Back to Back lmao lmbo ;)

I got the heating pad… I should just call it “the heat” “I got the Heat” my tongue fighting to fit inside my mouth cage of teeth LOL. U can say she has no friends or u can call it nobody wants to hear it, it’s not that important yet. But I’m about to say something that is,… I had to come to another bedroom in my house to feel comfortable for being up late bc my consideration is on another level of sensitivity. I feel better now. I really like the heat on my lower back and it would be SO much work to get this in the old days btw wow. This is Blessed by Modern Times LOL. And then there is the opposite… I am about to stop drinking for 21 days and I’m obviously showing my kooky side… ppl go to meetings and get that kind of help for this but I haven’t even tried to stop that much yet… always do I find the best excuse, that’s sooo my nature yet I can also call myself out btw and also I’m so willing to learn. I found that none of the ppl on my phones messages were really ppl I was happy to shoot a text to bc i of feeling more jaded than anything. Like nothing is good enough. Like being alone is better. But it wasn’t better, that’s not what I wanted and I was in a vicious circle. Realized maybe there is a mixture of trust issues to a lack of fulfillment for INTELLIGENCE, like my thing is brains. I like an intellectual conversation. I’m a risk taker even in conversation, pushing boundaries, having fun, learning, playing the games but just right. Always pushing further not to kill the things but to expand them for more ideas to come and to feed curiosity and to chase the richness of life! Ideas! And finding the right ones to go after! So higher and higher! And more and more… not so much writing a song necessarily.  But finding the connections in agreement and disagreement and why that is. It’s a strange Satisfaction to grow closer but also to realize they actually don’t like this as much as u do Tammy. Tammy, you’re different. And alive lol and lonely, and healing, and grateful. So I found out that there r some things we NEED to actually do to be better and I’ve been on the “Camino” doing them. I’m super grateful. 

This might sound redundant but I must insist to make it special for u to grasp… I can’t control your thoughts and I won’t be there to help u expand on them but I will be a friend who shares  these tips w u which I JUST learned and I believe in :)

We know how important GRATITUDE is and I always had so much to be grateful for but found myself thinking more about who doesn’t have what I may of had and how it was my feeling that it wasn’t fair and it changed from grateful to sorta sad bc idk whatever… my programming? My nature? Idk! NOW I’m over that and I can see the feeling gratitude feels in my body and how it is medicine, natural medicine… for changing the chip of our brain… like the new direction of the steering wheel post I wrote before. ;)

So what makes u excited? Happy? Feel those beautiful feelings are what u should definitely hold dear to your heard. 

Who do u want to be? Set a word intention for your day and then think why u said that word. Give your reasoning an honest push to manifest your charachter for the day or even life, these words can be adding more to u! You just want to find a little inspo from asking your soul the feels for some direction. Remember, u have all the answers! ;) 

Mention who u want to do this Incredible Day for… who needs u on your A-game will give the foundation to bring a clearer cause to strengthen your reasoning. Now you r thinking outseide of yourself and that helps. Ppl do need you to be the best and do it for the others! Making the world a better place. 

Now also think what could be a problem or what could be difficult or a little hurdle to look ahead at it and plan how it might affect u at the worst of its case and then it gives space to the simple fact of now being more prepared. Aware that u don’t want “that” to happen so u won’t or shouldn’t make the mistakes your ready for. We think to establish those things, put them into a challenge and then imagine ourselves dealing best so that we can be ready, it’s conscious living, INTENTIONAL.

What you can do of “Service” for your day. Supposedly in AA meetings they should call I think 3 ppl to check on them -a day?!?! LMAOOOO and it’s happened but nobody has also MOSTLY OH FOR SURE NO. So okay, I’m learning. Send a lil note, gift or sign of appreciation, HELP ppl somehow. It’s really important actually but I do it immediately but it’s a good way to go. ;)

Think of how u can take a step foreword to be even Greater… or a better version of yourself, what can u do to grow more, love more, be better?

As your Own Coach… what would u tell yourself to improve on? What should u remember? What kind or encouraging words could u think of the to both Push and Settle your beautiful soul? -U know this!!! You are a Guru too.

Any big picture projects or directions to have in mind to remember your Goals? This is important, step back from this DAY and see if it’s headed there… you are steering, remember?

At the end of the day, u want to be feeling what? Content, happy, like your on the path aligned w your purpose and you aren’t living in a blur of days all in a mush like a non-manifesting sheep who can’t even think for him or herself. Ew. 

