday! Its all an instant and your life is changed forever! The wrong thing can happen to anybody but your more prone to something like this if you are obviously drinking or doing something else which led u to that.
I just hope this inspires you to change a bit, be more careful with your life. I wont ever see my friend Chloe again physically, My other friend probably wont have his career in music like he dreamed bc of his mistake, and this girl now will face jail time and her family will be destroyed bc of it. The system is cracking down on these issues... MADD (Mothers against drunk drivers) is angry bc their loved one was the one who got killed by a drunk driver. This is all real shit!
My little brother is sober. he lives in NYC with his girlfriend and two adorable dogs and they go to the park to walk the dogs and wake up and read the newspaper. He has shown me its possible to live your life without having a drink. Many social gatherings offered me drinks and it was hard to say no but drinking something healthier and being your true self and in reality and talking about real issues is much more interesting than wasting a night away at a bar. I used to dance all night and drink a ton and have a blast but its damaging to us... it ages our skin, it changes our personalities, it makes us forget things, we loose the following day trying to recouperate. I am at a place where I have seen it all and I have been in the middle of it and still didnt think to just quit drinking, it wasnt an option for me,,, bc it didnt come from me,,, i always envisioned myself having drinks w friends, or a bloody mary for brunch or a beer at happy hour but I have decided that i dont need it. I have fallen flat on my face and still didnt think to quit. I am a runner, was anyway, i broke my highschool record for the 5k race at 19;45min I was Vice President of my class one year, I was involved, i was beautiful and smart and now i am 27years old and thats like 30 and 30 for a girl is like 40 for a guy LOL sorry and I am still YOUNG! I want to be successful and elegant and correct and liked and trusted! If I dont prove myself, know my worth, make my parents proud then I am not being me at my full potential. If im not doing that for myself how do i expect to raise kids and have a family and hold a job in the cut throat world that we live in. Ppl out there are normal, im NOT but what I mean by normal is is that they care about the correct thing they need to do everyday they go to work and ppl might say "oh she's ALWAYS on time" or "He is the best at that" or "I really liked HER" or "I am going to go with this company bc she was excellent last time" idk etc.
I want to have my own business, I want to be the face of something, I want to be happy and upbeat and sweet and patient and a lot of those things go away when your nervous, hungover, short tempered and stuff,,, things wont go your way from then on... bc you weren't! bc you didnt allow yourself to succeed that day. bc you make it hard on yourself instead of easy how it should be if your well prepared. If you do the research you were supposed to do, having the extra knowledge which brings you to a fresh idea.
Why do things have to happen to us for us to learn from them? they shouldnt have to.
My dad says that the only difference between a successful person and an idiot is that they learn from their mistakes... not sure if i quoted him correctly but i dont think its even his quote to begin with... but thats the difference and its taken me a lot of instances to realize it myself so maybe im a little bit of an idiot but finally i can get to the next level bc i have finally learned. I have decided for myself that I am going to quit drinking with this move to California. It should make the new life really extra new and interesting and of course hard too... its a challenge. I want big things for me and its what you should h=want for yourself too so pay attention and if you are reading this I hope its something you can benefit from.
I was just accepted to Sohohouse all access so I can go to the gym there, use the spa, the pool, etc looking sharp and happy and in shape and hopefully glowing... thats for anywhere else i go too! but what im trying to say is, i wont be there to "have drinks" i will be there to enjoy, network, hopefully feel good about my clean lifestyle and impress. It will be hard to sit down for some guacamole without the beer or margarita it will be hard to have sushi without the sake but what will come out of all this is a better version of me... think about finding health insurance,,, you check mark smoking, drinking, dui, who knows later maybe liver damage and the whole thing goes from 200$ a month to 500$! Yea! bc your not treating your body right! your prone to disease!
Sending my love,
Tambo.
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