Dream

I feel like I love you guys and I'm so glad that in whatever way this IS, we r connected... that I'm happy this exists like I'm happy that drones are for our own benefit at this moment and that I'm outnumbered when I wana speak my mind and that I wana talk to you guys and that I'm here wondering sometimes maybe why the heck is it like this and why am I always shocked and somehow sometimes not happy bc I'm ok, I'm happy I think as a person but I'm also dealing with the same over all pressures u all are and how I'm just gona keep trying my best... well I just wana say thank you all for being involved in my life and if your not it's alright bc thank you for not. Thank you anyway for whoever you are and I will always accept you.. don't worry ever again... nothing is ever THAT worth getting down about. Be floaty, be free, be happy easily... #winterblossom #dontworry #behappy #love

Blogging

Bloggghhh

Speak... easy

Speak...easy

Asking my angels to help me as I looked down on a pinkie ring I bought at a spiritual shop that was silver w a black stone. I picked the black stone to protect me, I heard from my mother that that's what it does. I added it to my collection of healing stones, Pablo santo sticks and a handmade dream-catcher I planned to put in my living room area to match w the color theme of wood, baby blue rug, white walls, brown couch and pops of orange it was becoming. I was in San Fran for Thanksgiving and it was really fun exploring the cities neighborhoods while scouting the shops that I found possible for my TAMBONITA handbags. 

On a plane after much hustle and leaving my wallet behind for my initial flight... just some ridiculousness, I tell ya! 

Looking down at my little ring on my pinkie I touched it and asked for help, when suddenly the ring was a deep red! It wasn't black it was actually a dark ruby red when I look now and so it's changed! It either changed or I was wrong about it all along. With my vision and wish I envision the very spiritual people who worked at the store and how their pace in life was like calm and serene like nothing can get them out of the flow of life they were in. It was flowing not jolting. It was calm not flustered or rushed. It was peaceful not full of anxiety. This is sort of what I asked for myself when I envision what I want for myself. 

To me the color of the right doesn't matter if it changed or not but that it's a sign of having to move just a bit slower to be able to fully tell the exact color instead of believing it was black to begin with. The color now being red is going to symbolize that it's the color of love although green is the heart chakra we have blood pumping through our veins and it is all inside of us. Red is rich & romantic and sexy and when your sexiest you move slowly. May this story help you and inspire you to look at things instead of just see them. To slow down bc it's the rhythm of a flowing river we must flow with and not anything more. Let's help each other find our unified Rythm. ❤️️🙏🏼✨

The beach in peace...

Walking by the beach w Roxy on this lovely sun set afternoon, the colors of the sky are PROUD now but always changing. I'm in heaven today, This is life!  The palm trees are swaying, the rythms are everywhere and it's really delightful as I sit here on the cream colored sand. It's like tender blues and mix of murky purple, this is home and I'm leaving tomorrow. I'm planning to make some big changes. I'm about to move apts and I'm asking God to guide me to a new place which I'm very open to. Where I land will determine a lot of what will and might happen for me. I want to cut a lot of crap out and go towards my more defined dream. I really have to make this next year about my career. I'm going to dive so deep into it that I'm going to let it save me and kill me at the same time. I mean, I'm going to create a strong balance where I am so busy that I can't get bored. I'm going to dive head on into my hobbies, read more, create a schedule for myself where I can stretch and set intentions, perhaps paint, be super organized, just love myself. I think a bike ride from the beach would be good. I think a large studio would suit me. With French doors and a little walk way courtyard that I can leave open to. I'd love a fire place. I want to be the best version of me and stay steady. I wana stop searching so much and just be obedient to myself. I think I am old enough to be my own good guide. I don't want to have the lows anymore, I wana be wise with my time. I want to save money and make money and live well. I want to be comfortable in the place I find and perhaps more reserved. I don't go out in LA and I like the sound of a calm quiet life w candles and home cooked meals and early mornings more than the late nights in Miami. It's going to work, it's going to be positive, it's going to be quaint and charming and about getting rid of the excesses and holding on to what's really important. I'm ready to start over again and prove myself that I can manage. This is it, it's in Gods hands! Wherever I land I just wish for the best! I am happy about the transition and I am going to try my very very best. Here goes...

My love...