This is the morning routine besides the brushing teeth etc stuff. And I’m terrible remembering the morning stuff to do. 

——-

At night or whenever your day comes to a close… u do a couple other things… same as brushing your teeth again we must re-visit something for the soul. To take better control of our lives, the direction of our life, see the light and shine it in the way to grow… like a flashlight… we choose the path, we see the way, we have the light and we choose the way. There is a wrong way bc it’s not the better one but you end up “it’s OK” anyway… but if u like “ok” then go for it but I like FABULOUSLY IRRISITABLE ;) ya way!

Then u examine… self examine. And u ask yourself questions to review your day. Like what was good? What could u have done better? Is Mr. Fabulously IRRISITABLE ready for U yet? This is the answer, answer honestly LOL. 

Benjamin Franklin had some 13 words I think it was maybe more that he like went over to see in his own ratings, how he personally rated his days. Bc we have better and worse days but he was that cool… he created his own lil system so he’s really cool. I’m a fan. I always wanted to too and I’m starting to collect these ways and then I will too. 

At the end of the day u reflect to find what was good about your day, what stuck out to u to remember a moment, when u do u imagine it and u feel the good feelings in your body, your heart… u might smile. Bringing it back to mind doubles it’s power in your life and triples it by writing it down and then quadruples it next time u read it and so on… so exponential is truly here. Now enhance it instead of dimming it… u give it its merit, u again bring back that feeling of gratitude, magnify the allure of this dream u are living as well as being a part of creating it. Your doing so good and we are so celebrating the you and the small things. They are each powerful in your journey. Let them live! Remember them more, bring them back to bring more of that into your life. It’s better than anything else u could possibly do for yourself. 

Mention a lesson learned or what u realize… 

So many times this goes unnoticed bc it takes an extra effort to think about. Again, Awareness is super critical to live an intentional life. Your life is to be aligned w your PURPOSE and to find out ones purpose one must do the work… it’s a mixture of what your good at and what you love to do and to be PRESENT and in service to the Great Spirit or others… your dream won’t work if the purpose is confused or lost or u r doing things fit the wrong reasons. Point! 

How could u have made your day better?

How could u feel more connected to others? 

And Last but not least what would u tell yourself as a high performance coach? 

(Just curious) 

Well, I went to Rikos, 5 of us played “Cards Against Humanity”

I was flying a lil too much, they r empaths and healers and could tell lol. 

I was happy and had extra energy and they could sense either the EXTRA LIGHT I gave off or maybe made some of them MAYBE more tired… I rested last night and I had a good productive day, for my own personal rating system and that’s better than not having rated myself well and feeling THAT… so I’m doing MUCH BETTER. I am feeeding my soul, things are clicking and I’m inspired to keep on going. I wish it was easier to get more done but “it’s ok” 

As long as I’m using the power of intention, trying to set my own rituals, and spelling it out for all to see… it is my work to do my work and Craft my craft, for a more peaceful, connected life. I called it similar, “ unity and harmony”

Same sorta thing. It’s all similar when u have the right intention. The magic is profound,,, only pros-find it. It’s ancient wisdom there for those who look to find it and care to find a meaning to life which is purely a more meaningful life which has to do w being loved and wanted and included and needed and respected and well-rounded for the slices of your pie 3.14 which adds up to 8 infinity. And infinity only happens w a feeling of flow and balance… even a bank account balance could be a part of the balance. Flow is money as well. But everything lined up and u don’t ever have to work another day in your life. To some this comes easy. I am beginning to do what I can that I know I can do but I wish I was more a part of this world and less on my own separate cloud over here. I rather be around ppl who are better than me, support me, get me, believe in me, want me to succeed, join in on the forces to make a winning. So bc I don’t exactly have that it leads me to think of the reality, I don’t have to necessarily doubt myself it’s more about facts. If this was easy money ppl would jump right in. I never thought money could be that easy like the money games ppl r playing. The distortion of value. The ways to invest, risk, to be a follower to a fib that feeds off your belief of a lie to sustain it. That wouldn’t be me, even if it was my idea and a great idea… it’s basis of importance is based off of everyone else’s belief in the lie. Similar to the art world but now digital. The power it gains depends on us and I’m not a follower, I’m also part rebel. I’m dumb not to play early on in the game but I forecast the BS, gambling really. 

