Wisdom wishing

I have better things to say than these... I am so so grateful I'm leaning over into others, of how grateful I am. Best way to explain it. I don't like I start anything with I anymore. I m tired. Wish so many beautiful wishes that they should leave me in control to make them happen.

From This Distance...

I feel safe in the distance. As opposed to being under a microscope like wide open and vulnerable. I feel safe knowing u don't know and just hang on to that opinion u blow air in that balloon of a thought that is an invention in your head. When I've given myself and told u my truths u thrive off the story, not knowing what if it's true or what to do. I feel safe in the distance, it's what I do. I'm never alone w so many hobbies, it's never lonely w so many thoughts. Not having to answer to anyone and doing as u wish is so liberating only your responsibilities to do. My worries are mine and I can carry them around. I don't ned u to understand them, so much of them rubbish. I dive into my magazines, my photography, sports, websites, research, places, discovering, learning, reading, watching things I like. All those ways I feel protected cuz from this distance is where I observe. Nobody really knows what We witness, what our brain thinks is here probably the most honest blog in 2013.
I send love out to my enemies! I see us all as one, charma so strong it's so apparent. Living a life I always want more from! Wanting better friends I can truly count on. 3 strikes your out my motto, I might give u my hand to help u up after u broke my heart, I forgive everyone including myself. To think that it gets easier is wrong. May look as though I don't have enough respect for myself but that's not true I just don't put up a fake front. If I had a nose job i wouldn't live in the lie, if I was a lawyer I wouldn't lie no matter how much money u paid me. I do twist the truth, and taking the same story can be seen in a thousand angles... I exercise seeing all the views. From this distance away the energy still permeates... From my happy places and all that's left unsaid.
From the distance I make sure I am good to myself and my smile and thoughts are mostly clean. It's here on this platform that I spill my heart out to be relieved. :)

Self Portraiture,

its pretty obvious...

u either get the real stuff that might brake or the expensive stupid splurge that wont be smart cuz u know that the goal is worth reaching worth the persistance worth the strategies put forth worth the taste of reality where we call it sacrifice for comfort but yet its not even bc its just purely trying to get there, its not as far as one might think but far like the unknown wooden cave w a calendar like a tigers yawn for low tide to reach if u distract yourself or w any others melted time faster fwd than a snails greatest grandmothers thought in a tear drop spec in time w 3d cobweb brainstorm for the unwritten essay by a potential president but under a bridge no chance or haitian girl found by a coastguard on our land. wo a language we would be even more lost than im trying to make it seem. how there we are just a smile and glance from connection and team we would be so powerful to join instead of fight all alone. just this for now. no rush to be anywhere but thee besides amoungst and free it might seem so perspective to follow its a message in a bottle.

Hold Us Together

I actually look at everything and so many things have BEAUTY :) like u U UUuuuuuuu do to Me :) u do to meeeeeEEE. 'e I notice how I am grateful enough to notice the whole entire World... the whole entire world... it all lets me in. ppl i know we are all each and every one. I am so holding u by the hand even when I cant explain, i cant explain but how is this true? i ruuule the woorld... ;) OOOhhhoooohhhhoooooOOOooooohhhhh I grabbed u when i saw u dying to be held, i thought of u when i wanted my name to be yelled, i knew u wanted to be held like i did too that day. One time tis thing happened to he and its a short story to inspire u, this older woman came to sit by me, we both happen to have dogs, women like her stay away from girls like me bc i have a dog to, u gotta be in the mood thats all im tryna say... but get this, our flight was delayed, she was worried about the truth, about how her dog was gona go to the bathroom... when its a flight to LA maybe from nononono it was def to florida but she timed it from nyc somehow and u know that it was a time in my life that i could totally love some convo any convo but at the ame time i didnt need anytghing bc i had ROXY all in all.... i knew i was so strong... sooo strong! that everything that had happened before that moment that looked like i needed attention was TOTAL BULLSHIT LIKE I KINDA NEEDED A TRUE MOMENT TO MYSELF BC I ALSO DESERVED IT! I went thru hell wo deserving any of it... i cant explain in. So, I opened up to this old woman, bc she had a dog, they were both way older than us,,, but guess what she left her bags w me and while she was gone... SHE GOT HURT! she hurt herself that she couldnt take the flight w me, she had to have somebody come get her bags that i was watching for her, she had some how falled, badly, she cut her EYE, yes she didnt get to say bye, it was kinda sad! we both know that! I wont see her again. its kinda for sure, like same way I didnt get to say bye to my fashion teacher in highschool named MRS. HEATH... a class i had in highschool that taught me how to sew before any other place would and in a chill way that truly didnt exhist... she was such a cool teacher... she loved me, believed in me, bc she saw how I was in class w ideas and doing things that were not the projects to keep us busy instead i was in that class making things that i wanted to make and probably not making the simple things that u get graded for... u see, i was really bad in school... im good tho if i care, i know the drill, i know i have to do things i dont want to, to learn, i actually admire Rebe's writing very much :) I peeked her blog and im impressed (honestly) and where else but here to admit that? hahaha Its true! I think that so many things are beautiful!

