Always

SO MANY WAYS TO GO ABOUT IT! 

WHEN I SEE WHAT’S HAPPENING IN DESIGN I FEEL AT HOME THERE... 

IT TELLS ME TO KEEP GOING... SOMEHOW I’M ALIGNED.

THE AMAZING THINGS WE DO AND YET WHO EXACTLY SHOULD WE CREDIT? THE INFO OF A PHOTO/VIDEO WHEN TAKEN, BELONG TO BOTH THE ARTIST OF THE PIECE AND PHOTOG. AGREEMENT BETWEEN THEM TWO. THAT’S HOW OWNERSHIP CAN EVEN MEAN A THING. WHAT R THEY EVEN TRYING TO DO ANYWAY? IT’S ALL ALREADY THERE. 

Simply challenging the idea of NFT’s into something more productive. Like hashtags do when ppl tag correctly but if a photo in a location of something could belong to that artist or venue so that they can have it too if they wanted to use it, like a bank of images and when used as we do for all other images, we pay to use it, but it could be from anybody but all of the images taken u get access to bc it’s yours that they are photographing. It’s bc we need content and if we r to use we could use somebody’s image, so it encourages photography (perhaps too much of it actually.) 

Time Machine. Could help more than not but where r all these pictures going? I think they are losing resolution. Could it be? That’s stealing truth lol. Am I egotistical to be caught up in one of my thoughts? Thinking it’s my thought. But we r not our thoughts?

I’m learning. I saw that it truly is perfection. It is utter beauty every part. The fat roll has a story of love, the pain, letting go, the things are necessary for the energy to be what it is. To take us to the next place… the floating palace we r on is quite magestic. 

I hope your kidding! Stopit xo

Entering a new unknown, a magnificent place. What’s the difference of magnificent and magical? Wow we could have even more words. If each word was a world and all it’s synnonyms in it. What the antonym would be, maybe then desirable. 

Moving into a diff bedroom in my house isn’t going to change things. But what it will change is the sun will rise there. It will get warm there in the morning and the sun will crack through the windows to wake me up earlier and I put myself through things not only bc they r painfully great but bc they are necessary. Change is the creation and I have the free will to do it, to myself! I am my own other pet. I am my own parent and my own child and my own victim that needs what I will, from now on decide. Bc I won’t allow it to come from exterior sources. Now u can’t complain, Tammy. Btw I’ve done this several times to myself. I’m not a masochist even tho it’s there to think about. I am too fucking nice to strangers and I’m over my own complaining. I’m NOT emo. Your a fucking emo! Watch me go from sensitive soul to soulless bulletproof who knows what lol. I’m not bipolar. I wouldn’t wish that upon anybody. It’s called PMS. And it’s also pissed off. It’s also just funny maybe and middle fucking fingers up in the air but I’m not even that mad at u or life and I know that’s not how to solve anything. LOL. So what is it? I’ve been trying to figure it out for a time and it’s bc I “lost my mind” they wana say… it’s not true. I love my mind, it’s sharp, it’s exercised like a muscle, it’s hard to shut up when I want to say something… I’ve gotten myself into trouble even recently and heard that I’m not a good listener. I don’t believe it whole heartedly bc I know I am also a good listener and I remember how I was such a dumbass and made a mistake. Dammit Tammy. It’s a really expensive mistake these days. It can be 10k or 20k whatever but damn do I have to get moving on my “art” if I want to survive and afford mistakes on top of it. It’s funny how what I can do is …. Just I don’t want to think of it’s value anymore…. I think what I really want to do is invaluable. It’s LIFE! Lovingly Live Life now has to just happen by ppl who aren’t concerned w the other part. And then there u have it, good real ppl… like me supposedly… til u cross me lol. Then u better stay away. I don’t wana do Karate on your head. I don’t want to hurt ppl. I don’t want to learn to. I rather not know. I know that my goodness and my higher poemwers lol powers will protect me from the evil spirits. Also bc I’m close w them, we tight. And I don’t need a gun. I don’t need the things that bring danger to my home. They have a wrong energy. Not of peace. Not of love. I agree that Americans should have the freedom to have a weapon if they feel called to. Bc I don’t trust the government to be the only ones to. The police are not our friends. I am from a diff era. But pls protect me. I have also thought of being a cop, did I tell u? Prob not. Maybe tho. It’s true. I actually mean it. It’s corrupt. And they don’t like that word once I said it. I am protected sometimes, and other times u can get mixed up in the wrong crowd. Wrong place wrong time. Sucks. Sucks the money. It’s as much as a Cartier bracelet. When it’s locked on your wrist u can now think about the equivalent value of it. U might as well lock it on so good they can’t get it off even for “there” and engrave your lawyers phone # on it. I wonder if they would cut it off. I don’t think so but idk. 

A wave of good…

The writing hasn’t been too inspired and even tho I have much better things to share it’s not the easiest to explain. I realize the difficulties I was just having are bc it’s part of the transition. I forgot that the struggles are what leads us to better things. New friendships that are more aligned to the next level me I’m aiming for and molding into. So now I’m ok w the difficulties I had, I can accept them and be grateful for them. I owe so much of my grounding and love to my little dog who just being beside me heals me, keeps me company and her warmth and her patience are so important to me especially during these times. I really want to let God in and cure all my past karmic issues that are holding me back. Any pain I’ve ever caused anybody consciously or unconsciously. All the moments and opportunities I could have done better somehow to be forgiven and like lift me off and out of any spells, evil eye ties, misunderstandings or mistakes. I wish more for myself as the equal citizen of this planet, that I learn the best way to harness my energy, treat others with utmost respect, be seen for the light I am and to find ways to contribute more, volunteer more, & act more leader-like in my best way possible. That my path be guided with that of least restriction. That my humanitarian nature be what defines me and not for my ego but for the greatest good of all. Ways to save the planet show up more for us. That I can move into being truly responsible for myself and that of others. To reach another level of joy that is based off long term goals instead of instant gratification. That the over achiever in me can back down and be content with what’s simple. That my idea for myself be rebooted and rest assured given new life, to trust the Universal plan and see the spread of what’s positive spread faster than a pandemic! A pandemic of love! Like a wild fire but soft smiles and twinkling  eyes, pure & honest. 

🌷

I’ve been talking as if nothing. As if it’s this easy peasy Japonesy… lies! It’s so twisted, uncomfortable and difficult to be in what they expect of us for todays “reality” I’m lying when I say I can handle it. Bc I don’t get it at all and I’m good at just being a person surviving but the human is not being. It is always trying to catch up. I have lots to do, lots to face, lots to improve on. I can try all I can, w all my might and still I just don’t think it’s my kind of world to keep up with. I think we have to listen to other views, new perspectives, and expand our design system. Meta verse is just one bubble to look at. It’s not the only one. We have to think of the competition. The ones who want to remain Real. They interest me. Time spent or time wasted and value, what is it worth? Is it even healthy life perspective? Or just a marketing gimmick. Let’s not lose sight of what’s important, of what a healthy human needs to do to be balanced. That these things deprive us of our time playing, exercising in the sun and making food and having conversations w our children. I believe our lifetime is BEST yet to come think of. So start to now. Plan ahead. Don’t be an asshole like think about it. 🎆 Happy New Year 2022!