But it’s the opposite of an equal to equal value. It’s an interesting invention. Mixed in with how illegal money can creep back into the monetary system. This is so crazy to me! When this was what was keeping them accountable, ppl paying taxes and shit? It should be easier and already done. And I’m not the only one who wants to live free and be happy. Let me meditate on this. 

Goodnight.

All the things

It’s late again, my time of night but honestly it’s a lil late for me too. I think it’s late a lil more bc everyone else thinks it late lol bc without that extra vibe on top of everyone sleeping I would naturally be up at this time lots of times anyway, maybe I like how it’s extra quiet and I can finally think straight ;) 

I’ve been doing stuff, I stopped myself from saying “good” stuff, just to be honest… it’s been a lot of catching up in business stuff so it’s not necessarily super flowing, it’s like rusty, cranky, messy, work stuff that is stupid and should already be in place but I’ve had a long vacation, haven’t I? Yeah, maybe we all did… I have just felt to ask myself deep deep things like “what am I doing?” And “what do I want?” And some stuff you turn a blind eye… is that what they call it? “Turn a blind eye?” I think it’s when you just don’t even go there bc it’s easier not to even look to change, or you don’t look from HIGH enough, Eagles perspective is the medicine. I got Eagle #1 and it was right side up. I thought that was pretty cool. It said to feed your body but most importantly feed your SOUL! Now I’m thinking Soul Food lol… but literally I was starving! I was thinking of ways and I have a huge great idea which will come but also noticed how good it felt to HELP friends during Covid like I became a great organizer it’s crazy LOL. After all these moves and STUFF I just know how to get things at least to look Better quickly for the sake of your health, visual health effect type shit… to going innnn to every detail of thingie and just having quick solutions without the extra emotional attachment to the thingie so it was easier, it was quick, I enjoy it, I like to work, I work hard, this is one of my strengths NOW and it wasn’t always, I had ppl who cleaned and did shit for me always and I collected and collected shit like a mountain of shit WHICH I LOVE BTW!!! and over time I chipped at the mountain by selling my things of value for extra cash, down sizing, moving, letting go, growing out of, giving stuff back to ppl who would want it more. Ugh but not only clothes and accessories but tons of products like ridiculous the amount of things like that that got accumulated, also magazine cut outs and I mean boxes and boxes full. 

Be back later.

Learning

Going to do another cleanse… any day now the drinking will have to stop, I will eat clean, I will run every morning, I will try to get enough rest (having a tough time w this one these days) and for a good 21 days at least I will do a cleanse. I need it. I want it. I must. I wish I had a bathtub right now but it’s in the other bedroom. I might go outside to look at the moon for a second. 

Did lots of work both w biz and internally reading and doing daily questions to help line up my intentions and make my days more fulfilling. I do need to sleep tonight. I will. I’d just zap myself to sleep if I could lol. It’s the excitement for the work to do. I’ve been productive the nights but it’s time to do things more normal and rest my soul so I can shine brighter for people in the day. Okay… ugh… auveoir 