singing better...

What happens if I misspelled a lot of things earlier? I look bad right? I look like a silly stupid girl? well thats just great bc im not. OOOOhhhhhooooohhhhhhhhhoooooOOOoOOoooOoOOOOOOOooojjjjjhhhhhhhpopopOIPOOOJOOPOOOOOOOOOO000OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Beautiful Fun...

One pic is w my brother, Rod, its pretty cool... hes now engaged to his soon to be wife and soon to become new sis for me too! Im happy for the whole thing but I love my brother lots and I hope he remmbers some good times like this :) cuz my goal is to be a GOD MOTHER DAMMIT! hahahahahah shhhhhh :-) no wink for that real story ;)

Coldplay...

Hi hey, hi there, i have more to say than nothing, trust. Im a scientist... i really am... I say sorry... i think ur lovely... i found u... i set u apart... i ask u all sorts of questions... we run in circles... :) NOBODY SAID IT WAS EASY... """"" No one ever said it would be this hard... Lets take it back to the start. I was just guessing... the puzzles. questions as loud as that HEART come back and haunt CHA! runnin in circles.... the tails... such a shame for us to part. IM goin BAcK to the Staaaart to the sTarT... oooooOOOOOOooooooo ooohhhhOOOooOOooooaaaAAAAAAioooooooooOOOOoooooohhhhh.....

More than happy to be here. Wishing u were going to ski w me, annoyed w u, people r happy we aren't close, it's only made us stronger, yet, we know who's who and whO for longer... I'm irrelevant purrr... Likeakitty nmmm grr mmmmm

Clarins

This is pretty serious... I actually love somebody again! :) I love these ppl I do bc i just do... i feel like i could really be friends w them and i would never say that about other people but i just love these girls bc they arent thrown on my by the paparazzi etc like other celebs, they dont owe us anything they just are ARE the way I would be, the way I feel, the way I am... I think I have an important family too... but no reason truly to be at the shows maybe other than wanting to see them and yes a sense on style fuck they sooo DO!!! I dont care about alll these people with shitty songs and shitty reasons and Beiber Fever,,, NO i like the Clarins girls :) I truly do bc I think I say one at Burning Man actually hahaha i swear and I took the best pic of her EVER EVER but then i think that her sister was the older one who wasnt there bc I never even really looked at them til that/this/seriously this story LOL MY DADS FAV CD USED TO BE THIS COLDPLAY RECORD THATS ON NOW... BUT SO FUNNY... MY OLD ROOMMATE ABBEY HATED IT! So how strange Oh brother I cant believe its true im so scared about the future and i wana talk to u take a pic of what u see in the future where would i be climb a ladder up to the sun something thats never been done. Are u lost or incomplete? do u feel like a puzzle? how doooo uuuu feeeeeeeellll??? talking in a language that i dont speak??? take a picture of something u see/// >>something thats never been done>>>>> SOMETHING THATS NEVER BEEN DONE>>>>>>>>>>> MY dads fav record was this one, Coldplay,,, im pretty sure after all these years,,, he loved this,,, i love it too Dad :). I dont feel IGNORED. promise. Im super happy to know. Cut me down a tree, brought it back to me, where i was going wrong... on a shelf. dont blame anybody. i could write a song a hundred million miles long, get lost and then get found. I love to write these lyrics down... Im happy to try to fix it, anyway I can. I do it all the time.

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