Healing the World

Today seems like a slow Sunday, one where your working in a lousy place and nothing is going on. You try to stand there with a smile or act busy, tons of silly jobs like that. Today kinda feels like that, since I woke up to be out of the house by 9am I went to the bank and it happened to be closed on a Sunday of course lol so I had a coffee outside with my dog, in the unbearable summer heat, maybe everybody has left on vacation? Nothing opened on Sunset blvd for what felt like hours. I poured cold water on my hands and wiped down my arms, face and neck w the dry heat vacuuming my skin. I had left my phone at home, how did that happen I thought. When I got home the air fought to pump cool. And still the city seemed bare on my drive home. The thought of a dip in the pool was the only thing possible. Then I got comfy in my cool sheets and pillows and today, that's what I did, I chose to lay inside and relax because tomorrow is Monday and Since it will probably be just as hot I won't be able to lay around and do nothing. Starting to feel the energy of Monday. I also had to style a shoot on Friday so my body is begging for rest. My back cracks and pops when I rotate my right shoulder, from carrying bags of shoes and jewelry. Loving what I do is one thing but what it entails at times is another. I bend over backwards and don't ever complain in real life to anybody unless maybe I love u, then u would hear my cries.... Or a little virtual filing case, all pretend. The energy of the day, they say it's Pinjas, it's a healing energy, maybe that's what I'm feeling, a relax state of healing. 

Describing moment

Wednesday I hear ppl laugh they sound like they r playing a game. I'm just here listening. Roxy is here, she's an angel. This little baby w her stomach facing up and softer nope. Little huge impact love u. Words r so sss.. I have to get to work Tom and kinda dreading it just being lazy cuz I just wana lay around like Roxy lol wow so just said that. The sounds. I'm trying to listen but my thoughts are lots of times louder⚓. I don't care if I'm embarrassing myself, I don't want to feel restricted in one way and absurd it may fucking so be.

Water feet

Lonely as ever. Lone some, I swim in the distance. I haven't been up to date w it all, to create the need is what it is. Just thoughts on paper and love w open heart splish splash..

Soul Traveler...

Stick to it...

So I have been meaning to say something, anything, bc I want to prove that I'm smart, that I think.

I think I'm smart I mean

I mean it

I wana say more than just that tho... I wana tell u about all the things I see. I see all these repetitive things...

And then I see some beautiful unique things too

I want to describe some beautiful things in detail bc I'm lost in the bla bla bla 

And I really want to get back to the stuff that matters.. I love so much art, design, fashion and I am glad to see that it is going on...

I also see how repetitive and unoriginal it is, I feel like it all makes sense together in the end... Things make other things stick out or more important etc.

Stick ur self out I guess!

;)

Over Talking and Thinking

Not doing it all yet.. I'm lost in the moment and free. Why r some dogs so mean? Or like the owners. Paul gave so much pretty love. Major breeze going through my room.. I have to pay better attention. To everything. Have a lovely day and don't drink and be happy! I'm just saying anything. Hope it doesn't bother. I'm feeling like I let ppl down and don't want to feel this way and crap. Sorry to write this It's personal, I need some help to get me to a place where I should be would be great. I'm so confused lol. I don't want to be annoying or a bitch or anything but me. Trying to be me is a disaster isn't it? Lol nooooo I am letting go of lots of my old clothes that I collected but now I wana rid myself of as much as I can. I worried for myself. Who says that?! The crazy bitch writing this and I just want to work and love what I do and maybe travel some for ... U know I really duno how I'm Gona do this guys. Have I told u I feel like shit right now and I m a Debbie D doody space cadet of thinking I will be taken care of somehow and that thought is instilled in my brain like a female from the past but now we have fought to have careers and. An opportunity for a mans rivalry in equality. Yes we can! But like already has so much to do on it's own. We barely get vacations from worker. What am I saying? Why am I saying this?

Ok I wana shut up now and forever. I don't want to at anything ever again. Over talking.

Notes

Super silly but supr. In bed, safe, that's what counts lol can't see clear

Sleepy looks like steepy, yes todally does dude do ya even get what ur doing? Didn't think so. Hammer head! 

Still not asleep, what r u looking for?

Nothing more than whatever it is. Really? No. I didn't  think so. Oh!

I remember certain things. Not every single thing but love it all together. Vodka wuz X

Go away the alphabet - A

Be ez u see flown away. 

Perhaps it's all already written?

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps...

".                    "

Hold on for dear life? 

Am I on a side as we play tug-o-war?

R u an animal?

..

I just screamed out of my window to save an animal

It sounds like they r killing a person.

It really does to me.!

I am just now feeling so scared,

So full of fear bc yes I wish u were here but I am here now, and Roxy, I heard or felt something like super 

Ppl r

Ppl killing people.

Breaking things.

Hurting animals.

Who r deez beings?

Do u really go where u wana go w ur thoughts?

And if see someone, who I don't give fo who what huh what huh uh so omg I'm so stupid but wait cuz I really foreal heard all that now I heard a woman trying to sound like a dog! Crazy but I swear to god.