You guys

Knowwww I don’t go out! I don’t know Carlitos at the door (even tho I do now lol o wiould leave to show him, I do not pay cover!) yes. U guessed it… Do Not Sit. Which was my home every Sunday back in the day for Bella Rose… I been there and been here and they changed it! They changed it in a way that I swear I thought it had no hope… Even tho the hope IS there… I’ve seen that place go from ASHY TO CLASSY! Lmao. Biggie would have loved it… (I was about to say he would have hated it… but I changed my mind lol) I’m telling u tho… I thought this place was what it was… something about uncomfortable places makes ppl Move Around… and I thought of that! Cuz the fact that it wasn’t so comfortable made it… whatever it made it… but let’s B real, the sound to be loud was OK, and the fact that it was uncomfortable made it maybe a cheaper venue to rent… maybe? (I do not know nothing …) so anyway it changed! And the ppl are great. But tje great ppl come bc the great DJ. So did the chick hatch from an egg? And did the bear become a chicken father? No. Bc none of them needed that.  But ppl more quiet bc they weren’t allowed to be as obnoxious. I know im too much… you all are mostly pretty safe zone if u ask me… why? Why is a great question. Same as what answers why my dog is so cool! Same as why what works, works. Like why a certain man chooses the kind of lady who isn’t going to say much, who and why the amazing women who can hold back or not but that a good man would prefer tjat,,,, Is understandable. I know. I am amazed. My good friends are gone. I stir the pot, I don’t exactly belong but it’s great that I at least feel like I do! I am a privileged girl but I’m not a light weight, I’m the back alley walking cat that curiosity killed slowly. I’m still not convinced by the “open my door” thing but according to one of my good friends… a good man does that. A pearl in a clam in the sea and a diamond in the rocks from the pressure… and that’s exactly it. We juman beings do the same… Jumanji! The jungles. The Dina soars, the ideas I’ve had have been better… much better! But some of it better than my ideas could have ever been. The sunsets and sunrises recorded and projected. TVs r diff from projectors. Lonely and more and more hippy. I don’t have a guy plan. I don’t think Sacramento California is cool either. Get real or bury me alive ppl! I’m about to do the mash potato … Honduras, where is that even? Ppl will do things… it’s all happening, while we allow it to. I had so much fun tonight. I’m super crazy like from one table to the next… whatever. They get it. I’m not a DJ cuz I’m a dancer that is important. So funny omg talking to random ppl, who does that tho? It was cool. I left when I first felt to. I’m here now. I’m good, tired. Wait! So, I talk to random  ppl! The rules are bent out of shape and into a crowbar! I do not like everything! I more do not like anything the way it is bc I have an opinion on anything and everything and it’s getting rude. Barbie was quiet and I’m out of control. But then instead of Saying nothing it’s like I’m saying things… some ppl do not like me and some ppl do not like tjat China will come and copy them or that they are forever trapped on a loop. It’s not only about money. It’s not only about anything!!! It’s about being an efficient, tnoightful man. I can barely believe it myself. I believe in jack hammers ruining your Sunday morning. In getting dizzy from the height. From the unfairness… tjat I am a part of but I wouldn’t be able to survive if not. I’m not going to go eat at that place u guys think I eat at LMAO. No, I don’t feel like it. My cousin btw sold me out so dirty I officially know now what it feels to have REALLY NOBODY AND LOL STOP LYING…. Frisbeee… magnetic boomerang and scientifically capture the energy of it wanting to leave but it couldn’t! The frisbee doesn’t take the train. The boomerang doesn’t care  what my name is. The stench is there… no matter for zoo animals or Guatemalans or Hondurans LOL. Roxy will pass one day. I thought I did good Hahha and what am I saying again? Ugh who cares. I do cuz I chose to. I’m Gona sound really stupid right now but what is Dialis and what is Jefferson Airplane? And can somebody save me from my stupidity, it’s just a cry for help, a lonesome sorrow. Be a better friend I SAY. Be better Than they say. Motivate yourself. 

Diff lives, diff times. I am nobody anymore. I am a wiyness. I’m not super controlling but I also don’t feed into the lies. 

If I was going to do things w my life at this point… it should be clear. It would be better to be respectful of rituals. 

I can’t believe the things that have happened. My forehead shows stress once again, my mind doesn’t like lies. She actually never responded. She must be busy, priorities are delicate.   Have a dislocated right hip. 

I didn’t wash my face or brush my teeth yet. It’s super late and I’m here trying to be Mama to Roxy. She’s here but I’m it Gona try to keep a certain mans attention who threw me away.  I’m still hurt. Haha hurtz… ketchup. I’m not Gona be ok for a while cuz of the lack of respect and I’m lost for words again as u can see.. I’m 

To be honest, I added to it: I faked it. 

It’s too lonely here, I rather be a bird.

Oh and Do Not Sit On The MF Furniture BITCH! So stop pretending and leave me alone. I am not your friend. Xo

Words…

Loving

Good looking king kind intelligent 

Hardworking fun honest sensible sweet soothing adventurous warm cuddly cozy funny easygoing when needed firm cultured 

A lady named Crystal told me not to share w ppl when I get down bc ppl who are sending me negativity feed off of it. I thought that was so interesting bc it what I do, I write the negative out so it can flow out of me and leave me in a way… I am so confused we even feel these terrible feelings. If I do, imagine! I know it’s leaving me… we all might be doing better together as a whole over time, getting more used to life’s ups and downs and better at cushioning the tough times for ourselves. I’m on a journey of awakening. It’s all happening… I’m going to get it together and better and better. It’s unbelievable how many things must be going on at the same time. I still have things to learn and people to meet and the divine timing of this life, alchemizing the movements and thoughts like a cause and effect. It’s all here and now and the peace in a pause in the bliss of a beautiful kiss, hold her, stay with her a while, it’s not a dress rehearsal, it’s better not to rush. Ppl need to be held and not asked for things from them. Just be. Just be together and savor the moment and allow time to pass by without saying anything but staying present in deep care and love like a gift to that person. It’s not that hard to do. To not do. To not say, to not keep on w whatever is next but to stop for once and not let yourself go back to u but stay THERE, right there, breathing, seeing the little peach fuzz hairs, they are growing and cells shedding or whatever try to see it. Really look tho. What do u see? What do u see w eyes closed about that person, being there for that person in a present way. It’s underrated. 