I feel terrible. Ppl feel ignored by me, I'm not really a rude or annoying person but it's like I could come off as I am bc I'm correcting sombody. I'm kinda on my own now, idk bout u but yeah... I'm wooooooo "so underrated.... Wooooooohooooo suffocated HA HA " eyes on fire. I feel for you, I feel for me, I feel for this, I feel for feel! I feel to feel! I love u! I love uuuuuu UC. I'm pretty exhausted, Canada, NO! CANSADA! Que  rude! Con el auto! Que mierda! Que no-way! Look MA! No hands w the whole other thing! AI agree your super duper cute tho. Super. Ok anyway,,, I'm so tired like I have to go to sleep! Like its like they think what? What do they think tho? Lol so love u all tho. I love how the girls got practice, they rock! I wish Monica was my older cousin LOL love love love

I got with the program

I wake up at the weirdest hours sometimes... I think too much sometimes... I am too much sometimes. I blew up a few times. I too am only around less than that times... That's for each of u! What did I just even say tho bc it means a million things and nothing 👍🏼 oh how interesting 👍🏼 lol. It's not exactly what makes me feel lost proud. We all have those moments and those thoughts where we think too much, maybe get self conscious or want to cry out loud even... It's not your norm, it's not your best version, it's not what you admire, it's not even you and it really not even you anymore even... Cuz I wonder what my face did just now as I thought it and directly thought and typed it into my computer bc it's not pre programmed, I'm not a program! I'm a real living person willing to spill my share of just thought process. Yes, as sad as our thoughts may get, as unreal of a reality it counts be, and even the knowledge and power we realize. I'm single now, it's like I can finally say that and not feel weird. I am sitting here, laying real low, on my parents new house couch... It's very light grey, almost white. I have a fan above me on a silent low. I have black shelves full of CD's in front of me (the way I guess I have had my whole life) I question everything. I hang with people who are real and creative and can actually party. The rest aren't my friends bc I'm not trying to really make any. I'm with a new objective, I just heard a cat yell and it was so loud that now I get why they call chicks cats. I can still hear the cat. It's not a purrr, it's a yell, and I say wow.what kinda animal am I, would u say?

I appreciate you,!

What are you doing?

Im in Miami laying in bed with little Roxy sleeping beside. The AC is blasting and I'm under the covers, I've had an iced coffee made by my friend Karla in a blender... I'm having a BBQ here today but my ankle is sprained. Last night I went to a friends art show, known each other for 11 years now so I made a big effort not to miss it, even as I'm hurt. The best was when he personally rolled me through from Art work to Art work on a rolley chair as he explained each piece as I sat down with a tiny plastic cup of white wine to sip. He had pieces about 3 somes on magic carpet rides and goddesses of love, jellyfish, moscs, flowers blooming, multi-medium works that were playful and scattered with elements of tiny details in gold leaf. Later we discussed it over food at an Argentinian Restaurant. The topics of polygamy and a film he wants me to act in. I told him this would mean it's a serious role and that I'm not sure I would have time to dive into all that with my business which is just starting. I'm going to throw a bikini on and hop down to the pool in a few... It's almost 3pm! 

Things are changing and I'm going to be moving apartments soon, spent lots of time creating a list of places to see... I think it's going to work out, I feel like I should be more contained and obviously slow down some. It'll be interesting to see what does end up happening. Til then, just appreciate where your at now and be thankful, yea I agree.

Done with Dat...

When ppl come to me with a problem I'm going to just say "don't worry, I'm sure you can figure this out" I don't want to enter into their drama and give my opinion over and over again. People end up doing what they want to do and ppl don't need to TALK SO MUCH about it! I SWEAR! I find myself very comfortable in the silence and it just feels better than talking about stupidity. I want to and love to work things out, I actually like hearing somebody's story and I do come up with ways to solve things but I'm getting really tired of it when so much time and energy passes I'm just starting to see the difference between a conversation that is going nowhere vs. one that can come to a conclusion and then take action. I want to make things happen and not really waste time in other people's issues bc I have better things to do with my time. That's all I wana say for now. Save it for the birds! Lol xoxo

The need to write...

Before saying anything I just want to say that lately I have been feeling quiet, not wanting to say as much and realizing how much ppl talk and don't ever let silence come in for long! I started to notice it and I really feel a need for quiet time and this has been totally different for me but almost a higher self knowing to shut up and it feeling really really good, powerful and not even needing to say anything! Like I just magically was touched at my chest and hushed. I have been asking others to hush with me and they think I'm being rude LOL. It's a time for ME now and I'm choosing to sit more with my own silence, which some call it meditation, I find myself meditating for no apparent intentional reason randomly then as a cleansing and content-ness deep within. 

I do not look pretty when I'm

Sad but I don't look good when I'm TOO TOO HAPPY either... That's fucked up. Lmao

I'm kidding 

"Keep her in mid range" Lmao

I can't wait for all the wonderful things that are going to come :D

But so, I'm asking somebody to do what they DO and they come back to ask me "what's your budget?" But I'm the friggin artist here! I have no budget! I don't think monetarily I just know what I need to do and once I hear a price I then look online & ask friends if that's a good price, I investigate on what price they gave me. I am looking for a better price or to read between the lines of what they are of course offering... It's also who your goin to deal with, you want to get a good feeling from this person or some sort of conveniency. Ok so now once we are past all that... I come back to the guy and say YES or NO. It's simple. If you convince me that your great from the beginning I might just go with you right away and pay you BAM! Out of mere impulse and again, conveniancy. 

