Some Perspective...

Looking at lots of images now like on these websites and social platforms u inevitably start seeing a lot of the same ones.. we all are drawn many times to a lot of similar things... so yea we create a lot as a society but what truly wins, wins most of our hearts, MOSTLY. Reading has a whole other world to it,,, the combinations of saying the similar thing are endless and its refreshing to hear a new point of view or not even just a classic quote thats timeless has so much power and blank space to fill. I wonder if your brain can grow, id drink the kool-aid if it was good for me but prob wont last forever, still i would. "A woman may represent a man’s better half, but his friends are his other self." I want to design things... finally after years of studying fashion design and art and then thinking not to go there bc I was afraid of not knowing where I wanted to be, overwhelmed maybe and etc. I need to think of things more lightly, enjoyable i guess... doesnt seem like i need that but i get silly stressed out and witness myself as an outsider being a lil brat. So sensitive right? So Sensitive its dumb. like about to give up on everything for the slightest mood swing that takes me to this place... then like bipolar, the next day, im happy go lucky again. Im just saying it here so i was one that said it, like said the truth, idk i just wana say things here not to bother anybody but so I can analyze it one day or some psychologist can try to make sense of a 21st century specimen. I used to want to live on a boat, remember? I wrote that in here somewhere... like in 2010 maybe idk.. i dont have a clear idea of where exactly I want to end up, never really did and here I am... i think thats an interesting determining factor. I think I repeat myself a lot too... like the way a GREAT man would if he had had this amazing career that he had met all these amazing other famous ppl now so if he sat a table w another (younger) musician he could tell those same stories he had of his life and that person would be appreciative and in awe maybe about them when first hearing them but the man telling the stories maybe has told the same story now for 30 years, its no fun for that storyteller anymore now, is it? right. i wonder about that. Want a tattoo i think again... on my ankle. Im beginning to do a lot of research for my big dream, im hoping it will come true. Not sure if I feel like my secrets are safe on here thats kind of annoying too... like REALLY the things im into at the moment are like my fashion forecasting predictions and stuff and I dont feel like I can spill my secrest on my blog bc thats a seperate thing, a talent to value - respect. I also dont expect ANY-1 to be reading any of this... i honest to God dont. Tomorrow I have a lot to do but need to write a list to help. One thing I notice about models who know how to pose they always have a way of keeping at least one foot very grounded unless they r jumping but even then, to control ur body and the balance in your feet and the weight how its used playfully must first know the rules of anatomy and core, the structure... its just something ive noticed that means a lot of things, its life. if only I could wash away the past, like wash it clean the way a new sunrise does everyday, the way the beach waves re-arrange the shore, bringing seaweed and then taking it all away. i would hold a broom permanently for us all to know that we are cleansed and burn a new one every night jk see when we sweep we push the dust away its going somewhere else, the vacuum sucks the shit and the shit is thrown someplace... so how do we stop making crap? we cant. maybe i will delete this whole blog one day too. a virtual delete is a diff concept, i heard even that stays. We all are where we are bc thats where we chose to be, either we are learning something from it or not but its supposed to be an obstacle course, no smooth ride, some may differ and prob bc they r in denial since its a safe happy place for them to believe in. I like those ppl, i rather be surrounded by them than a bunch of ppl like me lol. thats prob the point. to be one who makes the whole process we r all in more enjoyable, laugh at it, create in it, smile in it, find the positives in all of it, we are a planet who can try harder and pour out more love or a planet of madness, even depression. I want to figure this whole thing out even tho I may never fully but gosh what a bitch it all can be sometimes. im prob not the only one who needs better friends... some perspective.