Seeed

I feel like a seed. In the dark. In the warmth of the Earth, from the sun. It’s juicy moist texture all around me. Should I come out to see the sun? Should I stretch my arm out for some fun? Cool inside this cuccooon I’m pampered, things feel just right. The texture I’m in is pleasant like my bed right now. Striving for something we feel we must!!!! What is it out there that is such thrust? What am I shakespgere now? The crooks n crannies see the light slightly, anglular rays piercing in the cracks from under. Birds. It’s always the same. And always different as well. Hungry for Hugs. The Huggy Monster lol. I have You Roxy. I am very lucky. It’s the luck of the Irish! Haha if only the beach was right outside, I’d never leave.  I like it here.  I can feel some kind of vibration hatching me out. Like I’m growing and birthing…. YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSASSSSSSSSSSSAAASASSSSASAZSZzzzzzzzzzzzz…..

So this guy..

Like w no shirt on, a bowl of whatever popcorn or chips, opens the door w his back while keeping eye contact with you as it …. 

I forgot what I was Gona say but I’m so glad ppl are fucking

Eruptions! Erupts! Erupto! WTF the thing doesn’t even let me write it!!! Meng ya que pasa contigo border..

No I don’t watch sumo. Yes I can watch sumo. Do I want to? No. But I’m happpyyy it exists! It’s culture, it’s interesting, I don’t get it so pls teach me. Anddedeeddddddd

Photoshop!

Wow I just poisoned the prayer w the word Photoshop I think. 

Echo

Is what I meant, it’s a sound, it’s a projection that multiplies to infinity. Dots do. So if dots don’t move they are solid but each a dot moving through is a ripple. Ripples of symmetry in layers and cutting through air cake !!!!  Lassoued by a cowgirl on her horse-xcuseme… coming through… battling acrobats… what just happened? I feel fine though. I feel better by the day actually. I feel like I’m gonna have to do more arent I? I will do my Best. May all the heavens and even non heavens Rest In Peace. 

Amén.

She’s back lol

I told u I’m nocturnal and the owl is one of my spirit animals, can u handle it? Lol did t think so! Me neither actually. The other is def a camel, possibly a Butterfly (that’s my good omen sign) I listen to the signs… I stop and read what 555 means bc it’s not all in my head like I’m not that good yet… but it’s getting there. I’m just into what I’m into and your you and into whatever that is and I want to know some things but my time here is limited so I don’t want to know everything. I don’t blame you for thinking the same about what I’m choosing to rant about… it’s just my own therapeutic journey… it doesn’t have to be public but we r so over saturated w things to read and do… this isn’t something everyone has to read at all. It’s supposed to get better at that tho I guess… is that right? Ok so…  here goes the twist…

“TAMARA, you are my beloved daughter, I love you” said God.

I believe we are Gods, if we are the sons and daughters we are also the new Gods to experience life and eventually grow up to take reigns by noticing the power of our words, thoughts & desires. Do we know what our greatest desire/desires are? It’s not that easy. You know you feel meant for more yet you don’t step into it completely, you know yet shy away from the fullness of your entire being. You have your moments. You are cheating w what isn’t really you. You forgot how hard it is to be your clear authentic self and you hide behind the masks of comfort only to numb thy self from the power of your healing light only to dim yourself in the end bc your not as big yet you hide behind a curtain til it’s too late to even come out at all and then blame it on the show being missed and scurry off without even saying bye hoping nobody will notice LOL. Not a good Look TAMBO! Lol. I will write a private forgiveness letter to God… he knows it’s coming… he understands, he forgives me… it’s about forgiving myself and about the love that has no where to go sometimes… it starts to become a universe inside of me… our bodies are entire universes for sure. The sacred geometry shapes there are repeated into broken down divisions and fractions and it’s percentile of linear line isn’t even there…. It’s that infinite… it’s everything in everyway so maybe it’s doesn’t matter so much what I say but what I mean and what I feel like to be around… so before I knew this I would be pouring our sort of negativity bc it didn’t know where to go… and then reading back at things I notice that it’s not just the reader it’s also the FEEDER… and how I’m releasing my ways has a flourishing phenomena… you know like wicked spell purpose… onimotapoiea ah 