It's right there/do it now type thing. But now I always think about it.

Anyway I just wanted to explain that. I think it's weird to ask ME for MY budget... "Well how much is it?" "How many hours?" This is all then gets finalized and going through for approval by the ones paying for it but bc we are not stupid and want to make sure Tammys taking care of business correctly... It's all getting the final word of approval by the investors of course! I'm not the one with the money to make those decisions but I'm the one making all the other ones by what I buy when I'm buying materials and who I'm working with and designs and such. Now I'm not even paying people like I was before. The sourcing of materials Have been the things I have been able to maintain at a level where I have been completely 100% trusted to be spending correctly. I have done my best and it feels good to be trusted. 

-Tomorrow is super planned out with lists that are prioritized and so is my entire LIFE until Aug 4th right now! And to think I'm supposed to plan this other magical trip I'm taking end of Aug w a camper I hoped for this year but with who? It's not even clear and I need to know now... Can I sit this one out? If I say I will I could easily slide in home base somehow. That's the thing lol. 

Exhausted but what can I say sometimes I feel the need to write. 

Time to rest,

Good night 

Meryl Streep inspired...

Together Forever

I feel like people aren't taking good enough care of their own, their own space, their own bodies, their own plants, their own things... We have to take better care of our own selves and surroundings, our home as our sacred space. I'm not saying I am perfect nor pointing fingers I'm just becoming aware from observing that I'm drawn to places that are well kept, bodies that are healthy, children that are happy, and all just well cared for. So each, we can do our part and together it will be a better place for us all. With Love, TAMBO

Peace on Earth!

If only I could really feel the stars and tell u about the energy I mean I really think I do... I really think I feel it! I feel something. Do u feel something? I feel something. 

Wait SiriOusly....

I feel like theirs this new world I'm going to cross over into and that I don't care if I end up losing things that this world finds value in today cuz tomorrow it will be of no value to us... What we will always need is each other and so talking shit about one another is wrong and conniving! It's not Uplifting! We all need to be lifted, even me, HELLO, I'm not perfect and u know it cuz I show u cuz nobody else what's to ... Well we all end up showing life with our RESULTS.. I'm always trying to find myself and express myself in times of difficulty, darkness, I make mistakes and yet I don't, I think we learn from our experiences. I'm a curious & interesting girl, the other doesn't always realize that til a lil later. I'm just saying cuz I'm bored. I'm also so bored that I could do stupid things or go to sleep. Sleeping is my fav thing. I think talking at all makes people look. I'm like in a dream but I love u but your not even there. 

I know me too.

No idea

Looking for the beat of my drum, and drumming, looking for the beat of my inner feminine sweet side that's filled with love, an over abundance of love to fill you with it and heal you with it almost instantly! Like VOILA! JUST CUZ! Mmmhhhmmmm hahaha omg I'm not saying I'm a channeler but I will say I'm pretty ridiculous sometimes and I know better so I don't know why I do stuff to just do it and go with it and post it right away cuz I can't contain myself lol. Im just like me really and it shows like I'm not being smart about this at all at all lol. Im sabotaging myself left and right always and forever but for what? I haven't the clue. But I'm admitting to it, something that is again stupid to do and say and unnessary and so why again? Right. I have a million reasons for my reasons of reasons to reason and reason is reasonable reasoning to me u see lol 

I'm a pretty chill person in general I just like to talk about something even if it's nothing I wana talk about something. I really wish I could bless this world with like the cleansing from the power of nature to take control of the situation and to just observe and learn from it and respect it and to use its natural resources wisely like mature adults that are aware of the repercussions that any damage would do to our Earth, even the slightest. And to intuitively know and allow freedom amongst us all. That we live together happily and with each other as alibis from the simple fact of survival and to live in Peace as peaceful warriors and humanity . 

I went crazy at the AT&T store a little bit ago and seriously made a huge scene and yelled bc I couldn't wait longer for the dude to get back to me... Can u imagine that ? I am listening to neighbors yell some heavy metal and now it's quiet and I'm feeling like an idiot for EVER YELLING EVER BITCHING IF ITS NOT FOR LIKE UMMMMM I HATE THAT I COULD EVER LOSE MY TEMPER AND NOT JUST FUXKING LEARN TO KEEP IT COOL BRO. Why u Gota go and do dat love huh? Lol. 

Gotta go! Bye

TAMBONITA

Ok so, ok so, ok so, ok so so, ok so ok so ok so so ok so ok so okso ok sk ok ok ok ok ok ok well ok ok ok ok ok elm elk um well auto ugh ok no ok no really tho ok no really tho ok no really tho ok no really tho ok no really tho ok no but so um no really tho ok so now um really tho ....

Self Centered...

The road less traveled...

Feels like...

From this day forward I will never say anything bad about anybody ever again. That's what I feel.

Self Love... Selfie...