Sunday, March 10, 2013

One time in band camp...

I thought of the time I got caught cheating.. Well I wasn't cheating but I had scribbles on my ankle while I studied earlier that day and what was there wasn't gona be any helpful ANSWER... But I had to look bc I couldn't remember a word and I knew that looking at this other word written on my ankle would help me remember. So not being one to cheat I sorta made it more obvious than more secretive to look cuz I don't feel comfortable doing some secret thing so it feels better maybe to be clumsy at it instead of witnessed as a sneaky one if I was caught. It's like a friendly PG way of doing something I probably shouldn't do but cuz I want it to be known that I'm not doing anything BAD! So some chick behind me told the teacher after class and I was called into the disciplinarians office. I got an F on the test instead of the B grade I got for a C student girl... It's even more of a bummer cuz As or Bs r like extra effort on my part! I never studied for a test, I got by and that's all I aimed to do. I knew that if I tried I would be so much better but getting by was the way it was and I didn't try, I thought class was about absorbing info and homework was nonsense busy work to take up more of my time I would do it in the hall on the way to class or in another class cuz classes weren't enough so pretending to be busy w whatever made a teacher happy, looks like ur working on THIS class but that's the strange part. Mr. Cheney or something... He was prob gay and had this very FAIR approach to everything and what happened to me was def FAIR but what was written on my ankle were not answers... He wouldn't listen! was the disiplinarian and I was a problem child and known for it. So many kids kiss ass and I didn't see the point. I wasn't rude or bad but had an attitude and a face that was too expressive, discipline reports were written for raising my eyebrow. I didn't care to try hard, even medium bc I saw the future and the fact that Cs were good enough to get me there. I thought of everything as this bullshit thing cuz while a teacher lectured I was thinking about all the classes they had and how they could remember to say the same thing to each of their classes, they can't! They didn't have their HW done either. So I focused on the possibility of the teacher forgetting to explain THIS CLASS something, how could u say the same thing to 3 or more classes? It's hard to distinguish the fact that perhaps u didnt mention something last class that they needed to know... Then their are teachers who solely teach u what will b on the actual test. That's absurd. Being a teacher means yea hung the whole picture not that we should memorize answers, I've done that but like actual whole body of students could come together and form large groups like teams and learn a lot by being a part of a big picture. Like hopscotch and highlighters like cheers and imagination to win bc life is so much about not having a direct one answer to a problem so learning from the way others chose can teach u a million other things, triggers brain sparks, that's the point of school isn't it? Brain sparks. And also discipline but how can u be grading fairly really? Is it about getting the right answer always? Cuz having somebody in class who participates and others learn from their mistakes is a contribution to the class then ur gambling w the fact that who is in ur class, one class can def b more stimulating than the other, how is that fair? When u teach it should be to reach the students while they grasp info, the actual year of something is so useless in life unless ur on a game show. Brains work differently too cuz some are good at remembering while I'm the most forgetful person bc I am selective hearing and selective memorizing... Cleopatra hooked up w Ceasar and he was Roman I believe... I honestly couldn't picture most of the stuff. I preferred those word problems that I wasn't much good at anyway, they were math and tricky... So many tests are full of tricks! When u have the type to select the best answer the other answers may be tempting! Sometimes I just bubbled things in as a wild guess for the letter more than the answer, it didn't mean anything to me... It was tricky to be drawn to an answer and know that it could be a planned one to trick u so I spent a few mins thinking about that during a timed test which led me to bubble in randomly the rest wo more time. I love unexplainable imagine the role of having to teach but then if class gets to a part that can't be explained... It's not algebra or geometry that has to have an answer if the equation is done correctly... It could be the chances of a meteor or physics is full of things that need to be explored more than have an answer for. If you can ask a question and how would u try to go about answering it its way more points than the neighbor who is just guessing abc or d. So if they can qualify some thought process it's better than none and if they get it wrong it's more valid than maybe guessing right. Get it? Dress code is funny too... But I like uniform... I think it's a way of seeing ur peers in a school context so it's more proper more interesting than how kids chose to dress and it eliminates the need to battle one another for the look, the look is there, it's done, it's the only answer but then how kids play w rebelling it is how u can distinguish who is truly creative. I would get a pink slip everyday from a man coach who when I got to lunch he already had it written! How weird are ppl who work in schools with 12 ur olds?! Yes super! So many are put on a target, as if this guy would get paid a bonus for every one like a cop who writes tickets. They r like cops writing tickets. They r choosing to see what they want... Instead of looking at what I'm gona eat that day for lunch and appreciating all of the differences. That's something else how we always have to evolve the rules bc a new kid made a mistake that wasn't written... We do it to ourselves, we have to laugh! Like the freedom in what shoes u wear if u dnt have that as uniform is one item that u have more control over and so it's so much about trending and what's accepted by the others... I had high heeled sketchers and I can picture them now and they were so classic they should be in a movie. Then some kids had rolls bags and others had hello kitty Tim boxes... Til I got mine stolen. I stole something's before, I store somebody's sticker book and I have it back only bc it was the best sticker collection w lilies and everything! Then imagine giving it back but the teacher knows now u stole it so not a good look for the first few months of school, the year after I went to a special school... I also stole a pencil that had every color in the lead... Depending what angle u used it in... Once I took it I didn't feel comfortable using it so I didn't. I got called into the office... Etc. I was 8 and thought they were going to talk to me about the fact that next year I would be moving to Miami from London and told my peers that. Gave it back too. Nothing I had that got stolen from me ever got returned! I have had the best shit stolen from me and class and teachers had nothing to do w it! No alternatives! No, nobody can leave this classroom until we find it scenario. I was a good girl.

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