Ahhh

Gah

Wah

Jah

Ra

I better be good for something 🧲

Digging for… Gold…✨

The last sip-per…

I’m lying on my yoga mat before the sunrises knowing how much love I have for both the sun and the moon and which I think I am more like or which I aim to be more like or which I’d like to see more of or any comparison to question to know where I stand and how lovely it is and honestly I don’t even question it. If it’s true I’m supposed to be asleep at night and awake in the day I just really like to stay awake talking while watching the stars, catching them shoot across the sky… or a fire burn in the night, it’s warmth gives me feelings of hope, incredible power, ancient wisdom, nature as something to respect, I don’t need to take Ayawaska to get that. I feel my ancestors and all of our higher powers and the magnitude of intelligence that finally I can assure you we shouldn’t fear, we are watched, guided and cared for when we need it. Creepy are our thoughts, not their love. We must deliberately ask for more guidance, show more respect, remember they are who come before us, I also forget these things. I came to write again, to discuss a silly thought, the love and care I crave now questionable cuz then I won’t be as able to be my crazefree self… I’d have new eyes on me caring to watch me do these rarities and then I ask why I don’t belong? It’s bc I guess I wanted this, I painted this picture, I manifested the dream through some kind of intention and even if u want more than one thing u end up somewhere… it’s my wild guess. I appreciate being here, exactly where I am, only thing is missing is you to hold and be held by. That would mean I’d have less time to write here, I’d be more present, the moment, connection. I took a year off writing one time, just saying… it is a long time but also something i missed. I’ve tried lots of diff things but some things do stay the same, don’t they. I couldn’t have a baby now, I don’t even have a guy… I have a dog, I have a business to attend to, I have relationship issues. I don’t go to a therapist. I don’t take meds. I deal. Life is about teamwork, about sharing moments w ppl u love and love u back. Life is no fun alone, socially distanced, or wearing a mask. Life is a lie if it is. Life is not supposed to be like this and this is not life. Kids and even dogs r seeing owners/parents holding a phone all day long. I can’t be a part of this and yet I am. We know it and we just are… we can’t not be. Everything is made of plastic! I don’t know what to eat anymore. Silly things hyped up to be so expensive and then it don’t match up to what we can afford. They r selling us fake crap or temp shit or even what’s cheap is so cheap but the pollution isn’t being acounted for. While turnin a blind eye we see time fly by… we make time to avoid, to get high and to play w puppets while missing the point and losing sight of the goals and over all direction. We all know this now. We are human and want to find pleasure, with enough money we can do that but also it’s got to be found for free. Not through drugs or even marathons but through more of what’s simple in life before the cement. The great pleasures shared for those with nothing. That it is limitless w solar, wind… why deprive and punish ONLY, so much? I always pretty much say the same thing… yes, a better world. A better world. 

Shape up Wake up Whatever…

I dont wana “wake up”, (Had this in my notes and it’s Gona go here, somethings I write in other secret places. I write in my notes and I do still write on paper FYI)( Ps again, this is old. )

But i feel like a drink.

I said i wouldnt drink for June but that didnt pan out. I wanted to but then i knew it would be hard cuz life can get tough and you opt for a drink to or i did.

I came home wayyy too late again, my parents must think im crazy. I did come home late, my life isnt structured enough. Idk who to blame but myself but i feel like taking a big ass shot of vodka or turning the alarm off to grab a beer, an IPA which i dont even like. Usually when i want this, i dont do it but i might this time. Im just being honest. Doesnt pay to be honest. I was at a friends in the SW area and i think i even have my destination shit visible. Thats how much im like “here i am, so what?” Lol if i was up so something worse i wouldnt have that. So, im home finally, hoping my parents wont be pissed or know how late i got here and and so many other things i dont even wana talk. I feel fine, just wondering if im a freak or simply still on LA time.

Baby Pink Airplane FLY FLY FLY

Dude wow but why do even GUYS feel the need to partner up? Like if I’m ok w not… imagine… this could actually be another pandemic ;) 

Ok Bc if things were too perfect, they’d be too perfect right? ???

I think so too.

Palindrome, palm tree, air, breathe, thank God I don’t have to sell my soul. 

What is going on?

Like the paper airplane once launched is going to fall down… 

 Paper plane tie dye baby pink pls

The brain exercises were shared w me. To make me a better athlete, student …  to play a video game w my brain… it’s the start of the future! Who gets to do that? Thank u. But why? My mom is so hung up on vaccines right now, I don’t get why she was convinced to do this other thing. I just don’t get it. As much as I want to understand 

Mean it Go Green it ?

Ok so, what happened? I forgot exactly if you could remind me… it’s making me crave something and then I want the other thing and that’s how we balance… u know? So we are in a reality game instead of a virtual one… instead of the biz game, the art game, the food game, we have this very important game we call LIFE. We are all players playing in it… you might be player #1 and somewhere in your life are all these other players… and they all think they are player #1 right? So they are ultimately in it for themselves. And all these other things come into play to affect them. Idk what kind of GAME it is when I’m not in the game… but I only have my view of the game and things in my game change when I make different decisions and hang w diff “players”  like it could make a nitty gritty city look like paradise etc. it could look like rose colored lenses are suddenly an option, or treasure and opportunities pop out of the wood works… it’s prob not one sided either… there would be sooo many diff kinds of WORLDS we could see by just exploring the chances of this “REAL virtual Game” that coincide w who we really are and what we have to offer that we would/could date ppl in a dream like our FAKE PRETEND PERSONA could date for us while we are busy doing the real deal stuff,,,, Na mean? 

Go Green, don’t be mean, I would only be mean to the ppl that needed it … hahaha 

I’m such a bitch sometimes! ;) 

NOT!

Xoxoxo

TAMS

Hello I’m

A classy woman. I’m a bit …. But I’m just joking, (I’m joking)… ((I’m not really joking though!!))… Hi! yes Hi…. Still here.. mmmm … I’d like to offer you something… 

We’ll just, We’ll just… 

;) 

LOVE YOU.

Protection

So I used to be cool, I used to be young and cutting edge  and now I find myself like in between places… trying to find myself. Trying to see if “free” is even worth it. I’m not as cutting edge anymore. You gota be young to know what’s up more, you know that tho… now I’m better… I don’t root for That… D worst headache… 

Cuz I do it 4 myself! I’m the Best at this LOL

I have 5 migraines. I knew this would happen. 

OMG lol.  I have a huge heart I heard a train just now I am super trying to figure it out. 

Still on hold…

Lol

Xoxoxox

Tambo te quiere …

Scissor Sisters

Hello hello hello is there anybody in there just nod if you can hear me (echo) 

is there anybody home?

come on now, I hear you’re feeling down…. well I can is your pain, and get you on your feet again           relax 

I need some information first. first, relax… just to face the facts …can you show me where it hurts… 

well I don’t know who you are and that you’re OK with no punctuation. So I thought that we could share God duties.

Good to Go

Wow ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. So. So…….. so, I’ve noticed that when we are young we are feeling quite powerful and confident and willing… JESUS CHRIST WAS HUMBLE AND NOT EXEMPLIFIED IN CAPS LIKE THIS OK SORRY… but there are new humans coming into the force…. Affecting the force… who are they when they are un KNOWN of even themselves? Who are they? how even dare they? Like how do you even Tjhink tho? Sorry, Not sorry this time. But hey! I’m not stupid. And who are you? But who tho? Practice makes perfect that’s fir sure. But I’m not here for you to practice on. I rather PAY you when you are THERE. I can teach u things too. But you will learn, but I won’t be your practice, I am waiting for you, to have that moment w u, before you .. bloom.

Wow TAMARA

9. Ra’ רַע (pronounced rah)

There are many different words for sin in the bible but ra’ is used more than 600 times!  It comes from another Hebrew word ra’a, meaning evil or bad.  When you remove the “a” sound at the end, its meaning encompasses “evil”, “harm”, “displeasure”, or “misery” but it also conveys an aspect of brokenness.  It can mean “broken into pieces”, like when something’s completely ruined or “blemished”, like things unfit for presentation to God, such as for sacrifice.

Use in Scripture

The ugly, gaunt cows from Pharaoh’s dream in Genesis 41 are described using this word, as is the wild beast that Joseph’s brothers claimed devoured him in Genesis 37.  It’s also the word that was translated into “evil” in describing the tree in the Garden of Eden.  It was the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Ra’.

A Reader’s Hebrew and Greek Bible

Brokenness

While we know that sin is disobedience to God, without the aspect of brokenness, we have no reason to turn to our Savior.   Everyone knows there’s sin in their life but not everyone realizes their brokenness in it.  We all know someone who says “Sure, I’ve done bad things but I’m a good person overall”.  This is to imply that sin is just part of who we are, but God will surely compare us to one another and forgive the good people for being less evil than the really evil ones. 

It sounds great but that’s just not how it works.  The bible says that we ALL have fallen short of God’s glory (Rom. 3:23).  He’s just too glorious, too perfect, and too holy for us – even the good ones – to ever measure up to Him.  HE is what we’ll be compared to in judgement, which is why all of us need Jesus, the only person to have kept all of the Law perfectly, as our substitute.  

Without realizing that the ra’ in our hearts has left us blemished, unacceptable, and broken before God, we are unable to see our need to accept the gift of Jesus.  When we get to the point of being devastated by our ra’, we can then humbly approach God, genuinely repentant, and be made unblemished, acceptable, and perfect in the eyes of our Creator, fit for communion with Him!

These are just a few examples of Hebrew words that can enrich our faith through an understanding of them in their original form.  Imagine what can come to light in the process of learning even more of the Hebrew language!  As lifelong students of the bible, learning its main original language will deepen both our faith and our relationship with the God of the universe!

What brought you here?

Eager to start working again… I have lots of great ideas to juggle at the same time. I’m really excited and of course could use some help. It’s time to start a new and reinvent myself… I’m truly excited foe what’s to come and I’m going to give it my all. I will continue also w my Reiki studies, my running & yoga which help me feel great, my healthy cooking, my doggie moments OMG I miss Roxy so much! I’m feeling really happy, centered, creative, grateful & like I have everything I need to go into the next phase. I don’t know how I will handle ALL of the business part but I’m hoping I can handle all the orders, new projects and activities with a solid team which I’m slowly building. I want to pay well but I need the right team who isn’t going to BS the job, trust is huge right now bc I need to leave some things to others. I will try not to micro manage but have learned u can’t really leave things completely in the hands of others with a long list of duties so it’s incremental and together over time w more things done correctly it will lead to exponential. I’m not worried and rather go slow and have things done right. It’s going to be a beautiful journey and I want to dance our way through the challenges. I’m not going to worry, I’m simply going to breathe more and trust more. I’m going to ask for help when I’m overwhelmed and have better people around me who are available to do the work it takes to make a dream come true. It has to be fun, positive, focused & peaceful. So maybe my new rule is:

EASY DOES IT, LOVE IS ALWAYS A BETTER WAY, HAPPY IS LIKE A FONT GET JIGGY W IT IT MAKES LIFE SO MUCH BETTER, SPRINKLE KINDNESS ALL OVER EVERYONE & EVERYTHING PLEASE. THANK U SO MUCH! Yippee LOL

Peace ✌️ 

HOW TO GET A WOMAN…

How to get a woman…

Step number one choose wisely, really choose. If you choose too easily move on too fast or don’t choose well enough we’ll find out and you won’t stand a chance.

Step number two point your arrows to target. Once you have selected your victim Point your arrows….

Point you’re many arrows first point your brain arrow once you have it in your mind that that is who you want your mind is a very powerful arrow and must be pointing in the direction of your prospect. 

Point Your eye arrows… you have three eyes the two physical ones will let her know you are interested these are very important signs for her to know the game is on. Your third eye must also be pointed in clear direction to target. 

Next is your heart arrow, This arrow will make sure you have only nice things to say and do for her. If this arrow becomes anyway unfocused on your target you instantly lose the game. 

Your gut arrow must be pointing, with this arrow decide what top 3 restaurants you want to take her on your first date. Don’t be gluttonous, be classy. Find out what she likes. Make good decisions. Be thoughtful and remember James Bond. 

The last important arrow is the one we don’t need to mention that’s the one you guys tend to think with. This member of the pack is also very important. Must be ready to go, cared for, healthy, groomed if need be just as much a your face. Remember to be thoughtful w this powerful arrow for he might be getting some action so come ready with his special Bday suit (if u know what I mean). 

To be continued…